i've done something similar

this isn't your own work, i've read MAR, and all the chapters that are out of MAR Omega, the flash is very simple, and i like how you cut up the pages so that they're readable.

constructive critisism time! let the reader know that it's read right to left and also make it scrollable using the arrow keys, also maybe a little ambient music in the background too, but nothing distracting

this is good

but if it was animated or interactive or something it would be perfect for newgrounds really but this should be on deviantart or something
did you draw all this yourself?
it's pretty good full of humour and leaves you wanting more