awesome tracks, outstanding work everyone
Reviews for "The NG Mall Music Collab"
These are all amazing to zone out to
This is an evolving review! I am putting a contextualized narrative to the various songs! Return to this review as I put endless hours into...
THE 45 CHALLENGE!
Couple things to point out: I don't have Grammerly ; this headset needs duct tape ; I am in the midst of quitting smoking...again ; I have a 12 pack of gut rot ; I normally review Art but my ears know what they like as much as my eyes do ; I have not listened to all the songs, just the ones I'm writing for
*Ca-chik Fizzzz... slurrrrp* Alright, let's go shopping.
0.) OMG ITS LOUD...hang on technical difficulties...okay let's try that again.
1.) I Imagine I'm walking towards the entrance to a bustling mall and then suddenly the brownies kick in...and now I'm speed walking to the bathroom but still captivated by the sprawling splendor of the mall around me. I check a directory and...
2.) The bathroom is on the 9th floor. I do the potty dance in an elevator of disinterested people. Cheeks in hand, I prance out of the elevator towards the very-active rest room. Inside is a seemingly endless line of stalls and sinks. I find a vacancy and conduct my business. Relieved and slightly nauseated , I exit the restroom with a triumphant grin, ready to explore the mall...
3.) Opposite the bathroom is a fishy sushi restaurant where a chef is on display, hard at work cutting stuff. I look up at the sky light and then down over the railing at balcony after balcony and a labyrinth of escalators. I walk on, passing a cool band playing next to a fountain...
4.) I meander along. A janitor sweeps up debris from a toppled over potted plant. I notice a lot of people wearing large brimmed fedoras and lumpy trench coats skulking about. I think to myself "these must be the fabled mall rats"...
5.) An unattended skateboard supply closet catches my eye. I break into it and shred out of the crime scene with a certain 'ennui' . I grind down escalator rails and do da loop de loop while contemplating life...
6.) I pop my newly pilfered board up and ponder the next stage of my exploration when suddenly a security guard exclaims "Hey! You!". We engage in twerk turn based combat while a cheering crowd forms as the battle progresses. Upon its conclusion, the security guard fades into nothingness and I gain 69 exp. The crowd dissipates as if nothing happened...
7.) "Attention shoppers. Sale going on at: Chromatic Fragrance". A noticeable amount of people alter their directions in response to the announcement. I follow the flow of people up stairs to the smell goods store where I am bombarded by so much perfume I begin to smell color...
8.) I eat a pumpkin candle...
9.) I eat several candles...
10.) While sitting on the bench of a rest area that is garnished in faux greenery, I listen to the trickle of a nearby fountain as I digest my wax based confectioneries. A mother and daughter holding hands catch my attention. The daughter stops in front of a window display and squeals "MoMmY!! i WaN' dAt!!1" and is subsequently knocked the %$&* out. The mother drags her limp body along as I nod approvingly...
11.) A shoe shiner calls to me. "Hey kid! Lemme polish them cloppers! Hop onto this 'ere seat so we can get started!". I sit in the chair. "We got The Vermillion Special, The Midnight Massage (where I really give 'em the business for that good ol' fashioned sheen) or, your classic Spit Rub" I explain that I am wearing sneakers and am promptly ejected via lever pull. "Come back when you got the proper equipment!" ...
12.) While continuing my journey through the mall, my progress is halted by, what I can only describe as, a summer fashion display for those that are uniquely endowed. I'm captivated and transfixed. Bewildered and boggled. After imaginings of matrimony, I realize I'm not the only one standing in a stupor. I am surrounded by others who had gotten caught in the spell.
"I'M NOT LIKE YOU! WE DON'T SHARE THIS!" and then I ran...
13.) In my effort to flee the firmly entrenched mindpalaced mannequin, I accidently collide with a trio of leather jacket sporting hair slicked mall greasers. "Ay, woah, yo, ay, yo, woah, ay. What do we have here boys? Looks like this guy don't know where he's goin'. You know what we do to ignorant mall goers?", "We teach 'em a lesson!" "Yeah, we edjucate 'em!". I part ways with the subverted stereotypes with an increased understanding of the mall layout...
14.) The floor disappears from beneath my feet. I slide down a chute and land in a chair in a dimly lit room with a screen in front of me. The room lights up and a message plays. "Welcome! You have been randomly selected! Please select your preference!" two images of a perplexed portly woman wearing different shirts is shown. I tap the 2nd image. "Please select an option!" the words: Cherry, Red, and Dirt are shown. I select Cherry. "Thank you! Please enjoy our complimentary cherry scented sleep gas!"...
