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Participation 5 Points

You tried, here's a sticker.

Fatty 50 Points

Gain more max health than any other stat, win the game.

Killer 50 Points

Gain more attack than any other stat, win the game.

Leprechaun 50 Points

Gain more luck than any other stat, win the game.

Balanced 100 Points

Win the game with equal attack and luck. Both must be higher than max health - 20.

Author Comments

If you try to play this game with a track-pad instead of a mouse, you're going to have a bad time.


Goblins and gnomes!
Goblins and gnomes!

Both are super-brilliant,
but you would never know!

Every thing the seem to make is faulty or explooo-ooodes!

Perfecting imperfection!
Goblins and gnomes!

This is a game where you play as “U”, a demented little creature that resembles a molar. U must find all 5 of the things to escape the dungeon. Along the way U will encounter enemies with faces to eat and random objects with which U might kill itself.

How to Play
Click the tiles to reveal them and make stuff happen. Find all 5 of the things to win the game.

Fun Things
When U comes across a random object you will be given 4 options on what to do with it. U cannot leave the object alone. Each choice has 2 outcomes: a best result and a worst result and generates a random number each time (called an evil dice roll). U has a luck stat which is signified by the 4 leaf clover. If the luck stat is higher than the evil dice roll the U gets the best result, lower and U gets the worst result.

Tip: Here's The cheat sheet:


Really straightforward, just click the enemy to attack. How much damage is done per click is determined by the attack stat which is signified by the bloody knife. Be careful though because if you miss the enemy will usually get a counter attack which is usually more powerful than its normal attack which charges up over time.

Tip: Naybur won’t attack unless you miss. Don’t miss Naybur.

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Hell yes!
Actually really fun.

The overhaul essentially rendered the older (roughly before Mar/27 ) reviews useless...I actually prefer the older version.

This also leaves me a little empty handed (for a review), sure the older version was largely luck based, but after getting used to enemy patterns I did managed HP and ATK endings (Still trying Luck and Balanced, then the update catch up.)

Right now, the type of enemies where you have a high chance of getting hurt or instant death increased. I'm not too inclined to finish after a few deaths from battles. From the cheat sheet I also see the rewards from fun-thing have been significantly tuned down.

I dunno...maybe this version will get better feedbacks in the long run.

Seems heavily inspired by Undertale. The gameplay is kind of sloppy, but the graphics make up for a lot. I like the theme, the weirdness, and the quirky-ness. Someone else posted a rather critical and distracted "review" to which the Author replied "lol". So...I just know that if it were me, it would actually hurt my feelings pretty badly to read something like that.

I can tell a ton of effort and blood and sweat went into this project. It just doesn't feel "tight". Then we have the re-submitted version, "The" D.O.E.S.

I guess it's time for me to make Square Millionaire: Redux, if this can fly.

Hi people, a tip to win this game is to expand your computer screen to reasonable size using ctrl + on the keyboard to make objects easier to click. With fast clicking, good reaction time and knowing the enemy should help you win by a higher margin. By the way, watch out for the good green ghost, they could tell a lot about regions where the "thing" is. Also the author posted an item cheat list in the text box.

"Where did you get that muffin?"
"Muffin button."

Credits & Info

3.64 / 5.00

Dec 22, 2014
7:22 PM EST