Very cute.
The story, while being very generic, was certainly creative and cute. The grammar was horrid, the art was pixely and odd, and the whole thing seemed to lack some effort.. but it was still very well done, considering your age. All in all, this submission differed very much from others, which is both fantastic and terrible. I can't say the art and grammar was amazing, but I definitely look forward to what you may achieve in the future. If the story didn't have so much substance and length, I would give this a three or so. However, seeing as the circumstances are otherwise.. you deserve a five or a six. Good luck in the future.