There had to be a better way
The controls felt sluggish, unresponsive, and awkward. I hated having to Pixel-hunt to make basic movement. The Fight seemed nearly impossible due to the horrid controls. I would have been muc better to make control buttons (Left, right, up, down) rather than the current setup. Leon moved terribly slowly, and a great number of the puzzles were too vague to solve without the aid of the Walkthrough.
The humor is... Lacking. I know you're a Brit in a mostly American audience, but I don't really recognize anything that would pass as humor.
Graphics were a little crude, but passable.
There were a LOT of sound issues. Poor voic Samples, generic and Bland music (Flashkit doesn't have very good music.) and chees sound effects.
If I had made this, and asked myself "Is this the best I can do?" I would be forced to answer "No." It's a massive file for an underwhelming game.