15.) When I come to, I find the door to the room is open. Stumbling out into a maintenance corridor, I accidentally trip on a bundle of cords. ZAP! POP! A whirring that could be previously heard comes to a stop. "I'm sure that's fine." . . . As I make my way down the corridor, the sound of approaching footsteps gives me pause. I use my skill of being boring to blend into my surroundings and remain unseen as they pass by...
16.) Exiting through the door leading back to the mall fills me with elation. With a newfound pep in my step, I click my heels together and merrily bounce onwards. A disheveled homeless man shuffles towards the direction I'm coming from. He looks up at me and I give him a hearty wave as I pass him. "Reptaliems ferm da Ice Wall puttin' homophibians inmabutt. Dudn't mean imgay, Uruguay. Hey, hey, where you go?". Just keep walking, just keep walking...
17.) One escalator ride later, I see the skateboard I left behind. "Attention shoppers. Krusty's Sock Stop has 1 Thicc Mannequin dakimakura left in stock. This offer ends arbitrarily in 2 minutes.". An otaku riding a segway and I exchange glares. It's on! I peel out kicking as fast as I can but the otaku is slowly gaining. I narrowly dodge an old but the otaku pathetically crashes into them. I hear a "REEE" in the distance as I make it with seconds to spare...
18.) "Crap! This is the wrong store! Sensei is gonna be disappointed in me." It's an educational sciency store for nerds. I occupy myself with a plasma ball. As my hair starts to stand up I look over and see that the cashier is a raptor man in a suit petting a frog. "WE CONTROL EVERYTHING." I slowly back out of the store...
19.) I turn around and am awestruck by the most captivating individual. In center view of the arcade , illuminated by spotlight, stands someone I'd simp for. I find myself drift towards them as they work the arcade stick like a guru. They smile at me. "Duh, bluh, ne-fuff err... Hi!" they giggle. I must be dreaming...
20.) Me and my newfound dream date skate down the spiraling back alley stage of one of the arcades, passing by fake windowsills with potted plants and the occasional break dancer on a large piece of cardboard. I do a Flip Spin (I don't know what this is but it sounds legit)...
21.) We exit the back alley stage, back into the mall, next to an autonomous cafe, in one of the malls many food courts. The upper half of a robotic soda jerk glides back and forth along a rail behind the heavily populated semicircle bar. We pull up to a free space and are immediately addressed. "Salutations GigaNut94, The usual? Ah, I see you are accompanied by PROFILE NOT FOUND! Sending neurolink registration. ERROR! BRAIN NOT FOUND." We opt to hydrate at a nearby water fountain...
22.) "So, you haven't signed up yet huh?"."I don't like strangers having a profile on me."."Is there something you're trying to hide?!". "You're crowdin' my shniz, I think we should go our separate ways."."Mah! Mi amor!" I walk away, securing my life of anonymity...
23.) I focus my frustrations from my trials and tribulations out on my wallet by going on a shopping spree. I purchase shineable shoes, a dapper grey suit, a boaters hat with red ribbon, and a BBL to increase my attack power...
24.) The euphoria of spending cash starts to wane and thoughts of my dream date spark in my mind while perusing a roller blade aisle. Maybe I should of conceded and signed up with the malls' user program, but I can't shake this feeling of sinister intent...
25.) I sit and rest on one of the mall's many benches. Reflecting on my choices, a fellow shopper approaches me "Aw man, I know that look! It's buyer's remorse! I bought this one video game that claimed to be 5000 games in 1. It was a scam, but I learned from the experience." I'm inspired by their words and make a vow not to suck...
26.) It's time to get organized! I gotta come up with a plan to get my dream date back and, what's the deal with this mall? HMM! I know just what to do...
27.) Leisurely skating to my destination, I become entwined in a soliciting mascot's scheme. "Yo, it's Teddy P. ! I bet you can't skate better then me!"...
28.) [TESTING] "You're on!". We go move for move within the allotted vicinity. I obtain a collectable... we recognize each other's strengths for a moment as we do
[CHECKPOINTx11] this is a fun hobby thing i created for myself.
What an awesome idea for a collab. :D
All of these were great, the background mall sounds and subtle bustle doesn't get in the way either, just adds to the mood, and sometimes is so subtle I wonder there actually is something there or if it's just in my head; the mall theme messing me, inner voices playing out the scenario that these songs all so perfectly correlate too...
Nice work y'all. And license terms that allow malls to actually play this would they want to, would work pretty well for real!
-cd-
you guys rock
RetroCarrot responds:
Thanks, man!!
Charlmot responds:
No you