Endless Dream: Episode 4

Share Collapse

Author Comments

This episode ends the "Endless Dream" series.
Enjoy ;D

Log in / sign up to vote & review!

Newgrounds accounts are free and registered users see fewer ads!

Moving on.

The previous reviewer's words ring true as far as plot goes, but your art skills get better and better. What you need...is still....sound....

Normally, I *like* things like this...

But this is rediculous. I know that you were trying to capture some sense of the profound by asking open-ended questions, and leaving things ambiguous, but after watching the whole thing, it seemed about as useful and enlightening as pondering a turd. I don't care if you fill in all the gaps for a viewer, but I didn't get the sense that *you* had any clear idea of the message you were trying to convey.

I'm trying not to just knock you- it's obvious you put a lot of time in on this, and you should be proud of the fact that you put forth the effort to do it at all, but for god's sake, man- learn to organize your thoughts before you just start tossing in random elements. Randomness is fine for 10 second cartoons involving fart jokes and violence, but it appears that you were aiming for some sort of philosophical goal. Here's a tip for you- philosophy consists of logical steps leading from primary axioms to reasoned conclusions, and when symbolism is included, it needs to be based on something.

Let me give an example plot where you might have tied the thing together-

Have the guy walking in the field- fine.

He decides to follow the direction of the blue sky because it is what he knows- trite, but good enough.

When he meets the hooded figure, it shows him the girl he thinks is dead. Okay, so far you're still sort of on track. A dead guy might see a dead girl, no problem- now death is brought into the story as a clue.

Now, you need a changeover of some sort- you can't just jump to a kid wearing headphones and call him a concience. (Like Jimminy Cricket?- or did you use the wrong word for the subconcious?) Maybe he jumps on a spirit bicycle and rides towards a town he sees on the horizion. Or eats some funny mushrooms and starts tripping. Whatever.

Then when you get to the kid with the headphones and he gives the play-by-play of what is going on, it's fine that the guy is dead. It's fine that there is a rabbit- but there needs to be a reason for the rabbit, see? Maybe he died in a car wreck because he swerved to avoid a bunny, and now that bunny is a psychopomp- that would sort of make sense.

The idea of the "nightmare" is also okay, but what in the hell does it have to do with timing? Should be something related to telling the pink rabbit to shove off so he doesn't have to acknowledge being dead, if you ask me. And what does the ship have to do with anything?

All right, so now you've established a choice for the guy to make- follow the bunny and get back to reality, or ignore the fuzzy little beast and watch the dream get stale and start to fall apart on him, turning into a nightmare. Show him making the choice. I'm guessing, but have no way to tell, that he chose to ignore the rabbit and missed the tea-party, landing him in a nightmare.

So, now he feels bad, and comes to a crisis point. Maybe he goes a little nuts, and sits down to bang his head on a rock while the memories slowly start to come back. Hell, if you really just want a boat (and how did it turn into a floating castle instead of a boat, anyhow?) maybe his flashes of memory could form themselves into one somehow. Because... I don't know, he likes fishing?

Then it needs to end. You can toss a cliffhanger on it, but it still has to end. In the above senario, maybe the end is a still picture of the car wrapped around a tree and a bunny huddling on the side of the road and the guy draped over the steering wheel. You do that, and it could indirectly explain a lot and tie up some loose ends. If you want it to represent a new beginning, fine- but he's dead, you already said that. So maybe Jesus comes down in an ice-cream truck and gives him a ride to heaven, or Thor grabs him by the hair and drags him to Valhalla for a beer. Whatever you want, but a rock floating towards a light means nothing.

See what I'm saying? I could be way off the mark from what you intended, but there's no way to know- because you didn't communicate enough.

Hope the feedback helps. Maybe make an outline first next time. You've got some potential- use it.


Dude, WTF happened? Your last one was like, YEAH I GOTTA GET INTO THAT STUPID PINK WORLD WITH THAT STUPID PINK RABBIT! Now it's already way past that, and apparently he's already been through THARANTOS' NIGHTMARE...MARE...MARE... and now he's riding a floating island back to a life where he's freakin' DEAD ALREADY? Did you forget that part or something? HE WAS DEAD! You said he died in a car accident! How could he go back! JEEZ! You are seriously messed up in the head. Also, you couldn't really animate at all. The entire flash was compromised of Flash Pro effects. About a tenth of it was actual animation.



It's a real shame...

When I first encountered this animation, it really caught my eye. I don't typically get involved with workss in which the art and animation is of such(no offense) low quality.

But something about this one got to me, and drew my genuine interest.

However, you seemd to just rap it all up as fast as possible. The overall story turned out to not be as complete as I thought it would be, and the ending left me wanting more.

The only reason I am granting this a "6", is because of the hope that the beginnig of this inspired that it would be more that just the usual; that it would be something differen't.

You have potential; good luck with your future works.

Credits & Info

3.82 / 5.00

Aug 22, 2006
4:05 PM EDT
More Movies