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Rolly Show Episode 2 - Battle of the Magical Muffin and Cupcake

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Rolly is granted some magical powers by Muffin and Lakunga becomes concerned with the magical pastries popping up around town. An epic battle ensues.


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i see you're trying to promote your series as well get money with it, criticism is a must for that, here is my honest feedback i hope it helps: at first i thought you were aiming for a younger audience like preteens or even kids, the animation style is like regular show, aqua teen hunger force, a little of family guy too, then i read on the tags "adult swim", got a little surprised it was supposed to be an adult cartoon, the heaviest thing i saw on this was the muffin saying "what the hell?". The animation and visual is kinda looking like those classic shows, but surely doesn't have the interesting elements we have on them, the colors, the backgrounds, the objects, everything feel so plain and quite frankly lifeless.
The production is good, good audio and ting, but i missed some music on the fight scenes, and the music that plays sometimes on this ep is a little too simple it's like those simple music we would listen on some youtube tutorials or some kind of commerical on tv.
The characters design are another weakness on the show, rolly is the main character, he looks like a ball with sneakers (i even made fun of it "standard american kid haha") but it just looks plain like almost everything on the show (even the sneakers, just plain white sneakers), maybe you tried to make him look cute like meatwad or kirby but sorry it didn't work. The most interesting character design is the orange eye with hair, it did remind me a little of frylock and monster eye from yugioh. The weasel looks like it came directly from a random cheap kids show, even the fox of dora the explorer looks like a villain more interesting than him
the characters name are interesting as their designs "weasel", "muffin", "cupcake", "rolly" why rolly? because he looks like a ball and a ball can roll?
The jokes are simple too, rolly procrastinating while the muffin wants to take care of the serious business, muffin taking seriously then rolly hears "cheeseburgers", those kind of jokes were already used many times before and used better like in spongebob patrick reading the "do not cross" as "free ice cream" for example. The evil spellcasters eating popcorn, those kind of jokes won't be enough to carry a comedy show on
There are so many plain and simple things on the show some people may think the author has some creativity problems or aphantasia or something
The most positive features on this are: it's an animation, you can do animations, the production is good, both audio and video, nothing like "wooow so interesting, nice music, nice effects and ting" but it's good, the voice action is doing good too and you look like a dude who have the guts to work, doing an animated series, look for the promotion of it, i know how it's like, respect for that

ChickenSlupree responds:

Thanks for feedback. Very detailed.

I put adult swim in the tags because we're going for that kind of feel for the series overall. Every episode won't be filled with explicit language, but there will be some.

Agree that some of the background and objects feel a bit bland, I'm looking into finding someone to freelance that kind of stuff for me so I can focus more on characters. If we ever do get to a point of making money from the series. That will be where some of it goes.

The characters, I think will grow on people as the series continues.

Did you enjoy the spellcasters eating popcorn?

Thanks for watching!

Rolly really needs a goal, some drive, without one there is no plot it just becomes a series of random unconnected events and there’s no way to track where the story ends or how far he’s gotten.

It seems like everyone but him has one which makes him seem more like a background character really.

Another really important piece of writing advice is to give the main character some internal conflict.
Is there something about his life that he doesn’t like? Does he have any fears? Will achieving his goal solve this internal conflict?

Without an internal conflict the character seems like
their achieving their goal for no real reason at all.

Hope this helps.

ChickenSlupree responds:

Thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate it, and I'm taking it to heart.

But, I would say give it a little time. We're only 2 episodes in. I do have plans for all the characters to develop and grow into their own personality. (including Rolly)

Stay tuned, and thanks for watching!

EPISODE 2! :D

ChickenSlupree responds:

Glad you enjoyed it!

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