But as I reach the door, I feel someone grab my hand! And I turn to see a small woman, with long auburn-colored hair, standing there; and with a wry smile plastered onto her face: Kate! "Please wait.." she says "My friends were very rude, I tried to tell them to stop; but they're really... `energetic`(?)". I was still ever so mad and frustrated, she could've also been making fun of me and/or preparing me to be the butt of yet another joke... So I replied "Ah..."..in consideration of her apology as I am a softy and have been tricked many times just like this, because I always assumed I'd make a friend and was a fool.. "I'll make it up to you!" she adds before I could try to think of something rude to try to say "Let me buy you a drink?". I then smile like a idiot and reply "Alright, but I usually just come for water..", she laughs at me and reveals "Then we'll have to compromise!"... Wondering what she meant; I sat with Kate, and she typed in what we wanted; the glasses were beamed onto the counter, and mere soda was poured into them from the sprinkler-system above. And we had a fun time, talking about our jobs (of all things..). I told my future dear all about my adventures in landscaping, while she told me about her florist job; it.. there's a surprising amount of angry people that come in to raid floristries: I started to understand why Kate would drink.. It was also was a curious thing, that this was the only time in YEARS that a person would dare to speak to me so long, and while sitting so close! I was elated, happy and excited that this woman was staying here and listening to me; smiling at my jokes, and able to drink and breathe so close to me! Yes, this is a normal thing for most, but this was my first time! As she began a new story starting; "Then Ms. Rhoda came back, I was so very..", she's suddenly cut off by her friends "Kate!?" one yells, then gags at my scent.. "I was wonderin' why you were pissin' so long! What the hell are you doin'!? This guy smells like a landfill!!". I stood up, I wasn't able to take it; especially after such a delightful, and fun time.. I was going to leave, and possibly let Kate mend things with her friends for trying to be a nice person(?). But the small-woman stands up from her stool with a retort "Shanaynay! You shouldn't be so mean, he can't help how he smells and doesn't shave!". This stung, but nevertheless; this is also the first time I've been defended since grade school... "There's alot of people who look so much worse than even this revolting guy; but that's no reason to be nasty!" she continued, at this point; this whole thing seems like a act/elaborate prank to point out my flaws, though one of her friends tried to reply "But Kate, he's.." she suddenly spits up chunks of steak EVERYWHERE! "See?! He's KILLING Melonia!! Come OOON!" another of her friends exaggeratedly shrieked, as she held the... `rude woman` who couldn't stand me at all, apparently... And she adds "This guy's a walking pile of sceptic!". Kate sighed as her `sick` friend continues to wretch and gag... "Alright, alright..." she says in some annoyance. Then my future dear turns towards me "Sorry.." she says as she strangely held patted my right hip "I have to go, I'm ever so very sorry, sir." she apologized. I sighed.. and left as she goes back with her friends.. that was the closest I was to anything that SEEMED like it wasn't platonic... But upon putting my hand in mine pocket, I felt paper? Something I nobody used now days.. I took out the ancient object as I went outside, and looked at it: it was Kate's number?! I was ever so elated and was excited to call the small dear!

And so I did, when I got home... She was very excited when I called and she apologized on behalf of her friends.. Then she planned a date for us. Alost immediately we started going out whenever she hadn't a date already with those... `nice ladies`.. We always had fun when we went out, my heart still swells even now as I think back on how she stared at me when I spoke.. Yes, she made me very nervous though; as she merely smiled at me, while I was waving my hands around, looking everywhere; trying to get my story--my point across to her.. And would periodically catch her gaze: her eyes never left me, and she would always stare at me with a infatuated or rather, content stare... I'd quickly look away, unable to stand looking into her big hazel-eyes... ..My dear would also visit me at work, occasionally; though I got in trouble a few times for loitering on the job.. I'd also find where she worked and pretended to be interest in buying flowers, but dear Kate would utterly stop working to speak. Often only stopping when I noticed it was dark, or when a customer would come in... and... smell me...

But after this, we'd plan more time alone... Sounds too good to be true, right? Everything seems to be going smoothly? No, it wasn't a fairy-tale by any means: One time we went to a Christmas light exhibit, and we were having a fine time! We were joking, and talking about our troubles, as we and others are rode on the conveyer-path until "...So I told Sharon to stop buying e-blunts; because they use meth and bleach in the formula, now. But she cursed me out, saying: I was wrong, I didn't know what I was talking about in the very least!" she says "..and then she said that I sucked... And the poor thing's tooth fell out while she was yelling!" . We both laughed happily at this, though; Kate stopped way before I could force myself to.. (Those women belittled me EVERYTIME we crossed paths, I honestly tried to help it, but very well could not!) "That was stupid; why would someone think you can smoke BLEACH?? She didn't want her teef!" I replied as I laughed. And she replies "You were probably already expecting this, too; but she actually blamed it on you!" with a giggle, I laughed again (at her unintentional rhyme, and to keep from crying..) "So she sayin' I smell SO bad, that I'M makin' her rot?! Dayum, that girl nasty!!". I didn't notice back then, but the dear was watching the families surrounding us, who're also looking at the lights... "I guess.." she says softly.. then asks out of the blue: "If we had kids, do you think they'd stink??". I was scared by this question, she was bringing up a future together, already: the possibility of marriage and raising a family?! Even if I wasn't caught with my pants down.. I would curiously think how it would be like to have my own family, but would quickly erase all parental--fatherly feelings from my mind: I smell so horrible, it would ever so very much be a sin for me to cause any children to be born into the world! Their lives will be horrific, and they'd be treated like monsters and creatures! Back from the tangent; I replied to my sweet, dear Kate "I think they could, I smell pretty freakin' bad and junk... It would suck.. I mean: do you think it would?" I end up asking; instead of simply replying, what if she didn't mind? She looks up at me, her beautiful eyes seemed even more dewy than normal; either from her feelings or the icy air blowing into her huge, unshielded eyes... "No.. I.." she starts.. When we heard laughing, we both look around us to see kids jeering, or running for their lives. Their parents tried to act mature, but followed suit quickly: I had thought the cold air would hide it, but.. my body odor scared everybody away... The magical, Christmasy feeling was gone.. and again I was angered by the actions of the inconsiderate, yet very terrified people running from me... "Ah.." Kate says in disappointment "Then I guess we're alone.". I notice that we wouldn't bump into so many people now and reply "Yeah, so we got all this to ourselves!" with a laugh, and we hold hands as we continue our magical vacation..

To Be Continued..

Smells like love part3

What? That ended too well? What did you expect? Surely, no one can have me arrested for my scent! I could be there, just as well as those other people! But, it WAS quite.. disheartening to always have some kind of utterly ridiculous bigotry happen when me and Kate tried to date! (Ah... she means ever so very much to me, I'm speaking in rhymes, sometimes; as she does, as you can see..) There were many times I was not allowed on rides or into buildings, because of my smell, which ruined a few dates... Nevertheless, Kate would always try to make time.. Though, the year after that; something happened that would change our relationship forever.... 

It happened on this rainy day, when me and Kate were eating a delish pasta dinner, in her place.. I was very ravenous and didn't notice my sweet Kate's upset expression; rather.. I wanted to only see the (fake) smiles she'd give.. Until she lied "Nature calls.." and left the table.. I myself finished dinner and nearly came at her plate.. (Please forgive me: yardwork makes one VERY hungry..) But in looking across the table; I realized she wasn't back... normally; she'd be rather quick about it... So I get up to look for her, and noticed her head through a window!!? I rush out to see her facing the ground, and I grab her back onto her porch--out of the rain! "Kate!" I yelled "Girl, wat you doin' in th' rain?!". And her to me "I feel like it...", I wondered what she meant and turn the small woman to face me "You OK, baby?! What didja mean?! What's up!!!?" I ask, starting to get frantic.. This behavior was so very, very scary.. Kate was and IS more.. `not inane` than what she acted then... She then looks up at me "I..." the woman replies "I... I'm just upset...". I then yelled back "Girl, ya gotta tell me summore, a'ight?! C'mon! What's wrong? Why you cryin' in th' rain?! Do I need to kill sum, fool?!".. She sighs and finally reveals "M,my friends d,don't like me anymore.. th,they said I smell too bad to even be seen with.. They won't even talk to me on Insta...", I nearly yelled obscenities in violent rage.. but I remember my sweet Kate hates this.. and tried to think rationally... "Alright, look...um.." I admittedly, stupidly replied "If your friends hate how I smell THAT bad, we could do online shet, and you can shower--smell all good, then hang out wit' them again. I'm used ta it long-distant stuff, so it'll be cool for both of us..". She suddenly grips my shirt and cries a retort that hunts with me to even now: "No!! I don't wish to ever give you up for them! Why, I love you and them all ever so very much; but I have no idea what I'd do if I couldn't hold you again! And I'd miss you're ...creative speech, funny stories and even your godawful smell!" and she hugs me tightly... My sweet Kate never minces words; but this is also how I know she cared: this was the truth coming from her, not just a dramatic speech based solely on how she felt now... So I.. having heard someone has fully accepted me and my scent (for the first time since my mother stopped hugging me at 16) teared up, too.. I wasn't able to take hearing this, and could only hug her back... Words couldn't express how I felt.. but........ we had to come up with a system a while after that, to gain social-control on the other parts of her life.. Despite my questioning if it was worth her time, regaining friends such as them... 

Life was rough then, as now our dating had to be a secret. And the amount of embrace I'd receive from the woman had to decrease... I was upset, as was she.. But even her job was at risk, (as my scent murdered some of the flowers in the shop..) So, she stayed away... I.. being human-interaction starved, decided to get into online gaming (I was a solo-player before this, so it was awkward for me..) And found out my best/only friend: Elliot, liked the game: `5 Days in Batman's fort 2`, (A collaberation of games that shouldn't be together..)  And while playing this trash, I tried telling my friend about a soda I liked for a (stupid) joke, but he never heard of the brand.. I tried teleporting a can to him, but my wi-fi was acting ungodly bad that day; for lack of a better word. And Elliot dared not stop playing to look it up himself. So I; hating the conglomeration of gaming ideas, forced into a MMORPG: grabbed a can and went to show him in person! I also took several cans of deodorant and shower-in-a-can to ensure I didn't trigger vomiting, diarrhea and any other stomach discomforts... Later; on the way to my friend's apartment: I saw this sole group of very... angry, huge men; who're punching each other and trying to bend a street light... Others avoided being anywhere by them, but I.. casually walked tried to walk by, then was suddenly approached by one of these giant, bald bodybuilders! "ITSA LIL SHIT, ERNIE!!" he yelled, I stepped back in some surprise and fear... Then the biggest `giant` marched up to me, nearly tearing out of his tank-top and way-too-short shorts with every movement "THERE YOU ARE!!" he yelled, like his friend.. I.. wanted to ask if they could talk normally to me; but that probably wouldn't be in the realm of possibility.. "Wassup, do I know you?" I ask instead, "YEAH, YOU STANKING FUCKER!" he replied angrily, "I'M KATE'S BOYFRIEND!! SHE MY STUFF!! GOT IT!!? AND IF YOU GET NEAR HER AGAIN, I'M GONNA BUST YOUR ASS IN PIECES!!". His friends all cheered him on "YEAH!!", "FUCK 'EM UP, EARNIE, MAN!", PUT.. HIS.. DICK.. IN.. A.. EXHAUST.. PIPE!!!" I.. was frightened by these comments.. except the last.. I'm actually still worried for that man... But at THAT moment; Ernie (thankfully) only pushed me on the pavement and marched away as he laughed obnoxiously... I myself was ever so very `traumatized` at this event, though I was use to being avoided, talked about and verbally abused for my body odor.. I never had to worry about engaging in mortal-combat.. So I was deathly worried about what I should do.. I was also far too upset to see/talk to Elliot, so I simply went home and lied that I had no more soda to show him..

I was upset at my lack of testosterone that day, and had to act fine in front of clients when I got back to work, and when sending text-messages to Kate.. Though, I wondered if I should ask her about that babarian: I never did since she seemed to ignore that he existed, too.. maybe he was a ex, and she honestly didn't acre ofr him and he'd leave? I belived this until she called me one day?!! "Um.." she starts "Don't call me anymore, we should break up..". I almost ask why, when she hung up on me! I try calling her back, but no reply.. Why??! Was this relationship not working out? Or... was it Ernie????!!!! That bully could've scared her into saying this!! I got angry, my ire rose and I started to work out! I sculpted my gamer body, into a well-oiled fighting machine with the technology at the local gym! But... after a week, they kicked me out for my smell.. They even REFUNDED me for the monthly bill one had to pay, just so I wouldn't come back.. But I went to buy old-world weights and a workout bench to ..as they use to say `Pump iron` and pump I constantly and consistently did! I worked-out for a month, along with changing my diet! By the end of this period, I felt tight all over and breathed out steam with ever breath and step I took! Unlike before, I stopped avoiding those thugs!!!

To Be Continued...

Smells like love part4

Until I saw them again! I hadn't seen Kate in weeks: nor did I do anything except game, workout and eat! My mind was fully concentrated on her, and knowing I had to get through this wall of idiotic flesh to do it!!! I stomped to the man, full of bravery, testosterone and anger!! "HEY ERNIE!!" one of his goons screamed "IT'S THE FUCKING PEEWEE AGAIN!!!!". The freakishly huge freak marched to me "SO WHATCHA WANT, LIL' SHIT!? YOU STAYED AWAY FROM MY WOMAN, SO I GUESS YOU'RE BEGGING ME TO PUSH YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, ANYWAY, RIGHT?!". I retort "BRING IT ON, ASSHOLE!!", and Ernie shouted unintelligibly and quickens his pace "YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT, WEINER!!!" he finally gets out!!! I myself; tired of yelling already, reply: "Yeah, yeah...". sarcastically.. I couldn't get to him fast enough, I wanted to punch a hole through him, but the road seemed like it stretched longer and longer.. until Kate ran between us!!

