YAWN.
I gave you a 10 for humor because it was so bad, it was funny. Either way, I'm sure you'd like a pro and con breakdown like everyone else gave, so:
*THE GOOD*
Nothing.
*THE BAD*
ALL OF IT, MAYBE?
Your efforts are 'charming', to say the least...but I suggest you both keep back-up plans for future employment, as this mediocre nonsense will get you nothing more than a few chuckles from...I dunno...GOOD artists and programmers?
FFF-AIL. PASS.