So, I guess that's an interesting perspective you have there, so thanks for that.

But perhaps its more of a case of that in your life experience of doing stuff, and motives, you experience it as this endorphin kick thing. But, for my personally, art isn't about endorphin kicks. Its something u just gotta do, otherwise u can;t live with yourself... or at least in my personal experience as myself.

If I want/need an endorphin kick, I can just go do a T5 Legendary Raid in Pokemon Go during Raid Hour w my neighbors & friends, or play Community Day n catch Shiny Pokemon.

I'm trained OLD SCHOOL from the 20th century, and I learned to animate the way Disney Animators did ON PAPER, which was how I did it for several years. When u animate TRADITIONALLY on PAPER with PENCILS u constantly NEED TO, and ARE REQUIRED TO, do a Pencil Test which was shot on a VHS Penciltest machine. N this could be done dozens upon dozens of time.

I was trained FOR QUALITY and NOT QUANTITY because in the 90s it was an Animation Renaissance. I went to college for all the reasons an aspiring artist back then was supposed to do, but when I graduated in 2001 EVERYTHING GOT OUTSOURCED and they would ONLY HIRE MEN, and they would NOT hire you if you had skills better than themselves because they FEARED u would take their jobs. There were VERY NASTY THINGS SAID TO ME, and even Disney would harass me (long screwed up story) to work for them FOR NOTHING and legally sign over ALL OF MIGHT RIGHTS TO THEM, but I refused to do that. I was told that the reason I wouldn't get hired was because they wanted to watch porn at work, and having me THERE would make them "feel uncomfortable" (because they were all men). This was told to me repeatedly, because I knew folks whom worked in the big animation studios in Burbank back then, as well as NYC, and many other studios everywhere long before everything got outsourced overseas.

Honestly, I just post the videos, and there's a process of review, and I'm doing so many other things simultaneously. I have a bad spine, and I don't have a job. I just spent nearly a month visiting with my parents down South, and just before THAT I did Hoenn Tour/Go [Pokemon Go] Tour which was exhausting & BELOW FREEZING, so I have no idea what happened once I posted my video.
So, there's no motives of endorphins on my part.

Also my shortfilm, which won a lot of award at so many Film festivals that my email kept getting flooded for over a year for requests to screen my film became such a nuisance, that it was like hoards of scouts hounding me on social media, and due to contract stuff w the festivals, I couldn't submit my film to FilmHUB until the end of the year.... then THAT was a load of work, plus I had to help my filmmaker friends with THEIR film stuff on IMDb since I had to learn ALL OF THAT, and since I knew it by then I had to help out, since I'm too nice, n most people r lazy, and want INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

I don't care about whether people like it or not. I usually get hate comments, trolls, and bullying children whom pretend they are adults and publish very badly drawn porn on their profiles, and demand I like EVERY SINGLE sick twisted porn pic as tho they're SO ORIGINAL, and how dare I NOT WORSHIP THEM??? because libido and FAME is ALL that matters... so whatever.

My art has nothing to do with the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others, and even if people hate it, that doesn't mean I must discontinue making my art.

I'm NOT interested in fame, fortune, or praise. Because if that's what I wanted, I would just be a liar and ONLY making art to appease others, while lying and being a fraud not just to them but myself.

If people don't respect me, then I can't make them. If people don't love me, I can't force them to. And even if you COULD force people to do that it would NOT be because they love or respect you, its because YOU FORCED THEM TO. Then it wouldn't be genuine, and I have no interested in that.

You don't seem to be trying to give me guff, so I hope I'm not coming off like I'm biting ur head off. But fame is NOT everything. I was pretty famous in the 2000s and I NEVER want to go through THAT HELL ever again. The kinds of leaches, and stalkers, and terrorists, and horribly bad stuff done to me, my daughter, my husband, my neighbors, and even my computers.

Girls (plural) demanding attention 24/7 while holding themselves hostage that if u DON'T DO IT they will suicide. And VERY CREEPY MEN telling me WHAT THEY WANT TO DO TO ME just because they liked my art, or my photography, or the look of my face, hands, or breasts. Or people that are well established in the industry but want me to be their side piece, and tell me elaborate stories about past lives, and fate & destiny (not just 1 guy, but its like a thing many do, like some pick-up-line thing they think THEY INVENTED) EVEN THO I AM MARRIED.

The point of doing art is TO DO IT.
The point of listening to music is to do it. You don;t just play the song and then skip all the way to the ending.
The point of doing yoga, or meditation, or whatever is NOT getting some other thing out of it, its to do it. You don't do yoga or meditation JUST because u want some benefit.
YOU JUST DO IT.

Honestly, the bulk of my time lately, if its not my local Pokemon Go Community which I get so much value out of, it usually my research & philosophy.

I don't want to be stuck in this life, in this world, but I'm trapped here. We're ALL TRAPPED HERE, and it wants u to suffer, and farm your suffering, like The Matrix, or Plato's cave. N even if u r lucky enough to finally die for an instant, it shoves you back into this prison of so many layers of deception.

So, I only have half of my life left to live, and this time I want to actually try to find the exit out, so I don't have to be reborn again into this THING. I think I was VERY CLOSE to actually getting out of this prison the last time, and even if whatever I have to contribute to the other researcher philosophers helps others after me, then so be it. But I REALLY DO NOT EVER WANT TO BE REBORN because THIS IS NOT BASE REALITY.
-and I SAW IT. (even the math shows it)

This is NOT the real world, and its INSANE on the daily, now.

Anyways, I'm sorry if I come off the wrong way. I'm NOT angry with you. And, I'm sorry if I rubbed u the wrong way.

You can say whatever u wish. I'm NOT Anti-Free Speech, so I respect your free will.

My impression is that u meant well from your perspectives, so I thank you for taking the time to express it. And I do appreciate the gesture.

The music was gifted to me by the creator. He's friends with me on Twitter.