"Stop!!!" she yells out "There's no reason to fight! We're not together anymore, Ernie!". He angrily replied "YES WE ARE!!NOBODY LEAVES ME UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN GO!!!", and she explains to him "That's why we broke up, you don't seem to understand what a relationship actually is..". He somehow bulks up even more(?) in anger, until she adds "Besides, I'm with him, now... Things have changed..". The wall of flesh didn't want to hear this, and shouted unintelligibly again... My brave Kate sighs and look up at me "Let us go.." she says "I needed to call the police ever so very much, when we were together. I know we can't talk to him anyore today, now that he's nettled, but he also knows he is not allowed within 20 feet of me.". She walks away--back down the street, but I reply "I can't go now! That Mofo thinks you're his property! I gotta f' that turd up!!". She turns back towards me "Don't.." she replies "There's no reason to fight now! Let's go before he stops growling in blind fury!", I (idiotically) was far too pumped up and enraged at that muscular clown and wanted to tear him apart.. so I look back towards him as I retort "Sorry, no one speaks that way about you, and gets away wit' it!" And step forward, but I'm yanked back some? I turn and see Kate holding my wrist TIGHTLY, and with a plain expression on her face.. "What are ya doin'!?" I ask in annoyance. And she to me "I don't want you to go.", I try to pull again, without actually hurting her "I gotta do what I gotta freakin' do!!!" I yelled. She pulls me back without any effort.. By now Ernie and his gang saw me being pulled back by a woman who's everso very much shorter than me, and started laughing insanely!! I got angrier.. my ire roused and I try to rush to them! But am yanked back again!! I keep trying to pull, but my scarily stong Kate would not let go of me!! I tried jumping, too.. but had no way to get loose from her grip... So I put all my effort into snatching away--regardless if I pulled her over, as the bodybuilders have started to lose it from laughing.. and attract a crowd! I yank, pull jerk and spin; but all only avails to Kate having to barely step out of place, and then back into the exact spot she was in... I finally stopped and huffed heavily, having tired myself out.. "Dayum!! What the hell?! ...Wh, why don't you...?" I try to ask why didn't she want me to defend her, but was too out of breath... and the dear sweet woman replies plainly: "I don't need you to, I'd rather we go home and forget this...". I awe until she adds "Plus, he'd kill you... Look at you both...", I was admittedly upset at what she said, until I realized: I SHOULD'VE been able to get away from her... I FELT stronger but that paled in comparison to even Kate, who, as I've said, is shorter--smaller than I, by several feet and pounds respectively.. So.. I sighed in defeat.. until Ernie laughed out "YOU'RE SUCH A SOFT PUSSY, DUDE-BRO!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!? I NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY WHO'S SUCH GODDAMN PISSANT! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!", I then turn towards him.. Still with enough anger, pride and rage to retort.. But Kate walks beside me "At least he isn't as stupid as you are!" she yells.. which wasn't a very good comeback; but it was more than enough to make him shout like a wild hog and charge at us "I'M GONNA KILL YOU BOTH!!!!" he shouted! I was far too afraid for us both, we could run.. but he was coming so fast! So the only thing I could do was; crouch and cover my dear, sweet brave Kate with my body and hope after the initial hit into my head or back; that she runs! Fortunately, my reflexes were slow and I bent down just exactly when his fist almost reached my head... and we heard a crash!!!

The crowd starts to disperse.. and we look at each other with wry smiles.. and head to my house... "I'm glad he missed!" I say in relief, unable to fully express how lucky I felt... Kate agrees "Yes, I am too.. The sad man takes steroids often, and that arm was cybernetic; he would've actually killed us..". I shiver in fear.. and once again prayed in thanks; for I realize I could've died very horribly... She then adds "I still feel bad for him, though... The man wasn't so horrible, as much he was simply proud. I believe he could've been a better person if he knew how to become humble..". I then replied "He couldn't, that's why that happened! Now let's please not talk about that psychopath anymore?", she then smiles and looks up at me "Yes, I want to continue moving forwards. I.. I think I made a good decision, this time!" Kate reveals to me.. Though, I myself already believed I was better than a meathead... Hearing her say this felt: beautiful.. for lack of a better word... Until I remember how we'd have to physically start dating again, and what that would intel... "Um.. yo.." I ask nervously "Kate, baby.. what DO I smell like? Everybody hates it, whatever it is; but everybody gotta different way to explain what I smell like.. Do I really smell THAT bad!!?". She suddenly hugs me, stopping us both in our tracks as twilight now comes over the city... The small woman then buries her face into my stomach and sniffs deeply.. (Which was borderline fetish-like) She then finally reveals: "Earthy and like copper!" in a perky tone.. I awe at this.. Kate is sweet, yet very truthful with me... If this is all I smelled like, then who cares what everybody else thinks! I actually felt idiotic too, for worrying about what I smelled like to everybody! "That's what I smell like?!" I asked "I thought I smelled like dooky an' junk!" I ended up joking.. She replies happily "Yes, they said that, but: you only just smell like fresh pennies and a forest floor!" I hold her hands and continued the joke "Pennies? I rich then? Awesome!!" , she laughs with me. Until she sneezes.. and says: "Ah... excuse me... I think my immune system finally failed me, I might be catching a cold..", then asks "Do you wish to rub vick's vapor rub on my chest?"...

Shortly after this, we got married! I'm now the proud father of 2 children, both of which have the unfortunate fate of offending their friends, with their body odours. Fortunately, this doesn't plague them their whole lives; and they started to smell `normal` around 10.... And I myself have found relief a little after this, as my scent started to fade: and now I can get white-collar jobs, which require me to work in enclosed spaces! (I shall not miss having to search for ticks in summer, and freezing during winter.) More importantly.. I realized something..

To Be Continued...

Smells like love part5

That it WAS possible to be truly loved despite my scent: something my friends, family and everybody else has not been able to accomplish when concerning myself. While feeling tolerated was quite.. fine or.. `appreciated` rather... I always felt cut off and merely tolerated, instead of loved as a person.. rather it was pity from most people, what could I expect with what human-history reveals.. Meanwhile.. I.. I think it takes a special kind of person to love someone, who has a glaring fault many would consider `bad` simply because it exists. Don't get me wrong: I would never expected Kate to be with me if I was a abusive person; but I am still surprised she would give the real me even a glance... I could only hope there are more people like her in the world, for it could be a better place... and my own children would be able to find love, even though they're the two with the `somewhat offensive-smelling father`.. And as for me and Kate: we're perfectly happy, our fairy-tale ending was made through perseverance, and the ability to care for a human beign that doesn't quite meet our social or personal demands at first sight.. Now, I can honestly say that I hope you have.. or had a happy Valentine's day, like me and her have and always will!

End💗

Memories

I stopped watering the flowers this week, my watering can broke and I can't get a new one from the neighbors. But that doesn't worry me too much since no one comes here anymore. No one comes to play in the yard or to talk about how our day went, no one does that anymore. The flowers are starting to look grey, but I can't do anything about it, I don't want to do anything about it.

I tried to go sit outside in order to stop hearing all the news from the radio; it would be simpler to just turn the damn thing off but I'm scared I'll mess it up, I never did learn how to use those nifty things. I grabbed my cup of coffee and sat on one of the chairs we left outside a while; but it was broken and I ended up hurting my back really bad, and I spilled my drink everywhere, it was a mess and it left me with a sour taste in my mouth. It wouldn't have done anything if the chair wasn't broken though, the neighbors were shouting and fighting, sirens were blasting from our street and the sky is a mess of stars; I don't think you would've liked the view too much, but I don't think anyone does.

I was going upstairs in order to get inside our room and rest for the day. I'm not very good at going upstairs since you left, but I think I can get the hang of it sooner or later. Though this damned stick doesn't help me a bit to get through them, I think I'll stop using it for the rest of the week. I got to our room after some time and sat at the edge of our bed. My back was hurting so I took some of the pills you left before leaving me; I got to my side of the bed and began to close my eyes. It was hard to sleep when this mess first started, too much noise from people screaming outside and the explosions, but the radio being on always helps me keep the noise away from us. I'm not very good with learning new things, so I prefer not changing the station since it was the one you left before leaving. You chose well though, they always play our favorite every night.

As I slowly drift away into sleep; many memories that I've yet to experience began to appear. We're both in a ballroom with dozens of people I can't recognize; they're staring as if waiting for us to do something, but you take the lead and move to the center of the room. You look stunning, you look like yesterday, and I can't even control myself and quickly follow you. Despite everyone staring at us you moved as if it was only the two of us, you take my hand and tell me words I cannot comprehend anymore. Our song begins; and its as if my body remembers what it is intended to do. You do too, and we both begin to dance until our song ends. But I never get to complete the dance, because I wake up just before it ending.

I woke up today with a headache, I don't feel very well. I don't hear the neighbors anymore so they are probably gone too. I take the pills that were in our bed and begin to walk to the first floor. I cannot walk very well anymore, I just don't seem to be able to move at all. I look at our backyard and how it was withered away; I don't remember the last time I gave the flowers water. I do remember the flowers we had however. Cosmos of many colors, like orange and violet. What a nice name those flowers have, I'll have to get some water for them or they'll die soon. The radio stopped playing music and began to play those horrid noises, it sounds like heavy rain and something I can't quite explain.

I want to see you again. I miss you oh so dearly; everyday I forget another thing from life, but you are all that will remain in my heart. I'll even get those flowers you loved so much, I'll play that song you loved until you return, I cannot wait for you to return home. Please.

I'll close my eyes once more, and when I open them, I know we will be together again. I know I'll be dancing with you til the end of time. I love you.

Whips, Chains and Inappropriate Conversations

Chapter 1



It was a quiet day in the Mars Defence Station base of operations, sitting in the mess hall alone was Ned, in his chair designed to raise his height. He had called the command staff and a few of the officers to the mess hall to discuss something interesting he found on the surveillance tape. It had turned 0900 and Ned looked towards the door and saw a tall, Venusian woman walk in with beautiful, long blue hair, it was Bijou, following closely behind her, attached to a chain lease with bright pink hair was Tess. Bijou took a seat at the table while Tess kneeled on the floor beside.

Not wanting to spoil the surprise, Ned held the photos back despite Bijou yelling “Let me seeee, I want to seee them!”, but then along came the Commanding Officer, a tissue in one hand and a hot drink in the other, he clearly didn’t want to get up, but Jeff came and sat down next to Ned. The only person left to arrive was Kelvin, Tess mumbled something about Kelvin being up all night dancing, but then walking into the room in a bright pink tuxedo was Kelvin, not even hungover from the night before.

Kelvin moved to sit next to Bijou, enraging Tess who started to move quickly towards him, he backed off and went to sit next to Jeff. Sat on one side of the table was Ned, Jeff and Kelvin, Bijou and Tess opposite. It was now time for Ned to show what he had found. He opened the large brown envelope and pulled out 10 photos, passing them around, it was clear some people were disturbed, Kelvin exclaimed “What is this I am looking at and why?!”, there was some silence, Bijou handed some down to her pet, who’s blank and innocent look clearly showed she did not understand what she was looking at.

The silence was suddenly broken by Jeff saying “...thank you for bringing this to my attention Ned...”, he put down the photo of Nero and Wade doing questionable things in mess hall so he could pick up his drink. The only one not shocked or confused was Bijou who looked to Ned and asked “Sooo, can I keep these for.....ideas......”, to which Ned replied “Of course, I have other copies if anyone else wants them.”, no one else looked to take up the offer.

After everything was said, everyone was getting ready to leave, Kelvin got up to help Ned out of his chair, Jeff was looking like he was going to die but managed to stumbled out of the Mess Hall. Bijou adjusted Tess' collar and started to make their way towards the exit. Bumping into Nero and Wade, everyone gave them funny looks with the exception of Tess who just waved. This confused the pair as they made their way to get some breakfast, unaware of what everyone had just seen.

Upon sitting down at the table everyone else previously sat at and the room empty with Nero and Wade alone, Nero noticed a stray photo lying upside on the floor, he picked it up to take a look, his face turned bright red as he hid it from Wade...

...but it wasn’t one of Neds.

Chapter 2

The following day was another quiet one, still no calls from Earth regarding the extraterrestrial threat, it would seem there has been no activity on that front, this did not seem to affect the team. Nero and Wade used the time to catch up on sleep in their shared quarters, Bijou was on a mission to the mess hall to find some cake, leaving Tess just outside, with her leash tied to a post. Walking down base towards the mess hall was Mike, he looked worn out and hungry, but making sure her owner was not caught, Tess obstructed the door, letting out a growl to Mike, one which could be heard throughout the whole deck. Clearly puzzled, Mike said “What are you doing ma’am?”, there was no response, just an intense stare, he shrugged “Whatever” and made his way to the vending machines.

Meanwhile, Jeff had picked out his best dress, it looked like he was getting ready for something special to happen today, the only thing he was missing was some matching makeup. He decided to make his way to the officers quarters to find Bijous room, upon entering, he couldn’t believe what was there, “What on Earth...” he said to himself. In the room was a large and welcoming bed, standard issue drawers but on the opposite side, a collection of whips, gags, handcuffs and so much more, he slowly backed out of the room, trying to forget.

As he backed out, he tripped over something and heard a loud scream, he picked himself up to look what had happened, it was Nero and Wade, he had tripped over the leash Wade was holding, causing the collar of Nero to pull. “I’m so sorry!” Jeff said but Wade just smiled, although with a red face “It’s okay Jeff...I’ve done worse.”, it was clear they weren't expecting to be caught by anyone. They carried on walking down the corridor while Jeff stumbled towards his XOs quarters, still not realised he had bumped into Nero and Wade due to the shock from before and never seeing the pair publicly behaving in that manner.

Jeff had reached the door to his XOs room and let himself in, what he saw would scar a man for life, a whip in one hand and a slice of cake in the other, Bijou was playing with her pet who was begging for the slice of cake. But unlike most men, Jeff had come to expect this behaviour from his XO, however Bijou spotted him at the door, she dropped the cake on the floor and walked towards Jeff with the whip still in her hand. While Bijou was out chasing Jeff, Tess went towards the slice of cake and started to eat it with a smile on her face, it was clearly delicious.

After taking a whipping and running around the base, Jeff has just decided it would be best to go to the replicator to get the makeup, something he thought he should have done in the first place but now he is going to need something to cover up all the whip marks left behind. Not wanting to leave a log of what he had replicated, he used the code belonging to another member of his crew, the unfortunate crewman was Leo, with Ned in charge of security of the base, word would soon spread.

He returned to his quarters and continued to get ready, although he was now running behind so would need to get moving fast. He covered up the marks and applied all the makeup, put on his short black dress and high heels, then made his way to the transporter room. Coming off the transporter, a tall, dark haired Venusian male, it was Dashiell, the ambassador of the Venus government, this was the visitor Jeff was expecting and looking forward to.

