LOL!
(says a smut fanfiction writer)

I wonder how many people ur going to piss off if not all ready.

You've got 2 different drawing styles going on here - one with dark lines, and one without. If you wanna take that approach, embellish it some.

On audio, if you can't impersonate an old man's voice any better... that's... okay.
The ideas are there, but they need polishing.

I loved a lot of things about it however would personally recommend a little more detail in the animation

don't get it