WOOOHOOO!! No quarter note kicks!!!!
Well, not terrible for a second try. So, here's what I have to say for this.
Add more melody. A lot more. Add strings, trumpets, whatever. Just add instruments with more flavor to them. Also, don't use the FL guitar sounds. If you do, use them for specific hits. In this instance, don't use them at all. Also, the hi-hat needs to be toned down on the amount of notes for this. There's too much focus on it. And that background pad you used was a little thin. Try to use one with more bass, or just run it through the Fruity Parametric EQ2 and increase the first three band-widths, give it some more bass. Also, don't try to build up with just the drums, tryo to use more of the melody to build up the song. The drums should be there to just give it a kick in the ass. Although, I did like the fact that you didn't use quarter note kicks. Keep on rolling with that. Help break this stupid quarter note kick thing that most trance/techno artists seem to think is soooo necessary to make a good song. So, hey, keep trying, push yourself, and you'll make some good shit =D