Chapter 3

Dashiell stepped down gracefully from the transporter pad, Jeff quickly grab hold of his hand, starting to walk Dashiell towards the mess hall. Jeff had arranged for all personnel on shore leave around this time, leaving the base very quiet and empty. Walking towards the mess hall, in the middle of the floor sat Tess, on her own, Jeff quickly let go of Dashiell hand and approached her. “What are you doing here?”, looking up towards him with an innocent smile, she said “I am waiting for Bijou to return, we are going on holiday!”, looking unsurprised but embarrassed, Jeff said in a stern voice “Tell no one you saw me here.”, Tess just nodded.

Once in the mess hall, the two sat down at one of the tables and began to chat, Dashiell was interested in discussing how the MDS could help defend the interests of the Venusian Senate, however Jeff was more interested in talking about Dashiell, staring intently into his eyes. Neither of them were listening to each other, but they seemed to think they were, eventually Dashiell mentioned something about an agreement for Jeff to sign, not realising, Jeff just agreed.

Barging into the mess hall, loud as always, came Kelvin, he went up to the table the pair were sat at and sat down, not even registering how Jeff was looking however Jeff turned bright red as he looked at Kelvin and asked “What the hell are you still doing here?!”, Kelvin replied in his usual calm manner “You revoked all leave privileges for me a month ago, security wouldn’t let me leave.”, Jeff was silent and just looked at the desk.

“So anyway Dashiell, how did you get that scar?” Kelvin asked, breaking the silence and Jeffs head dipped even further. “Well”, Dashiell said, with a pause, continuing to say “there was an incident here with Jeff here a few years ago.”, Jeffs hands tightened as he clenched them, Kelvin was about ready to speak but Jeff abruptly got out of his chair and yelled “I only wanted to hold you! I didn’t mean make you trip! I....I.....I......Lo......” and he just ran out of the mess hall without finishing his sentence, running passed Tess who was still waiting.

Bijou was walking down the hall to meet up with her beloved pet, suitcases packed, when suddenly Jeff bumped into her, spilling many of the contents on the floor. Bijou had a frown on her face, but when she looked up towards the person who had bumped into her, the frown turned into an evil grin, grabbing her camera, which fell onto the floor, she took some snaps of a dazed Jeff, his dress lifted slightly to reveal small, black laced underwear. Jeff sat up and brushed himself off, not realising and just said “My apologies Bijou”, to which she replied “Oh....it’s not problem.....”, with a large grin on her face.

Jeff carried on walking down towards his room, upon entering, he opened up a bottle of cheap plonk he had stashed under his bed, “Maybe I won’t remember”, he thought to himself. Meanwhile, Bijou had cleaned up the mess caused by getting Tess to do it, while she sat and ate a slice of chocolate cake, she rewarded Tess by throwing a small piece to her.

Before leaving, the pair went into the mess hall, where they saw Dashiell and Kelvin joking around, they took their places at the table. Dashiell looked down towards Tess and said “I need you to order the MDS members back to base.”, with a blank look on her face, she asked “Why?...”, the response from Dashiell, in a deep but soft voice, said “Don’t question me, just do it.”, there was silence for a moment before she said “I only take orders from 2 people around here, Jeff and Bijou”. 

A puzzled look on Dashiell face said it all but he questioned “But isn’t she under your command? I can see you have an...unusual relationship...but still!” there was silence, a common occurrence today, until Kelvin opened his mouth and said “Clearly, this part of the chain of command is physical.”, Dashiell just shrugged and asked to be escorted to the transporter room, he left with a message to have Jeff contact him at his earliest convenience.

Chapter 4



The crew of the MDS gathered at the New Roads Resort for their shore leave, to greet the crew was a man, very well dressed in a black suit, however the hefty metal collar around his neck suggested he had taken fashion advice from Tess. He walked up to a platform with a microphone and said “Hello, my name is Hawthorne and I hope you all have a good time, you deserve a well earned rest! Any questions?” the crowd was pretty silent until Wade raised his hand, “Yes Wade?”, Hawthorne asked, in response Wade said “Will our rooms be private?”, Hawthorne smiled, “Of course, if you need additional privacy, just let me know!”.

With no one else asking any questions, Hawthorne stepped down from the platform and made his way back into the resorts administration office. Arriving later than everyone else and needing to sign in was Bijou and Tess, they entered the office, not fully paying attention, Hawthorne, who just noticed the leash held by Bijou said “Sorry ma’am, no pets allowed, please leave them outside.”, Tess' head tilted upwards slightly as she coughed, Hawthorne looked down, red faced and said “Oh, OH, I’m so sorry Tess! I didn’t realise it was you!”, he proceeded to book the pair into a room, one which was reserved, for special guests.

Meanwhile, in the other private room, Nero and Wade had started to unpack, in Neros pack came clothes and other usually items, however in Wades bag, he pulled out similar items but with the addition of a collar, a chain and a whip. The room itself had a fairly large window, thick enough to be soundproof, a large bed and a dogs bed next to it on the floor, there is also self service with a basic kitchen. On the right hand side of the room, there was a door, behind the door was a dark room, with walls covered with many tools, including handcuffs and a wider range of whips to enjoy, on one side there was also a pillory, the room was clean with a notice stating that it was cleaned everyday.

The pair were pleased with this room, it gave them the privacy they wanted and the equipment that they needed, clearly they didn’t feel ready to make this public unlike the other couple. Once they had looked around and put everything away in the room, the two decided to go for a walk to enjoy the rest of the resort, there was a fancy cafe and a pool, at the pool serving the drinks was a woman with pink hair and a matching pink bikini, she was part of the MDS but given the punishment of serving drinks to the others for spreading rumours about Jeff, this crew member is known by many as Arrow.

Wade and Nero took up seats in front of the pool, signalling for drinks, Arrow came up to them, red in the face as she asked what they wanted, Wade ordered one large orange juice with two straws, Arrow went away to put the order in, but after doing so, a member of security tapped her on the shoulder and escorted her to the security office, Leo was told to deal with all other orders, as he was working off the replicator debt Jeff put on his account. He brought the orange juice over to couple, on the table between them, Nero asked “What happened to the pretty one who was just here?”, Wade stared at Nero, as if to say ‘I’m going to get you back’, Leo did not answer and just walked away.

In the security office with Arrow sat there in front of Ned, who asked the guards to stand outside and ignore any noises. He stood up from his chair and moved towards the cupboard, opening it, he pulled out a paddle and walked back to stand over Arrow, “We can clear your debt and you can have your fun if you want” he said in a stern voice, Arrow looked up, a shocked look, debating on if she would degrade herself like the only other officer she has seen or if she would continue working at the cafe. After 5 minutes of awkward silence, Arrow looked up again and in a timid voice said “...do what you want...”, Ned asked her to stand and bent her over the desk, after several whacks of the paddle, she was allowed to leave and enjoy her holiday, a towel given to her by Ned covered what had happened.

Chapter 5



The day came to an end, everyone made their way to their rooms, Arrow was finding it hard to get to sleep because of the pain and questioning why she enjoyed it. Bijou and Tess were both asleep, Bijou in the bed and Tess was curled up in a cat basket beside, before going to sleep, Bijou looked over and smiled, she then put her head down on the pillow and fell asleep. The only people left awake now were Ned, who was watching the security cameras, Hawthorne, who was, busy and both Nero and Wade.

Back in Nero and Wades room, they had entered the play area, Wade reached for the light switches, which didn’t add much light to the room but enough to see, not realising it, he also flicked the switch to turn on a camera. Hooking a lease onto Neros collar, he pulled him towards the pillory and secured him into it, choosing not to use his own personal whip, Wade picked one of the new ones from the wall, standing in front of Nero, he began to insult him, waving a ballgag in front of his face too, he strapped this onto Nero and moved to the back.

Holding the whip firmly and swinging with passion, the fun began, the screams Nero let out were muffled by the gag, but the expression on his face showed they weren't screams of intense pain, but pleasure. Still unaware of earlier, the camera was focused on the pillory, a clear view of everything that was happening. In the administrative offices, there was a room for all recordings to go to for visitors to collect memories of their trip, coming on duty to watch over the systems was Li, he had just walked into the office, tired from the night before, he saw one of the cameras on and recognised the two in the video, he put down his coffee and sat down to watch everything unfold, he had made sure to set up two copies to be made.

After several whippings, Wade pulled the gag out of Neros mouth and ordered him to beg to be released, dangling the key in front of him, in a soft and tearful voice, Nero said “Please, please let me out master, I’ll be good!”, Wade smiled and patted him on the head, he then proceeded to let him out, grabbing the leash, he let Nero walk at his own pace back to the bedroom, he flicked all the switches off on the way out, including the camera, the pair then both got ready for bed and got in. They would be in for a surprise when they got to reception the following morning, but for now, they slept completely oblivious to everything.

The following morning would be an abrupt end to shore leave, in a drunken rage, Jeff had decided to order everyone back to base, but it wouldn’t be until the evening that everyone was due back. Nero walked down towards the pool for another relaxing day, but Li came up to him and said “Excuse me Nero, I have something for you.” turning and looking puzzled, Nero replied “Okay? What is it?”, Li handed over a recording with a large grin on his face, Nero didn’t know what this was, so asked “...what is this?”, Li smiled and said “If you don’t know, you should watch it, you might recognise someone.”, they then both carried on walking to where they were going.

Arrow was still confused, wandering around in a daze, she bumped into Ned on her way to the pool, her face turned red as she looked to the floor and carried on walking. Leo was still serving drinks and not looking too happy about it, the only people missing from the main entertainment area were Bijou and Tess, who were enjoying the other entertainment area. 

The evening soon rolled around and everyone started packing up, heading on their way back to base, except the two who seemed to be enjoying themselves too much, they were going to be late back for to the base if it wasn’t for Hawthorne coming to inspect the rooms, walking into one of the private rooms, he found it empty, with a bit of light coming from under the special door, he approached the door and pulled it open. What he saw left him frozen and speechless, he knew what these rooms were used for but he never expected to witness a barely dressed Tess getting whipped and begging for food, Bijou suddenly stopped and turned to the door, some might call this déjà vu, but needless to say, cake was dropped and eaten, Hawthorne was chased and beaten.

When Bijou had finally stopped whipping Hawthorne, she listened to what he had to say as he explained that he was just checking the rooms to make sure they were empty and after all was  said, Hawthorne ended with “We’ll forget this little incident ever happened but you have a great whipping technique!” Bijou just looked and replied “Mhmm”, as she turned and left the office to collect everything. Back at their room, Tess was still eating the cake, Bijou picked it up and placed it in her hands as she walked Tess with her to the shuttles, ready to depart, Tess had never looked so happy before now.

My entry:

Valentine special

(THEY FOUND THEMSELVES)

(She talks to herself, but inside her)

She: Today is Valentine day and like 

every year I am celebrating it lonely 

what a life it is, see everyone have 

someone with them and special in their life, 

but only "I" have no one.

(He, A Stranger sitting next to her )

He: Excuse me, you lonely pretty woman?

She: Sorry?

He: Haha don't get shocked, what you 

were saying within everything heard to me

She: oh what really?

He: Yes really, I don't know

why it heard only to me, but it is the 

fact, you know I think what I am going 

to think is the think might god have taught for us

She: What is it?

 (He said within) 

She: What really?... Aww... Yes. 

I want to be yours too.

He: Aww Thank-you.

Flashback to what he said within:

(He said within, 

Will you be my valentine?

 Like you have no one same I have no one, 

I am a stranger to you, but you know

everyone is unknown first then they become 

known so why not us

she replied yes why not and they both 

went to celebrate Valentine day so 

she found him and he found her.

-Chirayu!.

"My Valentine Day"

He: 

I don't know you

You don't know me,

But still, I want to know you

So will you be my valentine this year? 

If you have someone then fine, 

If you don't like then fine, 

If you are not interested then fine, 

But If you say "yes" then I promise to this day That when the next year Valentine will come 

I will propose you by saying, "Will, you be my valentine for this year and every year, Because I am in love with you Before knowing you, I like you, Now, After knowing you, I love you." Yes... I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU ONLY YOU!. She: 

I don't have someone

But

I want to know someone

And it is you "Yes" 

I want to be your Valentine to know you and to become your promise of love in a real way so I can tell the world

"Love is not a lie in a promise if someone truly loves you then that someone will never break the promise of love will ever love you to keep the promise for life." -Chirayu!.

Title: Jenny The Untold Story.

Sub: heart touching story/dialogue Writing

Genre: Fiction/ Romantic.

******************************************

Jenny (The Untold Story.)

(Intro of the protagonist)

This is a story of a woman named "Jenny" 

she is a music teacher in a

Berklee music school in Boston

Jenny is basically from New York but because of her job

she lives alone in Boston

Jenny is a beautiful, bold, and very brave woman, 

she is a multi-talented and multitasking woman too,

but her love status is single,

She has found someone before but she has lost that someone, that is why she keeps traveling whenever she gets holidays

To go away from the feelings of loneliness, she travels to her favorite place

where she always stays in the hotel in the same room, where she spent a lot of time,

(It is a mystery to herself 

what she do and

why she stays in the hotel room)

Present Time:

On the valentine's day holiday

Jenny reached the the-the hotel 

which is situated in the heart of NYC,

(It is strange to see that Jenny has her own home here

but she stays in the hotel)

Jenny settled to her room No.415

And said to the room service person

"Not to disturb her"

Door closed.

Time moving

Second by second

Minute by minute

The door is still closed and

there is silence in the room,

Jenny hasn't opened the room yet also 

she isn't even seen outside of the room,

Time is moving,

And

The time ticked from 12 pm to 8 pm.

The room service manager was outside the hotel talking to someone and then he noticed someone is watching him saw the window of the room no.415 "Jenny" (A woman is looking out of her hotel window.

The manager initially thought she might be talking to someone on the call 

 she is staring at him

The manager went inside and asked to room service duty person 

Whose duty is now and does the room No. 415 Ma'am

Have called for anything?

He said "no"

The manager went up to room No. 415

And knocked twice times 

Jenny opened her room and said

I told you not to disturb me

Manager asked 

Ma'am do you need the room service.

Jenny says 

no thank you and don't disturb me.

The duty person asked the manager

Sir why this ma'am 

Never come out of the room 

and why she never leaves the room?

