You took a great song and ruined it
That song, which is Danny Elfman's "Grand Finale" of Edward Scissorhands, and NOT 'Ice Dance' is probably the best piece of music ever written. That was my jewel. I get the impression you heard that great song and decided to write a flash around it, you even go far enough to copy the whole looking out the window while its snowing thing that Edward Scissorhands had going for it.
Could you not have chosen a cheesier story? Is that your artistic vision of such a moving musical masterpiece? Blah, Edward Scissorhands utilized that music to much greater effect. I didnt know whether the thing was a joke that was going to stop on some beat with a disc scratch and have a punchline, because yes, it was that cheezy.
Put simply, if ever there was cheesy piece of media I have watched in movies, flash or television, this is the one.