Overall bland
This does not only look like a lame imitation of Scribbler (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/vie w/178020), the music doesn't fit at all, the shots are poorly chosen, and last and usually least for me, the animation is poor.
Having rushed it is little to no excuse. If you are doing your first works with flash you shouldn't try to rush it unless there's a heavy reason to do so.
Keep trying, and maybe, just maybe, some day you will be a great animator like Doki. Until then, try to be a bit more original and creative.