Reviews for CoolJaw: O.S. I-V

[InsertFunnyUserName]

3/5

I love the storyline. You managed to go the "start the story with a strange dream" rout without making it cliche, which is awesome.

You did have some perspective issues in a few of the drawings. In the 'street with one house' slide, the street and the house have a different perspective. There are similar problems in the slide where he's standing in front of the house. This is always a risky angle to try to draw. The foreshortening on the person is too extreme in relation to that of the house. Also, the person's center of gravity is off. He looks like he's about to fall over. On the next slide where it just shows the door with the '101' placard, the perspective in funky as well. I don't know a good way to explain the problem well, so I'll just say that the left side of the placard should be parallel with the right side of the door, and adjust the perspective from there.

I was never a fan of the slideshow style. I think it takes away from the flash. I recommend making it a full animation for part two.

[Review Request Club]

Celx-Requin responds:

Hello,

I wanted to stick to the comic book format, and the whole perspective being out of place was done on purpose, to hint that the character was dreaming.

I probably am going to keep with this format, but I'll try to innovate a bit in the coming "chapters". I do hope you'll catch the next one though!

Thanks,
- Celx

[Gamewiz]

Seems incomplete

its a great story, i would prefer it to be a video than a slide show but its good anyway, the ending seems very incomplete though, anyway i cant wait to see the rest.

Celx-Requin responds:

Hello,

It was meant to be a comic book, so I tried to keep to the spirit of my source material anyhow I am aware it's pretty short.

However unlike something like shark, these chapters will be released a lot quicker,
so everything will come together soon.

Thanks for the review!
Sincerely,
- Celx