Good, but could be great.
You have a good idea going here, but what you really need to do is fix your audio synchronization. The story was good, and the dialogue was well written, but the lip synching was so far off, it really detracted from the overall piece. Also, it would help if the dialogue moved faster, as well. Even though I liked the animation, I was almost ready to just stop watching it because the pace was so slow I was getting bored.
My advice would be to go back and re-record the dialogue at a faster pace, then synchronize it better with the animation, then resubmit.