I loved the script and voice acting. I always have so much trouble with my scripts, but your's seems to flow so well, and your voice acting sealed the dealio. The art was decent, the animation was great, and plot was pretty good too.
I loved this, my only suggestion would be maybe to incorporate some actual lip sync into a character or two. No lip sync makes it look kind of lazy. Also, use more FBF, less tweening. Your current ratio kind of just pulls it off, but also makes it look a bit lazy. I think you should take advantage of your superior fbf and use it slightly more often.
That being said, good job.