AdventAxl Con-crit
As I stated in my response on your review on my Kirby Short, I am doind some con-crit on it.
For starters, the preloaders should have a play button afterwards, especially if there is a replay button at the end of the flash.
That's another thing, buttons. It doesn't have to be words that a flat or words at all. Like in my short the play button is Kirby and Waddle Doo while the replay button is somewhat hidden by the words "You'd like that wouldn't you" to give the impression that there isn't one, but clicking the fishing Waddle Doo you'll see that isn't the case. I used my Graphic Designer sense on it. Making it unique will also catch others eyes. like when you roll over the button it does something different. (like when you roll over the buttons in my version), you can control it as long as you have an idea on what you are doing with buttons. (I was an idiot when I 1st started on flash and messed up my button somehow) :P
Onwards to the animation:
- Everything seems pretty slow. If you polish out the motions and lower the fps it rill have it run faster and look better.
- The environment does suit Kirby or Lololo & Lalala's appearance. What I did was study Kirby Stages and made my own. I used the beach stage while the layout is similar to the very 1st stage in Nightmare in Dreamland, the background was all me (clouds sun, sunset, water, etc.) The bg should match the characters, to make it look convincing that you know the characters well.
- The Textbar moved slow, no offense, but I don't think people read that slow. I'd have to admit, the bar went down a little slow too.
- His swallowing sounds come from a handheld Kirby game. Anyway, Kirby needs to match the sound used.
- His swallowig motion doesn't match how Kirby usually does it. I recommend replicating sprites or studying Super Smash Bros. Brawl to make it accurate. IMO accuracy is key. I also recommend making the food go in to his mouth quicker.
- Since Kirby is small the bathroom shoud be huge compared to him. It would also be funny if he had to jump up there to puke (BOOMER!!! *Explosion*)
>___>
*Ahem* where was I?
The bathroom was a pretty plain setting, it's a start on making it the opposite of cute and cuddly. I recommend using color and stains on the walls to make it more convincing.
- The vomit should be more than stars, a rainbow would be hilarious also the pace should be sped up.
-Lastly since people on here expect a plot, making it a tad longer would make this a flash impressive. Not 5 mins or so, but 35 seconds at the least.
I hope this helps!