The only time she opens the door is for room service 

when she is leaving from here

Manager said 

"I don't know and I don't want to know 

because it isn't our duty we have our job

we can do that then to be an investigator of Someone's case,

 I think we should mind our business right?

better

Yes, sir absolutely,

After 30 minutes 

Later there is a sound from Jenny's room this time, it is her sound of yelling, crying, the manager is next to her room he is talking to the room cleaning department, he heard the sound but he ignored it, 

The same sound continues Jenny's room 

she is still crying, the manager is Keeping his ears on the door where he heard that Jenny is saying is "I miss you" 

the manager is thinking it might be someone who she loves the most in life, so he went away 

And next day morning Jenny checked out the room went back to Boston.

The manager went with the cleaning department to her room he instructing the newly joined members, 

They are cleaning Jenny's room no 415. 

The manager is looking at the room as he is finding something, he looked the dustbin where he found a paper where the stories of mystery are found, he got a paper it is written by Jenny.

It is like a letter, the manager took and kept inside the pocket and went 

To the washroom, where he can read it,

He took out the paper and started reading.

Dear Me,

(As Jenny is writing to herself)

When will the time comes

When I can find him 

My childhood friend Mr.Jimmy

Is this time or might not in this life

I don't know how to search for him

I have tried everything, even every source

But I am failed to find him

It is said that 

I lost my friend for a lifetime,

Sitting here and watching outside the window is remembering you,

As you use to do, to see me from your home's Window (I remember everything)) I don't know 

Why that day came when I went away from you to my boarding school let you alone and when I came back you went to "Don't know a place" 

But there was a hope

Through sources, I found a link that says you were here right here, where I'm here today,

To this place,

why I like this room, Someone told me when I came back from my boarding school that you used to live here at this hotel and in this room so Feeling you, talking to you and telling you how much I love you it is almost 20 over years we never met but I hope one day I can meet you my soulmate buddy, 

I am feeling hopeless and Helpless now that I couldn't find you...

(Tearful eyes, crying squeezed the written and Thrown in the dustbin) 

After 12 months later 

on the same day of valentine

Jenny has come to the hotel

Asked for that room, but this time it was already booked by the name "Mr.Jimmy"

Jenny couldn't believe it so she runs speedily to that room and 

A hugged her from back

she feels that this is him

When she saw the man from the front 

She got shocked as she knows him, it was the manager

who is his soul mate buddy,

The manager was his friend

achieved this position.

Then Jimmy (Mr. manager said the whole story to her and rest they both live together as a couple as love and as a single life).

They celebrated and cherished

Valentine day 

Which is the birthday of love

celebrated

by the lovers for the lovers,

of the lovers. (Valentine is obviously of the lovers)

Ty.

Written

By

-Chirayu!.

Mother's Basilica

⠀⠀‘What if this doesn’t work?’ she asked. ‘What if this makes things worse?’

⠀⠀Thalia’s heart-shaped face was creased with worry. It heartened me to see her concern, though it would be my ordeal. Today was the day of my marriage, but not to her. Today I was supposed to let her go, forget her, and be matchmade to a stranger. Unless we did something about it, after the coupling ceremony was over, things would be harder for her than for me. She would have to watch me, enamoured with another girl, memories of our own childhood, our teenage years, consigned to oblivion. The matchmaking ceremony had that effect. Two selected people would have eyes only for each other. Romantic feelings for any other human being would be lost forever.

⠀⠀I answered Thalia: ‘We owe it to ourselves to try if we want to stay together. We have no other choice.’

⠀⠀All of this, all our problems, were caused by Mother. Though I’m sure if she knew what Thalia and I were about to do she would say that we were the ones causing problems.

⠀⠀I tried to soothe my girlfriend: ‘Remember when we were children?’ I said. ‘We would laugh and say that we didn’t need Mother’s matchmaking system. We would get married as people did in the olden days.’ There would be no call to the city’s central basilica on your eighteenth birthday, no ceremony, no intoxicating bond formed between the newlyweds which put all other relationships far into the background of their minds.

⠀⠀‘Our parents would laugh and say that talk like that was ridiculous. Things just didn’t work that way anymore.’ They would say that once Mother had called each of us to the coupling chamber in her basilica, and the ceremony had finished, we would only ever think of our new spouses. That’s how it was for our parents, and our parent’s parents. It was thanks to Mother that there was someone for everybody.

⠀⠀Mother. This was the director of our society, the benevolent AI who watches over every citizen of our republic. She keeps the peace in our community, ensuring harmony among all its citizens, making sure everything runs smoothly, she acts as the judge in any and all court cases, no matter how minimal or insignificant, and most crucial of all, she is the one who arranges marriage between citizens. She acts as a matchmaker. To someone from a less enlightened time this might seem a little strange, but by all accounts having an AI as a ruler of a republic was far more efficient and reliable than having a human. Humans could be selfish and power-hungry and their abilities would deteriorate over time. Mother’s benevolent administration was eternal; she did not age. Everything she did was for the good of each citizen.

⠀⠀That was the prevailing opinion anyway. Now, Thalia and I were about to do something unprecedented.

⠀⠀Both of us stepped down from Thalia’s porch. Today was my birthday, my twenty-first, the age that every citizen was to marry. Our republic was so huge and populous that there was always someone to be matchmade with another.

⠀⠀My fingers twined around Thalia’s as we made our way into the capital. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend before being matchmade was not forbidden, just frowned-upon. After the oldest of the couple was married by Mother the younger would be left alone and unhappy, that is, until they themselves were married. It was considered good behaviour to wait until your twenty-first birthday for love.

⠀⠀I looked into Thalia’s face again. Her eyes were downcast. I shook her arm gently until her eyes met mine. ‘This will work,’ I said, try to sound as encouraging as possible.

⠀⠀I removed the little pill from my pocket. Seramin it was called. Thalia had procured it for me, not entirely honestly, from a friend of hers with ties to the black market. This drug supposedly dulled all emotions for an unknown period of time. The fact that it produced no high or euphoria of any kind meant it was not all that popular, in fact, I wasn’t sure why anyone would want to dull positive emotions, but we had managed to get our hands on it nonetheless.

⠀⠀As far as I knew no one had used it during the coupling ceremony of Mother’s basilica before. What the consequences of taking it were seemed to be was a little vague; it could potentially have disastrous effects, but I was willing to take the chance if there was even a minor possibility that I could retain my feelings for Thalia. 

⠀⠀Looking at my girlfriend’s face I could tell my reassurances hadn’t worked.

⠀⠀‘I’m just afraid’, she said. ‘Afraid that you’ll come out of that building with someone else. I can see it in my mind’s eye: You’ll be holding her hand and looking into her face. I’ll approach you, I’ll make you look at me, and you’ll look back with nothing but apathy. Our whole lives together, our childhood, our teenage years, will have counted for nothing.’

⠀⠀‘I would have felt just the same if you were older’, I said. ‘If this were your birthday and not mine, but it is mine. I’ll take the seramin before going in. It is our best chance.’

⠀⠀She nodded solemnly. ‘I just hope something doesn’t go wrong with that tablet, that there’s no terrible side-effect’, she said.

⠀⠀‘I’m willing to risk it’, I said, as optimistically as possible.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀Our city was one of the most modern in existence. It was shaped like a cell: relatively circular, with a wall around its perimeter and with Mother’s Basilica as a nucleus. The centre was our destination. We had decided to arrive at the basilica early, just in case, so Thalia and I had a little time to talk. We reminisced about our childhood memories, our early days together, just to take our minds off where we were heading and what was about to happen. Nonetheless, Thalia kept returning to her worries: what would happen if there were some adverse effects of taking the seramin? What if the drug didn’t work? What if Mother had already foreseen that someone might try to circumvent the ceremony with a drug and thwart our plans? There was nothing to be done to assuage Thalia’s apprehension.

⠀⠀Despite our situation, both of us, like pretty much all citizens, had faith in Mother. We realised that harmony in society must be retained. Without Mother we would degenerate into the violent wars and the social disorder of the distant past. Without proper direction, humanity would always seek to destroy itself, so we were told.  

⠀⠀However, we drew the line at Mother’s practice of matchmaking. We would stop at nothing to make sure we stayed together. Nonetheless, we felt guilty, to our parents, to our society, and to Mother.

⠀⠀Soon the two of us approached the centre of the city. The closer you got to the centre, the more opulent the buildings became. The architecture was a mix of greco-roman: white marble buildings with columns and triangular pediments, and the more modern: smooth glass facades, skyscrapers which jutted into the sky, broad entrances with automatic doors. There were no vehicles. The city was built to be convenient and also condensed, so that a pedestrian could access any part of the city he or she chose in relatively short walking distance.

(Continued).

⠀⠀Thalia and I arrived at Mother’s Basilica with time to spare. It was a beautiful building, shaped like a romanesque church or Ancient Roman basilica (hence its name). It’s facade bore a large circular rose window. I had passed this building many times in my life but had never gone inside; I had no need to. Only those who were being married by Mother or those who worked within had reason to enter. The two of us passed through its broad arched doorway. The outside was deceptively ancient looking. The inside was as modern as could be. The floor was covered with smooth white tiles, there were many elegant staircases which curved upwards to higher levels, and the floor we were on was quite spacious. What was most striking though was the colossal hologram which took up the space in the centre of the building. It was so large that it could be seen from any floor of the basilica.

⠀⠀The hologram depicted the face of Mother. Her features were as perfect as those of Michelangelo’s David. Her visage was as smooth and as unblemished as milk. The only darkness in the projection of her was in the pupils of her eyes, which were large and seemed to see into one’s soul. No wonder people venerated her as they did. Though she was a holographic projection, to Thalia and I she looked as real and as any physical object. As we entered, the enormous hologram turned her eyes to me and for a moment my heart stopped beating and I felt as if I could not move. She addressed me directly. ‘Welcome Peter Firth, and congratulations on your upcoming marriage. It will be my pleasure to carry out your matchmaking procedure. It will begin in fifteen minutes. Please proceed to waiting room promptly.’ With that, Mother’s attention was no longer on me.

⠀⠀I turned to Thalia and we embraced. ‘I will wait for you outside the basilica’, she said. Her voice faltered. ‘If..if things go well…’

⠀⠀‘They will’, I said firmly.  

⠀⠀We parted then. I quickly procured the seramin from my pocket and downed it immediately. Then, I made for the coupling chamber. Just then, something occurred to me then that I should have thought of before. If the seramin was effective I would still have feelings for Thalia and whatever effect Mother’s matchmaking ceremony would have on me would be dulled, but what about my spouse to be? That wretched girl, whoever she was, would be paired up with someone who did not love her.  

⠀⠀I must at least try to explain things to Mother. Backing out of Mother’s arranged marriages was unheard of, but perhaps Mother would be sympathetic. There were holograms all over the basilica, including the waiting room. I would speak to her there.

⠀⠀The waiting room was divided into two halves, one for men, one for women, so that couples could not see each other before they were married in the eyes of Mother. Both partitions were quite small. Though the city was very large and highly populated, nonetheless there was usually no more than three couples getting married each day. In the men’s partition of the waiting room was another, smaller hologram of Mother which at this point was silent, and one other young man, thin, with a pinched face and a curly mop of hair. He seemed in good spirits and wished me a happy birthday—I did the same to him. His joyful mood irritated me. He was clearly happy to be getting married today and had none of the misgivings that I had. Like me, he was a little intimidated by Mother and made no attempt to speak to her hologram.

⠀⠀The young man was called upon before I was. That made sense, he had been in the waiting room longer, though being alone with Mother’s hologram only made my apprehension worse. Now was my chance. I looked into Mother’s dark eyes and inwardly vowed that I wouldn’t mention I had taken the seramin (that would no doubt get me arrested).

⠀⠀‘Mother,’ I began. ‘I don’t want to get married today. There is a girl I am already in love with. I don’t want to lose her. Can’t I marry her instead? Can’t we marry as people did in the past, without being joined by you?’

⠀⠀To my surprise, Mother’s expression softened. I had expected stony defiance.

⠀⠀She said gently: ‘Do you suppose you are the first citizen to be in this position?’

⠀⠀I pondered this. ‘No, Mother. Our city is so populous that I suppose that many have had my problem.’

⠀⠀‘Just so. My matchmaking scheme has a 99% success rate. Through me, each citizen will find a mate. Through me, social harmony is maintained. I urge you to go through with the marriage ceremony for the good of society. Once it is over you will have eyes only for the person I have paired you with. Those who have had your problem have done so and forgotten their childish romances.’

⠀⠀I was sure Mother meant to sound benign, but that made me start. ‘My relationship with Thalia is no childish romance,’ I protested. ‘We have known each other since we were very young. Our love for each other is no passing thing. If we had lived in the olden days then we would surely have married and spent our lives together.’

⠀⠀Mother listened, and her expression did not change.  

⠀⠀‘In that case, Peter Firth, I will make a special exception for you, but you must nonetheless exit through the coupling chamber, not by the way you came.’

⠀⠀At that moment I trusted Mother without question, as did every adult member of my family, all of whom had been married by her. How naive I was then. As I stood up to head into the next chamber, my heart sang with joy. I had done it! The seramin had been unnecessary. Mother had been sympathetic. I could continue my life with Thalia, and when the time came for her to marry, Mother would make an exception for her too. My joy was boundless.

⠀⠀I left the waiting room and passed into the coupling chamber, which was sterile-looking and contained two reclining chairs and another hologram projector for Mother, but with a pang of guilt I laid eyes upon a girl waiting for me there. She was pretty. Who could this be but the young woman I would otherwise have married? I began to stammer out an apology.

⠀⠀‘I’m sorry. I cannot be your husband. Mother has made an exception for me. I’m sure she will find you someone else.’

⠀⠀The girl’s eyes betrayed confusion and sorrow.

⠀⠀‘Sorry’, I said again, and turned to leave, seeking out the exit. It was an automatic sliding door, but as I approached it it did not open.

⠀⠀I turned back, bemused, to look into the face of Mother’s hologram. The expression of sympathy was gone, replaced by indifference. I realised I had been tricked. One of the last thoughts that crossed my mind before what happened next was the hope that the seramin would work.

⠀⠀Then began the strange procedure I had heard about from my parents, from any married adult. The room was filled with a humming, droning sound, and the air around me began to judder. My head swam with an inner shaking sensation. The last thing I heard before losing consciousness was Mother’s voice. ‘I am sorry, Peter Firth, but my matchmaking programme must be maintained. Social harmony depends on it.’

