Interested
The demo itself is kind of a waste of time, I mean you can't even do anything. I am, however, interested in seeing the game when it's completed. Might I suggest that next time you feel you must submit a demo of ANYTHING, you at least have some kind of gadget that the player can mess around with. To be perfectly honest with you though, it's better to just submit the full game when it's ready and ask for advice on the boards when you're developing. Many flash makers I know have a lot more success with that.
THAT said, I think you got a cool idea here. The writing could use a little editing, but obviously you are still working on it so that may change. There isn't much to make reccomendations on other than "cool idea," so instead I will just wish you luck with finishing.