Black haired man is a workaholic.
This movie is more of an experiment than a real movie, keep that in mind. I haven't made up a real story, just made it up on the spot. This is also my first official flash, so think of that when you want to write a review!
I was planning to do some voice acting, but unfortunaly, my microphone broke that day! :'c So please, no mean comments about voice acting? :D
Thanks, hehe. Lets say Gordon Freeman voice-acted.
Also, thanks to Kevin MacLeod for the music. [ http://incompetech.com/m/
c/royalty-free/ ] that is.
Honest review
Not bad for a first flash. There are some scenes that flash some potential. If u keep it up think you will do just fine later on. Just work on the animation a bit and think it will work out for you. Also best try not to rush things. Take your time on there is really no timeline for these things. Keep tryin you got this.
Thanks, I'll keep it in mind! ^^
Reasonable first submission
First things first - Congratulations on your first flash! It takes a lot of balls to jump into flash like this, but, of course first pieces are never perfect.
Here's the reviewer's dilemma: review a masterpiece flash, and you're just going to be nitpicking. Review a beginner flash, and you'll just be pointing out the obvious. Shoot me, but I'll be pointing out the obvious - but I'll be doing more of a bread and butter review; going through all the different elements of the flash.
Artwork - Alright, the art IS there. But the art is something I'd expect from a beginner flash: you've used other tools to represent things you want because of your lack of skill in some areas. I'm talking about the entire opening scene (minus potplant) along with the clock/alarm and the backgrounds. As you develop your art style and skill, you should be trying to expand yourself to more than just characters (more on them in a sec), and attempt to draw the scenery yourself so that you have a consistent art style.
- Character Art: There's potential here. At least these were drawn by you, and not using preset flash shapes and effects. But you can tell a beginner flash from anything else by the use of the classic flash brushes and fill bucket colours. A quick shading never hurt anyone (so long as it's not with gradient effect XD).
Animation - Same with artwork: you've used tools apart from your own skill to be able to represent what you've wanted to: morph effects, transition effects (I'm no animator, I don't know the technical terms). But I know that so long as you keep working on frame-by-frame, or by using these tools to achieve smoother results, you'll soon find ways to better animate the stuff you need to.
Music/Sound - Some very good choices in music! The opening music really set the mood. But, some of the later music was awkwardly tacked on, and didn't feel like it was adding anything to the piece. On a side note, the sound effects were appropriate, if anything.
Story/Concept - Sure, this is a rushed story, I understand that. But you'll have to be working on how to better represent and integrate the story or concept in the piece. I don't really know how you can do this, but the audience should be able to draw the concept straight from the piece itself, without needing to consult a tacked on conclusion. The roles of both characters were instantly created in the opening moments, and these characters fitted their moulds straight to the end, so was the "conclusion" really necessary?
Overall:
Artwork (1/2) - Expand your style: From character art to more complexity, and from static backgrounds to what you use with your characters.
Animation (1/2) - I can't say anything, but keep working, and try to stay away from flash's default effects.
Music (1/2) - Okay, I was just a bit nitpicky there, but I can just hear the difference between well integrated music and tacked on music. Music selection should be a rigorous task.
Story/Concept (0/2) - Whether you develop a story or a concept, the underlying message should come through the piece, rather than a coda.
With one extra point for a first flash... 4/10
Hey, shoot me. Take on board what I've said, and you can only get better from here.
Hey thanks, this really helps me out. I shall keep this in mind when making my new animations. I shall rush it less and make up a good story. Also, I'll use more frame-by-frame drawing, instead of motion tweens. [that's the term, hehe.] The music was indeed pretty hard, gotta work on that some more...
Hey
A very good beginner animation, hope to see more of them soon, and you have to teach me how to make those xD
Why thank you :D
Eh.....
The animation wasn't too bad. Although, the drawings had no unique style to them, they looked too plain and uninteresting. I was kind of confused on what was going on as well.
Also, I'd say add some more detail to your animation, makes it more interesting to watch.
You dont need voices in this, but for the way you made it played out it'd have been easier to understand.
It wasn't BAD though, just not that good. I do have a feeling you'll get better as you make more though, goodluck!
Ah yes. Well it WAS more of an experiment ^^ Still thanks for your review! Honestly... this one was a bit rushed ;)