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Amsterdam Sucks - The Train Trouble

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NS stands for Nutty Stupidways.

My Website: www.polygoncartoons.com
My Twitter: https://twitter.com/PolygonCartoons
My Amino: StorytimeWithPoly
My Newgrounds: https://polygoncartoons.newgrounds.com

Music - Simplify the Chaos by Ionics

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This is kinda...bad?
Just not to be a dick, but the actual story isn't very interesting, definitely not for the odd1sout storytelling kinda format. At the very least you could've made it more fun and engaging with some jokes and quips, but you just told the story in a very standard fashion. Also speaking of theodd1sout, I think it'd be way more interesting to have your own identity instead of trying to loosely mimic James' video style.

As for the actual art, I can't really say much positive about it either. The linework is all extremely shabby and it doesn't even seem like a stylistic choice, just lazy and rushed. You also leave a ton of empty space in the frame when your character is onscreen, try making it bigger or making a new design that's from the waist up.

Also as one last suggestion, adjust the music ever so slightly, it's just a tad too loud and cancels out the voice at some points. Hope this helps, been a while since it was submitted and I'd like to see you succeed.

Great! Looking forward to seeing more of this series!

Credits & Info

Views
354
Faves:
1
Votes
84
Score
2.44 / 5.00

Uploaded
May 6, 2018
4:36 PM EDT
Genre
Comedy - Original
Tags