Keep it up.
We all know that this isn't your best work. We all know you can do better. Thats why I hope you can keep working on it and make it longer. You might find it will write itself.
I want you to know what i thought. What I think is that if you really put your mind to it you can get way better. I think that if you work on your sound levels you'll have a way easier time getiin sound effect that don't over do it on our speakers.
I have not watched you other stuff so it may be way better I'm just basing this reveiw on what I have seen so far. Good work and I hope maybe this can expand on itself and you can bring it to the next level.