Uhmm
I just... I just dont understand. And I dont think I want to...
Reviews for "Coffee, boy!"
Toy noise at the end
It sounded like either a phaser or the photon torpedo from old star trek next generation toys.
Funny thing, old synchro from Star Trek^^
Very good! sorry guys, but you have to understand german if you don't, you fail...
Hildebrandt responds:
hell yeah ;D
What Just Happened?
... No. Seriously. What just happened? There was coffee, there was a man transforming into a robot, there was... oh, heavens, was there ever... gratuitous nudity. What there wasn't, anywhere that I could discern, was a point. The best that I could credit this video with is being possibly the only way to make an otherwise forgettable joke about milk in coffee memorable.
OK, I didn't give this a 0 rating for two specific reasons.
A: Despite the fact that the animation had nothing to say, it said it beautifully. It was worth about 1 and a half stars by itself. The creators of this piece seem to have put a lot of work into it. The animation was passably smooth and the drawings were surreal but detailed.
B: It may be that something was lost in translation here. I'm unsure about this, so call this half a star. To be honest, it's hard to imagine how this would be improved if it were in English. In fact, others have already pointed out that most of what this video has going for it is that it's in a foreign language.
What I assume to be the translation in the authors comments doesn't elucidate much. "Nice black hot beautiful coffee, shit", from near the end, is more or less the mission statement. The flash is definitely about coffee, but it doesn't hold opinions on coffee. All we know for sure is that it makes you turn into a robot and causes naked models to materialize. But the point of turning into a robot is to punch people who insult your coffee. And the models don't actually do anything except taunt you. Is all that supposed to be good? Bad? Indecisive? These answers are not provided. The main character just grabs his crotch, the woman gets in a final jab, and the video fades to black.
Look, I try not to be overly harsh on videos. There's a lot of stuff on Newgrounds that's like this. And considering "Balgina Safari" also made it to the hallowed front page, I guess I can't even say it's all that unusual. But here's the thing. At least that video gave you a definite point and expressed definite opinions while giving it. In the same way, the biggest advice I'd give these artists is to really work on expressing some point to the audience. Your artistic talent is considerable, but right now it's lacking even the barest coherent story framework to hold it together. That, and only use nudity if there's a reason. Nudity can be an effective tool in certain instances, but random nudity looks and feels amateurish, especially when, as here, it has a painfully thin pretext for existence.
I'll finish on a positive note. It's a common phrase, but I really think there's potential here. it's just not realized in this video. And certainly not enough to make this worth being on the front page.
Hildebrandt responds:
Hey fella,
I always love reading those long reviews when somebody is yacking about my Flash cartoons, because I find it very amusing.
In your case, I decide not to post some profanity because you misunderstood my film.
I am NOT trying to make a point.
This is coffee.
Black, hot, very delicious coffee, boy! Drink some coffee. Drink it and write down what comes to your mind. Or better: Draw it. Then, make a movie about it. At least, that's what I did. Just try not to focus on a message or anything, try to get the feeling.
Thanks for your review!
I'll be honest.
This flash probably wouldn't even have been funny if it WASN'T in... HUNGARIAN, or whatever. Animation, pph. Song, pph. Language, pph.
...Actually, the animation wasn't quite dreadful, and I watched the whole thing, so... Yeah.
Hildebrandt responds:
Mucho sucko, si senor?
Muy bien.