Judgemental?
You submitted this piece to NG to be judged, so you shouldn't ask people to not be judgmental. That's what they're here to do. You should just say "keep in mind this was my frist flash" or something.
Anywho, you've got good ideas for angles and sequencing, but the artwork needs to improve. You'll get there, you've got the hardest parts figured out already, stuff that some artists never achieve. Just keep at it and you'll do great things.