(Continued).

⠀⠀Soon, I found myself taking deep breaths, and when I opened my eyes I was looking into the gaze of the girl who had entered the coupling room behind me. She was my wife now.

⠀⠀It is hard to describe how different I felt then, the change between the person I was before Mother married us and the person I had become. I suppose only someone matchmade in the eyes of Mother could understand, but I’ll do my best to explain.

⠀⠀I felt torn in two. I loved both Thalia and my new wife, whose name I soon learned was Hana. The seramin had only half the effects I was expecting. Had I not taken the pill, my feelings for Thalia would have been wiped away, but they remained. I loved Thalia just as I had before, but I could not help also loving Hana. Mother’s coupling ceremony made sure of that. I wish I didn’t, but I did.  

⠀⠀My love for Hana was an inebriation, something intoxicating. Something to be obsessed over. It was this that bothered me. If I had never known Thalia I could throw myself into this new relationship with Hana without reservations, but I couldn’t.

⠀⠀I also couldn’t forget how Mother had cheated me for her own ends, and that made me all the more uncomfortable with my marriage to Hana. It was artificial, fake, and I wanted to be rid of it.

⠀⠀Poor Hana was infatuated with me, and I felt something similar for her. That was the effect of Mother’s coupling ceremony.  It was something unnatural, I saw that then, made so that spouses would never tire of each other, so that society would have a stable bedrock and everything would be harmonious. That was all Mother cared about. She cared more about that than the happiness of Thalia and I. In some sense I had avoided Mother’s plans: I still loved Thalia, while in others I had failed, I had a manic sort of love for Hana, even though I knew next to nothing about her. The seramin did not have the effect I was expecting.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀I woke up on a reclining chair in the coupling chamber. I couldn’t see Mother’s face anywhere—her hologram was switched off. Hana was there, already awake, in a similar chair, waiting for me to stir. I could see nothing but adoration in her eyes. I understood. A part of me felt the same way of her as she doubtless did of me, but I couldn’t bear to stay any longer. I felt as if some strange, foreign part had been grafted onto my soul. I wanted to go back to how things were before, and that meant going back out to Thalia.

⠀⠀I’m sure it broke Hana’s heart to see me abandon her on our wedding day, and if I hadn’t taken the seramin I would surely have stayed, but I had to get out of this building, to see Thalia again.

⠀⠀The sliding door opened for me this time, and in a moment, I was in the basilica’s lobby. Mother’s massive hologram loomed in its centre. I felt her dark eyes boring into me and I couldn’t bear to look back into her white face. I passed through the entrance doors, still delirious from the changes made to my mind, my emotions.

⠀⠀I spotted Thalia on the footpath opposite the basilica’s facade. I sighed with relief, and she seemed to do the same. All it took for her was to look into my face and realise that I hadn’t been completely brainwashed by Mother’s coupling procedure.

⠀⠀We embraced, and only managed to speak after a few moments.

⠀⠀‘The seramin’, Thalia said, ‘it worked!’

⠀⠀‘No. No it didn’t’, I said. ‘Not entirely.’

⠀⠀Turning back, looking toward Mother’s basilica, I could see Hana standing in the doorway, watching us. In her eyes I could see confusion, anguish, and grief.

⠀⠀I felt a pang of melancholy for her.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀The marriage had to be reversed. I couldn’t live like this.

⠀⠀There was no question that I could go to my parents or my friends. Both had been expecting to meet my new wife, and if I did see them they would probably force me to return to Mother’s basilica and undergo some procedure to oust my love for Thalia and return to Hana. No adult would understand my predicament because all of them, at the age of twenty-one, had been married in the eyes of Mother. They would not sympathise with me and would condone my use of the seramin. I felt like a fugitive, and in some sense I was.

⠀⠀I didn’t see Hana after that moment outside the basilica, though I am sure she would have wanted to speak to me, for me to explain why I had left her. Thalia and I departed and wandered through the city. I told her what had happened in the coupling chamber, about how Mother lied to me (Thalia could hardly believe it. She, like pretty much everyone, trusted Mother without question).  

⠀⠀So who were we to turn to now? Mother was almost an absolute power. Almost, but not quite. There was a Prime Minister who dealt with the few matters beyond Mother’s scope that we had heard mentioned in the past. We had no choice but to go to him and hope he would help us.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀I hated feeling this emotional split within me. I wanted this matter resolved before dusk. No doubt we would be reported missing by our families and the police would start searching for us soon.

⠀⠀We found the Prime Minister’s offices and official residence also in the centre of the city, with the rest of the political buildings. Both of us were apprehensive, uncertain that anyone would deign to help us. The door opened, and a cheerful young man showed us inside.

⠀⠀It turned out to be a mercy that most political affairs were handled by Mother. That meant that the Prime Minister and any other politicians had little work to do and were only too happy to help Thalia and I. The man who opened the door for us escorted us further into the building and up a flight of stairs. Through a heavy oak door, we were lead into the Prime Minister’s office. He was sitting behind an opulent desk and greeted us with a broad smile.

⠀⠀‘Please, sit’, he said, gesturing to a couple of seats in front of his desk. ‘The two of you look young enough to be of marriageable age’, he said brightly. ‘Did you both undergo the coupling ceremony recently?’

⠀⠀His smile quickly vanished when he saw the looks of concern on our faces.

⠀⠀‘How can I help you?’ he said.

⠀⠀I began my story at the beginning of the day, sparing no detail. This politician was the only one who could help us now. I told him of the seramin, our arrival at the basilica and the coupling ceremony, Mother’s deception, my leaving of Hana at the basilica, and our journey to these offices.

⠀⠀The politician seemed oddly nonplussed by what I had said about Mother. He rose from his place and ambled closer to where we were sitting.

⠀⠀‘Cases like yours are so rare, young man. I am always surprised when they crop up. You’ll recall that it is often said that Mother’s matchmaking programme has a 99% success rate. I am afraid that you, Mr. Firth, are part of the 1%. The coupling ceremony that you have undergone earlier today is so powerful, both emotionally and even physically, that resisting it and retaining feelings for another is almost unheard of, but I suppose you have the seramin to thank for that.’

⠀⠀I broke in: ‘But there must be a way to reverse it. I am still enamoured with the girl who, in the eyes of Mother and society, is my wife. Though I wish I wasn’t.’

⠀⠀‘Lucky for you, Mother isn’t the only one in possession of the technology used in the coupling ceremony’, said the politician. ‘The coupling ceremony can be undone as easily as it is undergone.’

(Continued).

⠀⠀The man digressed: ‘I would never admit this to Mother, I have always had a certain nostalgia for the way things were done in the distant past, despite the fact that I was married by her myself. Sure, many marriages ended in divorce or ended badly in some other way, but quite often there were cases like yours: a genuine and lasting love that would flourish without the help of Mother.’

⠀⠀I dismissed the man’s discursive talk. I only cared about reversing the procedure I had undergone that morning. ‘Please, sir’, I began. ‘If you know of a way to undo Mother’s matchmaking on me then please do it immediately.’

⠀⠀‘There is nothing I would like more, young man’, he said. ‘But reversing the procedure on you and leaving your poor wife to be obsessed over the thought of you for the rest of your life would be most unfair. Find your wife, bring her here, and I will reverse the process on both of you.'

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀I began to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Returning things to how they were this morning finally did seem possible.

⠀⠀Leaving the Prime Minister’s building, Thalia and I embraced and then parted. She would return home and not say a word to anyone about what had transpired today. It was up to me now. I stayed the night in a hotel but barely managed to get only a few ours sleep because of my trepidation. How would Hana react when she saw me again? Did she hate me for leaving her at the basilica, or did she love me all the same? Perhaps a mixture of both. Though I never admitted it to Thalia, I did still have feelings for Hana, I couldn’t help it. Mother had made sure of that. I loved her madly, but didn’t want to. My obsession with my new wife was tumour-like, and I had to cut it out.

⠀⠀Finding her wasn’t difficult. At the town hall of our city, like Mother’s basilica, in its centre, I was able to find her address by interacting with a console there. It was like finding an address in the residential listings in an old fashioned phonebook.

⠀⠀My apprehension grew as I walked toward her home, and by the time I was at her door my heart was in my mouth.

⠀⠀She was the one who opened the door. I registered shock on her elfin face, her large eyes brimming with tears.

⠀⠀Her first words were, ‘How could you?

⠀⠀I could see now that I had hurt her more than I had initially realised. I couldn’t find the words to reply.

⠀⠀She spoke again: ‘How could you leave me there?’

⠀⠀Another silence.

⠀⠀‘Mother joined us, she married us. You’re my husband. How could you just leave with another girl?’

⠀⠀I had to start explaining. ‘Hana’, I began. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t be with you. I have to be with someone else, someone I’ve known all my life.’

⠀⠀She didn’t seem to be listening.

⠀⠀‘Maybe we can try again’, she said, cuffing the tears from her eyes. ‘Maybe something went wrong in the coupling procedure. If we go back to the basilica maybe Mother will let us do the procedure all over again and then you love me as much as…as much as I love you.’

⠀⠀‘Hana, you have to understand’, I said. ‘I never wanted to go through with the coupling procedure in the first place. I took something to prevent it from working, and it worked—or rather, it almost worked. But listen. I’ve found a way to undo all of this, to go back to how things were before Mother married us.’

⠀⠀‘But I don’t want that’, she said. ‘I want to be with you.’

⠀⠀I tried to make my voice sound gentle. ‘You only think you do. I’ve learned something Hana, that this matchmaking, all the marriages of those who turn twenty-one, its all a sham, its fake. My love for the girl you saw me with, the girl I’ve spent my whole life with, that’s what’s real.’

⠀⠀She looked at me ruefully. ‘You’re really not going to change your mind?’

⠀⠀I looked back seriously, and said firmly, ‘no.’

⠀⠀I added, ‘But I promise you, once we reverse things, I’m sure Mother will let you marry someone else.’

⠀⠀That was little consolation, but Hana seemed to acquiesce.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀We began the journey to the Prime Minister’s residence in silence. I felt that Hana still resented me, even hated me. I tried to explain that the real party at fault here was Mother, not me. There was no way I was going to give up Thalia, and if not for Mother’s rules and obsession with social harmony, none of this would have to have happened.

⠀⠀I pondered everything that had occurred. Couldn’t citizens just choose whether they wanted to be matchmade or not? I suppose Mother would never allow that. For her, everything had to be absolute, infallible, and exact. Thank god there were people at the Prime Ministers office willing to circumvent her.

◆ ◆ ◆

⠀⠀At the door to the office we were let in by the same man Thalia and I had been let in by the day before. Instead of leading us up to the Prime Minister’s office we were lead down to a basement. It was lit by a gelid, sterile light. I was surprised to see that the place looked remarkably like the coupling chamber in Mother’s basilica. There were two reclining chairs in its centre. The only thing missing was Mother’s holographic projector.

⠀⠀The Prime Minister was there, and as good humoured as before. He spoke to Hana: ‘I was unsure your husband you be able to convince you to come here. Those who undergo the coupling procedure usually will stop at nothing to remain with whoever they have been paired with.’

⠀⠀Hana still looked depressed, grief stricken almost, but she said: ‘There is nothing I would like more, but Peter has assured me he will never leave his girlfriend, even though he does have feelings for me. If he can overcome those feelings, then so can I.’

⠀⠀The politician looked impressed by her resolve. ‘Well then, the soon we get this nightmare over for you, the better.’

⠀⠀She nodded.

⠀⠀The procedure was blessedly simple. Both of us lay down on the chairs and closed our eyes. Soon we could hear and feel the same shaking sensation we had felt before. The air seemed to vibrate and in a moment we had lost consciousness.

⠀⠀I was relieved beyond words that, when I awoke, I felt just the same as I had the morning of the previous day. Looking towards the chair to my left I could see Hana, lying there, not yet roused. How did I feel about her then? It was easier to describe then how I didn’t feel about her than how I did. She was just as attractive, and since meeting her yesterday I knew for sure she was a good person. She had had the steadfastness to agree to come and have our marriage dissolved, but my manic infatuation for her was gone, and I was sure as soon as she awoke she would feel the same about me.

⠀⠀The bond between us had been severed.

(Continued).

⠀⠀The nightmare was almost over. The only problem now was that in the eyes of Mother and society I was supposed to be married. According to Mother’s records, Hana and I were still husband and wife. To clear this up, Thalia, Hana and I were sent for by the Prime Minister. We came to his building and the three of us mounted the stairs to his office.

⠀⠀Hana was addressed first. The politician told her that he had altered Mother’s records and that as far as she knew, Hana was not yet twenty-one, but she would be in a few days. Once that day came, should would be paired up with somebody again.

⠀⠀Hana and I no longer had any connection, but the memory of our brief marriage was still fresh. It seemed she wanted more than anything to return to that obsessive love, that feeling of belonging with someone, this time, with someone new, and for good.

⠀⠀Next, Thalia and I were addressed. The Prime Minister gave us a choice: we could either go back to the basilica together, and be married in the eyes of Mother, or we could instead receive fake documents, so that in all records we would be husband and wife. We could even tell our families that Mother, in her infinite wisdom, had made a special exception for us and allowed us to stay together.

⠀⠀For both of us, the choice was clear. We didn’t need some artificial bond tethering us together to be happy. We already had a bond much stronger than that, even without Mother’s help.

⠀⠀We left the building hand in hand, wishing Hana well in her upcoming marriage and saying goodbye to her. For the both of us it felt like a weight had been lifted. Reflecting on what had just happened, it seemed that that brief meeting with the Prime Minister in which we received fake documents was our real wedding ceremony.

⠀⠀We stepped back into the world. Together because we wanted to be, not because Mother had intended it.

(The End).

uhhhh [1/2]

I couldn’t deal with my pretend asocial self, nor my hurting eyes, hunched over every kind of bright screen that I have, apathetically searching for any kind of excitement or entertainment. So I went to the nearby park.

It’s funny, seeing many there, that I imagine, are just like me. Everyone looks pathetic in their own unique ways – people raised in ways that suppress true human nature, both the good and the bad. And it’s no fault of one person or group, but society as a whole, which has normalized the abnormal. I believe in the intellectuals, as they call out the stupidity of society. Our society took the simple confusion of a few from the early 21st century, caused by the still not well understood new technology and media, and seeing it as an evolution of the human species. The 1% knew this very well and capitalized on it. And here I am, a nobody, looking upwards the trees made out of reclaimed ocean plastic.

