This will nab the 18-34 young male demo
The most important thing to work on would be the detail of the art. Especially in concerns to the panty-views on the 2 women, right now they look like diapers. Disregard any negative reviews concerning taste or your psychological well-being. I encourage you to develope this idea. As far as sound goes, I think you should only add sounds that the shooter can hear, such as the shuffling of his bag and the gun discharges, but no sound from bullet impacts or screams (because they're too far away). This flash has guts, and I mean that as a double entendre. I like how it tosses the viewer right into the scene with no explanations or reasons.