Newgrounds Background Image Theme

Our goal is for Newgrounds to be ad free for everyone! Become a Supporter today and help make this dream a reality!

Ludicrous Text Adventures: Worthless Dirt Boys

Share Collapse

Author Comments

Your teen baseball team, the Worthless Dirt Boys, has lost to America’s Perfect Boys every year since 1922. Can you give your underdogs a fighting chance with steroids, guns, and blood magic? Explore 5+ endings, branching romance, ludicrous training exercises, and more in this absurdly funny narrative RPG.


  • 25,000+ word underdog story about the worst youth baseball team in the world and their coach (that's you!) who'll do anything to win
  • 20+ bizarre training activities to whip your team into shape, from chugging irradiated water to summoning the god of stale pudding
  • 10+ characters to train and romance, ranging from a scarecrow covered with baseball gloves to Satan himself
  • This game respects your time! Make a choice you don’t like? Travel back in time and make a different one
  • 5+ bonkers endings based on how you approach your training and love life
  • FREE. Not really a feature, but yeah. Worth mentioning



9/14/2021: fixed issues with romance flags on the Kylie path.


Log in / sign up to vote & review!

Newgrounds accounts are free and registered users see fewer ads!