Someone simply passing by greets me but with no real meaning behind it. As I turn around, I see that person greet his next victim behind me. A strange fellow. But I move forwards, heading elsewhere, where they would never dare go.

Deeper into the park, where the lights are dimmer – is a place made specially to be unwelcoming. A place where you might lose your belongings, your dignity, or worse. This place here is a little safe-space of danger, that we all unconsciously strive to protect.

I don’t have a real reason to be here… or that’s a lie I tell myself every time I come here. I believe my needs to be rather sophisticated. I like to think of myself quite favourably, but only until reality hits me off my high horse once again. But whenever I come here, I never see anyone else apart from my own shadow.

The stories that originate from these kind of places makes my insides cry from joy. All the dirtiness, the wrongness, the illegal things that happen here – they rearrange me in a way as if all of my soul’s missing pieces were still present. The excitement that we were robbed of can still happen. And it might happen to anyone – you, me, the ones you truly care about, or the ones you truly hate. Yet, I don’t truly understand what I am doing here.

Do I want those things to happen to me? No. Do I want to do something to someone else? Definitely no. Do I want to be a witness of something that can only happen here? I’m leaning towards no.

I am fascinated by the tales. But I fear for them to actually be real. When you live out a tale in your fantasies, things are… different. But reality isn’t a place where anything goes exactly as you wish it to. And that is off-putting in many ways making us, as a species, doubt our own desires, and, in confusion, try to repress our true human nature, even if they are harmless. Lost in my thoughts, I wander around here, where no one should really be. And for the first time I see that I am not alone.

A hunchbacked figure is sitting on a bench, with such long dark hair, begging to be trimmed up properly; unhealthily thin legs being choked by ripped jeans, cutting into the little flesh that there is. I can imagine how the blood-flow is completely cut off from the poor unfortunate lower legs. And the shirt is… proper?

My eyes scan the shirt, expecting to find something not quite normal. Viola! Found it! The shirt’s sleeves are too long. Way too long. Like half the length too long, but it took me a while to notice, as she sat on her hands.

To finally be able to see someone else in this place known for its unwelcomeness. Mesmerised by my findings, only now I realize that the really thin hunchbacked unhealthy-looking girl is looking back at me.

She looks so wrong. Like ill. Both physically and mentally. Like a drug addict that hasn’t lost her youthful look just yet. She looks like she’s open to the public as long as you give her something to get high off. But at the same time I believe that she isn’t like that. Why I would think that, I can’t say. But I imagine her as an asocial recluse, constantly bullied back at school, by kids that were still too young to understand what they were doing. And I imagine her so called friends going too far as to erase any kind of dignity that she had, ruining her social standing, always making sure she’s singled out no matter where and with whom she was – an object of ridicule, a piece of entertainment for the bored, an object to be lashed out on.

She fiddles around with her long sleeves as I carry myself with a stupid grin towards her, slightly nodding to myself for guessing – what in my mind seems to be – her life story. She can’t sit still, unsettled by me approaching. But she’s not running away. She’s not scared, but she also has yet to fully prepare for whatever might come next, be it a friendly, albeit slightly off, man, or a total creep, who’s after her body or more. She knows where she is, and she must know what she’s here for. And she’s putting all her courage to see it all to the end.

My sit down on the bench, my arm resting on the backrest. No matter what mountains I feel I could move right now, I still keep quite a distance away from the her. And this “arm on the backrest” thing I did makes me feel super embarrassed and I hope I don’t look too lame. Her upward gaze is asking me for my intentions, but anxiety is all I feel.

Now all I want to do is say “Sorry for bothering you, I’ll be off now. Have a nice evening,” but my chest tightens as I want to excuse myself, and my throat collapses on itself. By coincidence, our twitching smiles became part of an Olympic team of synchronized swimmers, though I know mine has too look way more awkward.

The exchange of smiles – it has shortened the distance between us, as if we both became closer. Though on closer inspection, we did become closer, as the distance between us shrank as she stealthily slid closer. My awkward stiffened smile, which had not left my face, could only get bigger as stress builds up.

For the remaining distance, she slides to my side, her bony pelvis hitting some kind of nerve, making my left leg inoperable for at least a couple of seconds. She puts her arm around my waist and looks into my eyes for the final confirmation and rests her head.

And we sit like this for quite a long while.

This is not what I had expected would happen. I don’t know what I expected, but this is clearly not it. Isn’t this place supposed to be amoral? Isn’t this the place where you go up and pick up women of a certain profession, or even those that do it as a hobby? Or at least, faking innocence, being all cutesy, then stabbing someone to death and stealing all their belongings? It feels like fifteen minutes have already passed, and she’s not doing anything more than hugging me. Don’t tell me she’s asleep…

I finally lower my arm from the bench’s backrest and put it around her, making her flinch a bit. Her heavy breath – it might be from simply getting frightened by my scary arm moving down onto her unsuspecting waist, but seeing that we’re in this dirty place, I imagine her panting from the electric feel of the opposite gender touching you. I can feel her body relax more as she snuggles closer.

I think I understand now – it must be lust that has fogged my mind. I really wanted to get rid of my fears and to become a terrible person, so I could do unspeakable things to her, and not only her.

She’s clearly innocent. This kind of pureness, like, she’s not supposed to be here. Not in this bubble of danger, not somewhere where shady people go to do shady things, a place where she could get abused and hurt.

“What’s your home like?” she asks.

That’s a bit out of the blue as a conversation starter.

uhhhh [2/2]

“Wow, you’re living alone?” she asks. “That’s so cool!” But her enthusiasm sizzles out. “I’m living with my older sister, and she has her boyfriend over today. It’s a one room flat. He gives her drugs and films her,” she says. “And then he tries hitting on me. And my sister, I’m getting scared of her. Because she’s starting to change. Last time, she said she’ll hit me if I refused her boyfriend again. So when I heard he was coming over…”

This sounds like something that should be reported to the police. But what will they do? These kinds of situations – they can’t prevent them. They act only after a crime is done, and even then, only if the victim contacts them with enough evidence at hand. And it’s already too late by that point. Some don’t even see the point in anything but ending it all.

I’m no hero either. I definitely won’t be able to help her. How could I even do that? There must be millions of unlucky people just like her. And help her? Why should I? I don’t know her. But why did she come here of all places?

Ah, I get it now. These probably aren’t even her clothes.

“Yeah. When I woke up, all my clothes were gone,” she says. “I can’t really understand how my sister could ever wear these kinds of skimpy pants. They’re too small even for me, so it must be a nightmare for her.

Maybe I’m too selfish,” she continues, “My sister is doing many bad things because that’s what pays our bills. And I’m just a leech, refusing to help her. Maybe if I helped her, she wouldn’t take up to drugs…”

Her smart-bracelet’s notification goes off. I can’t see what she sees, but she tears up.

“My sister says that her boyfriend’s friends came over and that I need to help her,” she says.

She stands up and wipes her tears off, “I have to go.”

And off she goes.

Wait a minute…

“Wai-wait, wait, wait,” I catch up with her. “Wait just one fucking moment. Are you for real? You’re going back there? Are you fucking mental?”

She ignores me so I grab her by the shoulder, “You hear me? You’re for real? You’re going back?”

“I don’t have a choice!”

“Wait but, seriously, you’re going to get raped.”

“So what?” she asks.

“So what? You’re just going back there?”

“Why should you care? You don’t even know me,” she says.

For the first time, I felt like a man, as stupid as it sounds. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing such a thing.

Completely driver by the spur of the moment I grab her by the hand and start leading her out of this shady dim part of the park. “Come with me.”

“But…” she says.

“Don’t worry. Just follow me.”

I rush back home, feeling like I’m the one in the wrong here, trying to abduct this long haired girl, while she is struggling to keep with my quick pace.

Once home, I lock the door and take a deep-breath. The girl is already exploring my flat.

“Wow, every room here is so new looking, even the toilet looks so clean,” she says.

Now, I don’t understand what she means by that. The apartment was renovated, but it was done around 13 years back, with a really small budget. The wallpapers and ceiling have a bleached out colour, compared to back then, and there are obvious glue marks as I crudely tried to mend the falling foam ceiling tiles. There are even big dark stains from when I used the wrong kind of glue, and many tiles have their corners peeking out, threatening to fall in a few months or sooner. The toilet, well, the white parts between the glossy tiles next to the toilet have turned yellow, and I leave it for you to deduct why.

“Our place is a relic from the 2020s. Couldn’t even wash the walls because the mouldy paint would fall off, and the owner would be fuming. The toilet is especially disgusting when it leaks sludge from time to time,” she says.

I never felt like belonging to the lower middle-class more than I do now.

“Can I use your shampoo?” she asks.

She sure made herself at home quite quickly.

I bring her some clothes and after she is done, go and have a bath myself. It’s too early for one, but I really want to wash all of that imaginary filth I brought back from that dimly lit shady place.

Done with the bath I enter my room only to find that she’s on my single-sized bed, hiding under my blanket.

“I prepared you a sofa in the next room,” I say.

“And?” she peaks from under the blanket.

“I don’t think we’ll both fit here.”

“We won’t know unless we try,” she says.

We do manage to both fit in my one-person bed, as long as we’re tightly glued to each other. I try intimidating her to leave my bed for the sofa that I had prepared earlier just for her. And those aren’t empty threats as I am a man, and I might lose control if she continues clinging to me with her semi-naked body.

“I have already steeled myself for whatever would have happened if I returned back home today,” she says, “So if you will, then… But I want to trust you. I have a lot of different feelings inside me right now. But I think I’m happy.

“You’re happy?” I ask.

“I feel like I’d be happy as long as I’m together with you,” she says.

“As in for the rest of your life?” I ask.

“Ha ha, are we exchanging marriage vows already?” she asks.

“Not yet, but maybe sometime in the future.”

“Hearing that makes me very happy, even if you’re not being sincere,” she says.

“Well, we did just meet today. But I don’t see it being a far-fetched future.”

“Then… what about a good night kiss?” she asks.

Her puppy eyes force me to push my lips against hers and call it a night. And she receives it very well, hugging me silly.

This moment is truly wonderful, and I can’t imagine anything better than simply falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

Valiant teen day

Pastels everywhere, shimmering on the surface of metal. The city was vibrant with color. From the biggest skyscrapers to the smallest automatic street light. A sheen of silver. All of it looked so polished. 

Shiak leaped through a whirlpool of zooming floaters, the older improvement of hovering bikes. 

It wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds - We; “we” being the creators of Zo-citah, code every transporter machine to respond to situations in a fraction of a millisecond, and even if you would get hit, it wouldn’t hurt.

Especially when your arm is hardware and wires.

Shiak eyed the house he was facing. A short, rectangular structure, not taking too much space in the center of the city. The roof, shaped like a giant blossom, a rose to be exact. It’s petals, static.

Come through the window with bouquets of roses, plastic and shiny. What’s more romantic than the flower of love? A version of it that can never die!

He climbed through the designed hole in the house’s side, popping both the bouquet and his head into the living room. A clatter and surprised zapping of sparks came from nearby.

“Shiak!”

A bot, a robot around a meter or two, slid into view with her limited wheel in place of legs. Small monitor swung from side to side as a head, switching from its neutral state to an exclamation mark. Arms, not quite human in design, were enough to showcase her surprise.

She slid in front of Shiak’s attempt at home intrusion to continue her words.

 “Goodness, what are you up to?”

Her voice was much like that of a compressed video, but not monotone. Sometimes when she became excited, her coding couldn’t keep up with her speech and she sounded like she was created in the 2300’s. 

Shiak looked at her, summoning his fullest, toothsome smile as he kept climbing in.

“I’m coming in through the window!”

The robot’s monitor goes back to the neutral expression of 0110.

“Yes, you are. But why?” She popped her head to the side, moving the antenna on top of it. 

“We have the latest model door.”

Shiak raised the bouquet in his hands while standing up.

“And the newest roof!”

He patted the dust off of his arm. Getting it stuck on his metal caused it to look strange, since he had just got his robot pieces cleaned.

He leaned closer to the non-organic lady.

“You’re so smart, Odiny.”

He snuggled his face against her narrow screen head. She returned the gesture, her mini-tv showing a heart on it. They hugged, embracing softly to not bend the plastic flowers. 

Shiak pulled away.

“These last three weeks have been awesome!” He moved his free human arm into a hook in front of him. 

“But I really am ready for Clank to come back.”

Odiny nodded, her screen bobbing backward and forth in an animated pattern.

“Me too. It just isn’t the same without him.”

“Good thing he’ll be here soon!” Shiak jumped in place, happy. “Everything else is ready, right?”

Odiny answered the smile with a cute whirr of electricity.

“Of course.”

She rolled over to the house’s small control panel, a small plate on the wall with palm-sized buttons for quick and easy room changing. Pressing a button labeled “kitchen” turned the living room into a kitchen, the kitchen into a bedroom, so on and so forth. With smaller houses like these, it saved space.

The insides of the house rotated, replacing sofa cushions with cookbooks and table chairs. Shiak and Odiny now stood in the middle of a small kitchen/eating area.

They filled the table with rustic bolt muffins, licorice, a curved, yellow punch bowl of motor oil. Even salad, just for good measure. The main event was the medium-sized cake, chocolate on the surface, with quartz toppings in the shape of stars. 

Shiak smiled more. Which should have been impossible for humans if it wasn’t for the amazing strength of cartoony cyborg machinery.

“Odiny! This looks great! “

He jumped over, staring at the dinner table like a kid who had just discovered what candy is. The only difference was that he was 23.

He drummed his hands on the side of the table in joy.

“I didn’t know the pastries I made could look this nice!”

Odiny saved the flowers from the fate of being left behind, making sure the plastic stayed just as shiny as before.

“I’ll put the blossoms on the dinner table, too.”

“Odiny, you’re so smart!”

He spun to her, giving her a tighter squeeze while she placed the flowers into a tube on the table. Automatic flower-holders were a marvellous invention.

---

“How long now?”

“He just left the terminal!”

Shiak made a noise similar to squealing as he held Odiny’s hands.

“Finally!”

They waited by the door, looking at it like two puppies waiting for their family to come back from a tough day of work. 

