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Some little story.

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Some little story. 2023-08-11 08:52:06


I wrote this at one in the morning. The ending is shit.


A 54 year old ex-police officer has been whittled down to a alcoholic misanthrope after seeing and confronting the darkest depths of depravity the world has ever seen. In a cafe the man frequents, he meets a young woman who strikes up a conversation with him after seeing him sit alone for weeks. The two begin a unlikely friendship and begin meeting up for coffee and other activities. She introduces him to the guitar, which he becomes enamoured with and begins playing songs he heard when he was just a boy. Seeing her smile because of something he had done gives a warm feeling that he hasn't felt since he met his wife at a bar when he was 16. He begins to get good at the guitar and starts playing in bars, much to the woman's excitement at seeing him succeed in something he truly loves. During one night while he was playing at a club, his friend goes outside for a smoke and is violently raped and beaten. When the crowd applauds him, he notices that she is not there. Leaving in a hurry to find her, he rushes out the back door into the alleyway, where he finds her naked and beaten near to the death. He cradles her in his arms and asks her who done this. She tells him that she doesn't want him to avenge her, just to stay with her until the pain goes away. She dies in his arms. During her funeral, he says to himself quietly, that he shouldn't expect anything less from people, and that people like her are just wolves in sheep's clothing and that he should've never have gotten so attached. When he gets home, he decides to make everyone pay for being such foul wastes of space. He takes his service revolver and takes the train to the city centre. He opens fire on a group of punks who he believes perfectly encapsulates his view of the youth. He kills one of them and injures another. He then turns to the salary men, killing 2. A police officer shoots him after he runs out of ammo in his revolver. He drops to the floor, thinking about her and how she made him gain faith in humanity. He begins to tear up as he realizes that he let her down in the worst way possible, though he isn't able to finish that thought as a 9 millimetre punches through the back of his head and out the top of his right eye socket, killing him instantly.


breaking bad is so good, I've become a meth lord during my hiatus.

click on the picture to buy sum sweet crystal

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Response to Some little story. 2023-09-03 22:04:27


I like this the ending as you say not bad but would love to see more


~X~


~X~ (FOLLOW-ME)

[] The Top Reviewer Since 2002 [] COMIC >> WAYNES WORLD

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Response to Some little story. 2023-09-04 20:41:05


At 9/3/23 10:04 PM, XwaynecoltX wrote: I like this the ending as you say not bad but would love to see more

~X~


I would have avenged her as a lone star.,..


Love Attacts Like a an Invivisible God in the Snow. The Devil always looses so presevire until the morning star arises in your own heart.

Response to Some little story. 2023-09-11 12:16:37


At 9/4/23 08:41 PM, DTstrick9AtakCAT wrote:
At 9/3/23 10:04 PM, XwaynecoltX wrote: I like this the ending as you say not bad but would love to see more

~X~
I would have avenged her as a lone star.,..


I thought about having him avenge her, but I thought that it would be more tragic for him to give in to the hate and take it out on random people in a drunken stupor, instead of him acting like the Equalizer. I also think that that event would cause him lash out like that because there would probably be no way to find them. It was also a reference to the rape scene in No Longer Human.


breaking bad is so good, I've become a meth lord during my hiatus.

click on the picture to buy sum sweet crystal

BBS Signature