I wish I had those parenting skills...
Nice. I always wanted an evil supervillain mom but as it turns out I just got a regular old "concerned parent" mom. I'll make sure that my kids get what they need though, and that's a father who tells them amazing stories about when he was growing up (all of which will be blatant lies, but they won't figure that out until they're older).
My kids will think I'm the coolest dad in the world until they grow up and realize that I soooo owned them!