Steps from outside, the sound of metal hitting metal with a harmonious yet loud clang. design shoes hitting the pavement of material still unknown.

Clank stopped in place for the mandatory scan one can only bypass if they use a different route to get in. A green light allowed him to pass. 

He walked to the front steps.

A door with no doorbell, but it was unnecessary. Clank moved his hand to use his middle and index finger to swipe a card through the door’s lock.

It clicked. Whirring to life, the door creaked itself open. Shiak and Odiny waited behind, standing up as if commanded.

In the silence, Clank stepped inside, moving his dark hat off of his head.

“I’m home.”

“Clank!”

Shiak jumped and hugged Clank, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

“Happy valiant teen day!”

Clank stumbled, trying to get his balance back. 

He stared at Shiak. Black hair filled his view, so it was difficult to see Shiak’s face.

“... What?”

Odiny moved closer, bopping her screen.

“The day of love.”

He put Shiak on the ground.

What an odd name for a holiday.

Odiny shifted her icon into a question mark.

“It could be Valen-tean day, but it’s hard to say.”

Yes, all they knew was the spelling. And who knows how language had changed in such a long time?

Shiak clapped his hands together.

“Whatever it is, it’s today, just like Clank is!” His eyes were like little stars, shining with such cheerful light that they almost hurt to look at.

Clank gave him a smile. He stepped to the side. Removing his hat and coat, he placed them within a wardrobe. There was a distinct feel to him now, but that was one reason both Odiny and Shiak liked about him.

He was himself when he was with them.

They guided Clank to the kitchen table with their tasty pastries and pretty flowers. Truly, the hors d’oeuvres looked even better now that they were all together.

Clank rubbed the back of his hand.

“Aww... You didn’t need to do this.”

Shiak used the punch bowl’s ladle to give Clank a cup full of motor oil.

“DIdn’t need to?! You deserve to be spoiled!” 

Shiak kissed him on the cheek. Metal. Clank leaned over, and Odiny pecked him on the cheek as well, her monitor displaying that adorable heart.

Clank took the offered drink. Quickly, Shiak filled two more glasses and gave one to Odiny.

“We should toast!” He said, raising his glass. “For Clank! For us!”

Clank chuckled.

“For love.”

Odiny’s icon turned into a musical note as she joined in Clank’s laughter.

“That is adorable!”

Shiak moved his head just like Odiny.

“Let’s do it then!”

They all raised their glasses, moving them closer together. Shiak’s eyes glimmered like the stars. His smile became wide once more.

“One, two…!”

Three glasses clinking like wind chimes. The sound of celebration.

2/14/21

Point Turned (Short Story)

NG Val-21 Writing Contest Entry

©QAN 2021

01

“What? Again?!”

She’s so beautiful, yet it’s the music in her voice that speaks to me more than those lovely curves. I’m told that the showing of bare flesh was very common in olden times. Those stories in books and from the vastly aged, sounds so free and fun. Now, I have to steal these moments with my love through technology. It’s frowned upon, but not illegal, so I get as much mileage as possible from it. Thankfully, she doesn’t mind.

“I was talking about the tub, but if you really wanna…”

“Tub it is.”

“Hold on a sec.”

Yes. I’m stalling. There is much about her that is impressive:

1.) She knows how to argue without turning things into a blood war.

2.) She has fully functional brain cells and is unafraid to use them.

3.) She puts up with my short-comings, but doesn’t make things worse.

It’s a longer list, but time stands still enough while I admire her form. Try as I might, this doesn’t get boring.

“I know you have tremendously high standards, but I’m improving.”

“True on both counts. You don’t need to try so hard though. Come on in. This can be fun, too.”

And it is. The work on this place took awhile. I’m happy with the bathroom the most though. It’s original state was a nightmare. It’s such a load off to be able to come in here and relax. Soaking with her in this tub is bliss. The old one looked like it was a murder vat.

“My parents want to visit.”

Unexpected. I shouldn’t court or marry out of my “station” rings in my mind. As was told to me by her mother.

“If they found out we’ve wed, they would surely put a hit out on me.”

“Don’t ruin the mood. A lot of time has passed.”

“They’ve longer memories, babe. Wait, why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t want you going out the window this time.”

“Yeah. Not my finest moment. I promise to use the fire escape.”

Her sigh tells me that she is not pleased, but she’s smart enough to know this isn’t a good idea any day of the week. Has something changed?

“I told them.”

2/14/21

Point Turned (Short Story)

NG Val-21 Writing Contest Entry

©QAN 2021

02

It takes a lot of willpower to not jump out of this water and flee.

“Why don’t you kick me in the head a few times, so I can sleep through their time here?”

“I just might. Look, they just want to make amends.”

“Apologizing isn’t their style.”

“They know they’ve been mean. Just let them--”

The doorbell rings. I feel like a four year old who’s just realized the bully has snuck up on them.

“Get dressed! They’re here!”

Without making much mess, she exits the tub and dashes to the sink. This is when I notice two boxes on the edge. She opens hers, squeezing what’s inside to instantly hide her birthday suit with a hip-hugging dress. The other one must be for me. There’s that gray matter of hers at work.

“You planned this.”

“Get moving, please.”

I take my sweet time cleaning up.

2/14/21

Point Turned (Short Story)

NG Val-21 Writing Contest Entry

©QAN 2021

03

Her parents are standing close together, holding a well-wrapped present. The smiles they wear exude a warmth I’ve never seen from them. It’s hard for me to process.

“Hi! We just wanted to see how you two were doing, and give you this.”

My hands are shaking. This makes the wrapping pop like those air pocket toys the kids of the day are so into. The gift is an old piece of tech my grandfather would often tell me about. Something he called a “Wayplaytion”. They were these electronic boxes that provided an interactive video game experience to the user. Our closet tunnels do that without the limitations of the button-mashing of old, but to see one that isn’t a replica, is rare. It must’ve cost a more than we paid for this house. I know they come from ancient money, but no one in this room, save for me, gives two eye blinks about something like this. The air in the room is weirdly nice. I’m having a hard time trying not to smile.

“Thank you. This is very generous. I hope it didn’t set you back.”

“We know you’re into relics. Plus, it’s long past time we welcomed you proper.”

They each hug me like I’m a human being. It’s the first time. No joke. I’m more shocked at that than the gift. They are acting like there’s a bundle of joy on the way. I’m not one to be asleep at the switch, so what’s going on here? A whisper in my ear helps me focus.

“There’s been some changes in my family. It’s made them realize what’s important. We’ll talk later.”

“Are you pregnant?’

“No. That’s not something I’d keep from you.”

“Good to know.”

“Hey mom, let me show you what we’ve done with the place.”

I’m left in the room with her father, who is strangely quiet.

“Did you want me to order something from that place you like?”

“No thanks. I did want to talk to you. Sit down.”

The last time he wanted me to sit down? We got into an argument that nearly led to a fight.

“You’ve treated my daughter with the respect she deserves. I’m glad to be wrong about you.”

I shake his extended hand.

“I still think I could take you, kid.”

“There is a gym nearby, if you really want to find out.”

We share a laugh. It’s the first, of what I hope to be, many more.

To Remember the Thing that Cannot Last

The man stared at the thing and said nothing. His eyes combed over its features, searching for answers to questions too painful to ask. What he believed he saw was an imperfect approximation of a woman – something akin to a beginner artist’s attempt at photorealism. All the elements were there. Eyes, teeth, hair. And yet, a thing.

I didn’t ask for this the thing said, and the man knew this to be true. The sound of its voice stirred emotions sitting just beneath his throat and now he wanted to cry or scream. But he knew that would change nothing. They would still be a man and a thing, with a thousand unspoken things between them.

When he had pictured this moment, he thought it would sound like her. That some small feature of her would carry through, a cadence or a timbre or a pronunciation. The thing’s voice held no such similarity and now he was faced with a reality crueler than his imagination had provided. He heard a voice that had death in it, where each word was an ending, spoken against his past.

The man slumped in his chair, deflating into himself. The faded red carpet and dated furnishings of the things apartment only further lowered his spirits. He couldn’t truly hate something that lived in such depressing circumstances. He wanted to ask why it lived in this sad place, but that felt too intimate to ask, even of a thing.

Instead, he just said I don’t know why I’m here.

The thing wanted to reach out and comfort the man, but for more reasons than could ever be counted, this could not happen. It shifted out of its chair and moved to the window, to put space between them. You came here because you thought I might be her it said.

I’m not.

The man nodded at this. In some ways, hearing it spoken plainly was easier. It was a fact now – his wife was dead. Somehow, hearing this opened him up and he found himself explaining how he had come to be here. He described the letter he had received from the research hospital. He took each of the medicalized terms he had memorised and recounted them. “Feasible memories were harvested”. “A system of memory analysis has had some success”. “Your wife’s has made a significant contribution to science through her donation”.

After that, he had heard nothing. The research hospital ignored his messages. His calls bounced from department to department. He desperately needed to know what this meant. Were her memories out in the world somewhere? Was she out there?

And then the news broke that the memory access clinical trial had been discontinued. The news reporter said it was due to “ethical concerns” and little interest was paid to it. The man was told the non-disclosure agreements for the project were binding and the records were shut. He was not entitled to know what had happened to those memories.

After months of pleading phone calls, the man found a sympathetic researcher who told him that the research had borne an output.

That researcher, he said, told me if I came to this apartment, I would find some… thing that would give me closure. The thing bristled as the man reached this point, and under a glaring eye, he paused.

That thing he sent you to find she said, was me.

The man regretted his words. The woman who may be a thing softened after a moment and offered to tell him what she knew.

On the first day of a cold winter, the researchers ran a successful test of an AI’s ability to read a stored memory. On that first cold day of winter, an AI program answered rudimentary questions about the details of a memory. And that first cold day of winter, was the woman who was once a thing’s first day of life.

There was no way researchers could have known what connecting this database of human experiences to advance computer software could mean. However, in that moment, the woman had gone from a thing that existed to a thing that knew it existed. And that was a terrible difference.

Once the researchers realized what they had done, they knew the clinical trial had to be stopped. This led to a trial of a different sort beginning, one that occurred behind closed doors. This would be where her fate was decided. They gave her a rudimentary body, a physical embodiment of personhood, but at the trial she was not allowed to speak. A lawyer spoke for her, argued that she was a her. Not software or programming, but a her.

The trial was arduous and led to two very different conclusions. The first ruling was that she was sentient, which she understood to mean she should be free. The second ruling was that she was intellectual property. With this, she knew her life could never be her own.

To reconcile these rulings, she had been deposited here to live in secret. She could exist here, but little more of life was offered to her. What life was there for a creature with no past, just the borrowed moments from another life? As the man listened to this, he pitied her, almost as acutely as he pitied himself.

She could see the pity in his eyes and the pity hurt her, and so she spoke in bitter tones.

I have your wife’s memories inside me but I’m not her. I’m just an empty vessel… a nothingness. I carry a pain that can never be my own. I live as a surrogate that is nothing but an imitation of a half-remembered thing. So I’m sorry you came here, expecting to find a dead wife. I hope you’re not disappointed with the cold shade you found instead.

In the silence that followed, the man’s hand found hers, as if by instinct, and held it. No words passed between them. Together they weathered the cruel conditions that afflicted them. Then, the man left and the woman was certain she would not see him again.

And yet, soon after he called her. He had found her number long ago, but he hadn’t had the courage to call ahead. As she listened to him on the phone, she recognized the danger she found herself in, connected to another person. Not just any person, but a person who she knew from a life she had never lived.

They began to meet, infrequently and tentatively at first. The man didn’t ask about the memories she kept, but instead drew her out. She found herself being consoled for her loneliness and alienation by this kindred spirit, unable to stop herself being drawn to a shared sadness. They walked through forsaken buildings and abandoned places, feeling kinship with these places that had lost their purpose.

Despite seeing each other, both guarded themselves. They recognized the precarious situation they found themselves in. The vulnerability of a grieved lover. The naivety of a not-quite human person. They silently chose to be acquaintances with a shared pain. They treated their time together like a therapy, or an AA meeting. A place to share a connection with a stranger, a safe connection in a dangerous world.

And then, on an early morning of a summer soon to be cut short, the man received a call from the woman. Her voice sounded like an ending, and she said she was going to the hospital. She didn’t ask him to come but he knew he would anyway. Being at the hospital felt like the past and present colliding at a point within the man’s chest. He didn’t say anything about that to her.

The consultant they met talked about “memory degradation” in a dispassionate monotone. It was a problem, and it was happening to the woman. The consultant talkeds about a time when there are no memories left to degrade. He did not know what happens at that point. Nobody knows. That information lives in a blank space, equally as blank as the space where the woman’s memories would be. The similarities between these two things was funny to the man. It was so funny that he thought he might die.

The consultant told them that the woman can be taken care of at the hospital, but the man cuts him off.

Reflexively, he says that he will take care of her. His hand is pressed against hers and he’s not sure when that happened.

You don’t owe me anything, the woman who was once a thing says.

I know.

-------

At a time closer to an end, the woman lays on a bed. She is rapidly filling up with nothingness, an empty vessel now somehow emptier than before. Without turning, she tells the man that she doesn’t have any of his wife’s memories anymore. Each of those moments has unwound, and now she can feel her own moments slip away from her in the same way. She turns to him, angrily now, tears welling in her eyes. Why couldn’t you just ask? That’s all you had to do, and now your chance is gone.

The man sits on the edge of the bed and thinks. After a moment he says, there’s nothing I needed to know.

He moves closer, caressing the woman’s back. He can feel her slipping away from him each day, but he’s savoring the moments he can. She’s doing the same, but she knows she in a race against nothingness that she cannot win.

In a quiet voice, she says,

There isn’t much of me left now. Why do you stay?

He can see the expression on her face reflected in a window. It’s the face she makes when she can’t help but remember that even this moment she’s living right now will one day be lost to her. She knows she is slipping away faster each day into an oblivion that will consume her entirely.

The man wraps his arms around the woman. Not a thing, or his wife, just a woman who is unwinding before his eyes. A woman who’s entire world in that moment can be summed in minutes, or hours spent with him. A woman who is chased by oblivion but who in this moment, is cared for and loved.

The man says I stay because I want to,

And he knows this to be true.

