It looks great, I'm an aspiring artist and thought I'd start here, I think it'd be cool to do a colab, I could help with the script, let me know, I know I'm 8 years tardy but still, I think this has potential!
Author Comments
This is the redo of my original effort, as per some requests, I did what I could.
Any new suggestion will be used on part two.
I appreciate all the input I had for the first one.
So basically, the story goes that some kind of Lovecraft themed... so and so.... awakens the dead,
for the purposes as explained in other Lovecraft themed stories....
I am going to do my best to continue this as a series and hopefully get better as I go, since this is my first effort, any help would be appreciated (as little as making suggestions is great and as much as submitting voice talent or any other would be awesome....)
Enjoy!
Not Bad - space for improvement though
I liked the way the story was told try to deepen it more e.g. with flicks of flashbacks of what happened while the characters speak about the past (just sole pictures would do along with proper SFX) thus giving the viewer the opportunity to follow the story even if they can't understand a word as well as stabilizing the statements of the characters (since what the corpse lady had to say feeled a bit rushed and odd). The overall design was pretty good for a starter however work on your presentation as well as voiceacting, characters sounded stiff as corpses
artblack01 responds:
Considering it's just the intro and it's not about the old man I didn't want to give away too much or put too much into such an insignificant part of the story.... one of the important figures is the guy in the background who went into the Mausoleum.