We've all felt like this about something...
Very telling. The name indicates that she is a female, yet, the feeling of lost control and forgetfullness sounds a lot like a guy when he jerks one off. So we either have a boy with a girl's name. A girl who likes to masterbate as much as guys and is ashamed... OR she is a female with a male sexual organ. But no matter what she MIGHT be, the fact remains that she is confused about what she is doing. Parents tell us it's wrong. Well, if you're doing it all the time in place of a relationship with another person, then yes, that's wrong. But we ALL have those guilty feelings afterward. Some more than others. It's caused by the sudden stopage of endorfine and adreniline release during sexual arousal. Very simple, VERY natural.