It's okay.
It needs some music and sound effects.
It's okay.
It needs some music and sound effects.
learn to spell please
Are you Israeli? You called it the land of Eretz...try to be a little more creative than just using another language's word for "land." Also, not to be rude, but you had some pretty horrendous (horrendous means very very bad) spelling mistakes.
Add more stuff
Music, animated cutscenes, art cutscenes, etc.