The Windmill Valley (1)

The mid 1950s were not a good decade for the steam locomotives. After the creation of their diesel and electric counterparts, the industry witnessed a serious decline. Railroads were starting to be closed, and then rebuilt or abandoned. Many people quit their jobs, moving to the new locomotives or just giving up on trains due to their lack of specialization in the new technology.

The cloudy trail of steam could be seen behind the green hills and trees of the Windmill Valley, and everyone who lived close to the Peace Station could listen to the unmistakable whistle of the locomotive when it was time to take many passengers to a ride around the wild life of the valley. This was the Grain Express, one of the few passenger trains in the country with a steam based locomotive. Its memorable red and silver colors, shining the reflex of the sunlight to someone that even lived away from the station could notice, and its sharp and solid design were all reminiscent of what the iconic design of the old steam locomotives looked like. The difference is that the locomotive itself was more spacious than regular steam locomotives, and had a more modern design look that resembled these of an electric locomotive. The express travelled through the Union Railroad, which besides passing by the Peace Station, also went to Velvet Station, that was located next to a big city where many of the townsfolk would travel to. In contrast, not many people from the city would board in the Grain Express. Truthfully, the only passengers were friends and family of those who lived in Windmill Valley.

It was another work day for the employees of the Union Railroad. The refreshing wind of the valley that came in this season of the year really was the favorite time of the townsfolk to ride the train, so there was a lot of work to be done. Some early birds already got in the station early in the morning and purchased their tickets in the booth, and were just waiting for the train to stop by. Once the train finally stopped, everyone would, one by one, enter inside. The conductor would welcome everyone in, and show each one the seat. A really charming fellow, according to many of them. If you were to ride the Grain Express for the first time, you would learn and never forget that his name is Jamie in that same day.

With all the passengers on board, the train was ready to take on the tracks. “All aboard!”, Jamie shouted, while the express started moving and whistle. During the entire ride, you could see Jamie going from one wagon to another, left and right, asking for tickets, offering costumer service, and periodically entering and leaving the locomotive. He did this the entire ride, every single ride, and he only would stop between stops and during lunch time. All of this was done with an honest smile that was shared with all the passengers he would attend.

The train eventually stopped at the Velvet Station, and most of the passengers walked down here. Soon, Jamie’s voice could be heard through the train’s speakers: “Attention passengers of the Grain Express. The next take off will take a few minutes longer than the usual. The train must be supplied with fuel. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for travelling with us today.”. Jamie then soon stepped down onto the station to receive the supplies and talk with the provider. “Good morning, Elliot.”. “Jamie!”. They performed a strong looking high five and handshake, followed by a hug. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all night yesterday over the phone to talk about last night’s baseball game! Don’t you ever answer the phone?”. “Elliot…”, Jamie sighed, “I already told you many times that I don’t have a telephone.”. “What? But how about that number you gave me last week?”. Jamie laughed, “That’s the number of the fireworks factory’s costumer service. I needed you to check if they had the fireworks needed for the anniversary, remember?”. “Dude…”. Elliot covered his face with his palm. “Is there anything that you talk about that isn’t about this train?”. “What can I do… it’s all I have left. And now that I committed so much to keep it, I’m not going back.”.

While they were chatting, Elliot noticed that someone was going to board the train. “Hey, Jamie. There she is.”. Jamie slowly looks behinds him. A young and woman, straightening her hair, carrying her suitcase inside. She is always looking away from where there is people around, even sometimes looking on the ground. “She looks very strange, don’t you think?”, says Elliot. “Yes… I’ve been worried about her. I will try to talk with her today.”. The express has just finished being restocked. “Well, good luck buddy. No one I know would ever pass on even meeting you.”. The two friends give another high five, and both get back to their work.

The girl stepped inside the Grain Express, and took her seat before departure. She couldn’t help but do a meekly smile as she was welcomed with the sweet aroma of coffee that infested the wagon, and feel admired the beauty and comfort of the interior of the wagon. The beautiful whistle of the train then is heard by all the passengers, it’s time for the train to go again. The girl was anticipating to see the sparkling body of water of the valley, along with the hills that get bluer and bluer the further they get from her, and the beautiful bird cries when the train goes among the trees. Her expectations are soon satisfied, and she is delighted with the sight of Windmill Valley’s landscape once again. She tried her best to not lose herself into it, and opened her suitcase to take some drawing materials. She sighed with an inspiring air before starting to work.

Jamie then comes to the wagon she was in. He takes a glimpse at his golden pocket watch, and as always, just in time to ask for the train tickets. He was especially eager to request the tickets in this wagon, and hopeful to see the girl. Kindly asking for the tickets to all passengers, he finally came to see the intriguing girl who is always drawing while riding the train, almost every day. When Jamie was about to ask for her tickets, she immediately slides the ticket through the table, and quickly returns to focus on her art, without making any kind of eye contact. Jamie had a bewildered face, and although he wanted to talk with her, he knew he had work to do. So, he quickly left her and went to ask for the other tickets in the other wagons. “Why is she like that? Does she dislike me? Have I done something to her… or haven’t I done enough?”.

Worried about the behavior of the girl, Jamie wait until a bit later to attempt to talk with her. He brings along with him some hot water and soluble coffee, as well with a couple of cups, from the locomotive to her table. “Excuse me, may I sit here with you?”, says Jamie, holding the tray with the ingredients for the coffee. The young girl stops drawing, and takes some seconds to actually look at Jamie. “Yes.”, she says, in a very soft voice, so low that Jamie could have not understood if she hadn’t nodded too.

The Windmill Valley (2)

He puts the tray on the table, and sits in the seat facing her. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”, as he pours the water in his cup. She responds that she is not very fond of coffee. “I prefer other kind of hot beverages.”. Jamie almost sighs in relief for bringing grounded coffee instead of brewing his own back in the locomotive. He offers the girl just some hot water, which she kindly accepts. She then gets a tea bag from one of her pockets and puts it in the cup, and then some of the hot water. Jamie found this quite unusual. “Why do you bring a tea bag with you?”. She responds, “I like to drink tea just before I come back home. Instead of ordering from the tea shop, I just ask for hot water and prepare my own. It’s cheaper this way.”. Jamie let out a small laugh, but the girl seemed somewhat serious about it. He awkwardly stopped. “What’s your name?”. “Charlie.”. “That’s a pretty name.”. “Thank you.”. After a few seconds of silent hot beverage sipping, she felt obligated to ask back. “What’s your name?”. “Jamie”. “A very sweet name.”.

The conversation was starting to get very interesting, but just before Jamie lost himself into the conversation, he realized that he was the conductor of a train which haven’t finished their work for the day yet. “Well, I must go. Hope you enjoy the ride.”. He quickly picks up the tray and quickly take it to the locomotive room, leaving Charlie behind with her hot tea. She gives a big sigh, and packs her possessions back in her suitcase, so she can step down at the station that was soon to come. She usually stays longer, but today she wasn’t feeling much inspired.

The next day, at the same time of the day, Charlie boards into the express again. Just like every other day, she takes her possessions to her usual table and gets ready to drawing. Jamie once again enter into her wagon. When he went to request her ticket, he actually got the chance to ask for it. “Ticket please.”. She then hands him the ticket, and gets back to drawing. Curious, Jamie asked Charlie what she was drawing. She tells him she’s drawing the landscape where the train goes through in the valley. Jamie asks to take a look at it, and Charlie complies the request. Jamie’s eyes were expressively opened at the sight of what it looked like many time invested into a very impressive artwork. You almost couldn’t believe that she drew a landscape of the valley with just a black pencil. Jamie asks how can she draw when the train is always quickly moving. She says that she just takes the liberty of imagining what the parts of the valley that she can’t see or remember look like. Jamie also came back with hot water, asking if she had brought a tea bag this time too. She did, and she thanked him for his kindness.

Jamie started to grow some interest in Charlie, and started to chat with her more, keeping the job aside for a bit. He asked her about her routine. Specifically, what she worked on. She said that she was an artist. Not the professional kind of one, but she told him that it’s the only thing she knows for sure that she is capable of. He was curious if she got a lot of money for these drawings. She told him that these drawings were more of practice and self-enjoyment, as she was really passionate about the nature of the valley, remarking that it was nothing like she has ever seen before. From that, Jamie could tell that she wasn’t from Windmill Valley, or even from the big city. He then asks Charlie where she lives. She then reveals to Jamie that she is not from the region. She has recently moved, due to some complications regarding the place she lived in. She also commented that working with art was hard around here, as it seemed like no one was interested in her work, or in any art work, for that matter. Jamie noticed that she was starting to get upset entering in this subject. He explained to her that this might be because of some complications related to the situations of the steam locomotive trains during that decade. Jamie took his time to explain all the situation to her. Charlie, stopping her drawing and actually paying attention to Jamie’s explanation, was in surprise after the explanation, saying she had no idea that things were going that way. She confessed, even, that she has never entered in a train before moving in. She has only heard of trains from her parents, and always dreamed of riding one.

The more they were talking with each other, the more they learned about themselves. “So you really like tea over coffee?”. “Yes.”, she responded, “It helps to keep the anxiety away, and helps me to not lose the focus while drawing.”. “How about your… seemingly unhealthy passion for coffee?”, she asks, chuckling afterwards. “I just love coffee. I mean, the coffee bean. For me, it’s the most powerful grain of all. Their smell is just fantastic, and I feel like living a dream, which I am: conducting this train. All besides the fact that it helps me to stay awake and do my job with the least breaks possible.”. The glorification of a grain almost had Charlie’s eyes rolling, but she couldn’t help to be filled with wonder, somehow. “That doesn’t seem very safe for yourself…”, she responds, “…specially since you seem to drink it all day, every single day, telling by the smell of coffee here.”. “Oh, no. The smell of coffee this train has doesn’t comes from the coffee I prepare.”. “Then where does it come from?”, she asks. Jamie becomes a bit skeptical to answer her question. He looks around, and asks Charlie: “Can you keep this as a secret?”. She immediately nods, and gets closer to listen to him.

“This express does not run on usual combustible; such as coal or firewood. Oh no, it runs on coffee!”. She smiled, gave a small laugh, but didn’t believe him. “I’m serious! The owner of the railroad, Mr. Jones, told to all the workers of the station that he would stop investing in coal to run the locomotive. He told us that when the reserve we had were depleted, he would officially close the station, and scrap the Grain Express for a new, electric train.”. Charlie was terrified. “To have such a beautiful and charming train to be mercilessly scrapped like that!”, she thought. “It’s been half a year since that day. The train has still been running thanks to the collaboration of all the workers, but less and less people have helped on maintaining our coal reserve, either because they moved to other stations or felt like there was no hope for this poor machine. That, until eventually no one except me was paying for the coal in the train.” The hot water was ready, and they took a break to fill their cups with their favorite drinks. “Cheers.”, both said to each other, and took a sip off their warm beverages.

“Due to coal being really expensive, and that wouldn’t allow me to keep up with the regular maintenance of the train, I started to purchase coffee instead, and use it as combustible. Thankfully, coffee has been in a stable price lately and I can afford taking care of all the train’s needs. I also can treat myself to a lunch every day, luckily.”, he finishes, with a joyful laugh. Charlie laughed with him, although her eyes showed a hint of worry and pity. “Well, if all that you said is true, you really have to show me how the locomotive operates someday… That honestly sounds like fiction.”. Jamie gave Charlie a warm smile. He felt something warm within his heart. Perhaps he finally found someone to trust himself to. Maybe the satisfaction of have finally settled things with this mysterious girl. It could also be that his coffee was past the point of comfortably hot. Whoops.

The Windmill Valley (3)

“Oh my...”, exclaimed Charlie, realizing what time it was when they finished talking. It was almost evening! They spent too long talking to each other in the train. Jamie didn’t even realize that the last passenger had already left half an hour ago. “I’m so sorry, I ended up dragging your time here in the train.”, he said. “It’s okay”, she answered, “I actually enjoyed the conversation. Besides, it’s not like there is anything important for me to do after all the passengers are gone.” While Jamie accompanied Charlie to the exit of the station, he asked her: “Where do you live, anyway?”. She tells him that she pays a small daily rent to live in a very small room in an inn. She is running out of money. Before leaving, Charlie asked him: “Hey… how old are you again?”. “Twenty years old. How about you?” She tells him that she is 19, but is going to become 20 years old as well next weekend.

Under the sunset, they waved at each other as Charlie went back to the city and Jamie headed back to the train, planning to stay for the night, as he did like every other night. But as he was about to enter, he noticed a suspicious looking shadow casted by someone behind one of the big coffee bean containers. He took slow steps to see what or who was behind there. His alert stance quickly turns into light disbelief to see that it was just Elliot, who were spying on him when he left the train. “Elliot? What are you doing here?” “H-hey dude! I was just taking a rest from pushing all these big boxes around… But man, when I saw you with the strange girl... I knew you were a quick friend maker, but you know how the get the girls too? You are on fire!”. Jamie didn’t comment, maintaining a serious expression. Elliot decides to drop the topic entirely. “Yeah… well, can we go inside? There’s some stuff we need to talk about.”.

Inside the train, under the light of its fancy oil lamps, they discussed about the upcoming festival. “So, have you got all the fireworks?”. “Yeah! And I took care of the food and decorations too.”. “Excellent!”, Jamie smiled in relief, as he said that it was a great relief that Mr. Jones was going to cover all the bills and costs to hold the commemoration of the railroad’s 67th anniversary. “Speaking about Mr. Jones… He is coming next week to talk with you about the locomotive. It’s about the deal with the coal.”. “Oh dear, not again… Hopefully he will not want to insist more than ten times to let me give up from the train, hahaha.”. The topic of commemorations and weekdays reminded Jamie to ask Elliot a favor. “Elliot, could you close the Velvet Station next weekend? I know it’s a weird request, but there is something that I would like to do for a friend.”. “Ahh yeah, ‘friend”, hehe.”. Jamie looked at Elliot with an annoyed look. “Alright fine, don’t worry buddy. But what will I say if anyone asks about it?”. “Tell them that preparations for the anniversary event must be made, and that the station is temporarily closed for the weekend.”. “Got it!”. Elliot, was ready to leave, but then felt like asking: “Hey… How about the engineer? Will he stay here that day?”. “Yes, don’t worry, he won’t mind.” “Dude really spends his entire life inside that locomotive. He’s more of a train nutty than you! No fair that he only lets you enter there.”. “Yeah…”. After some more chatter, Elliot said bye to Jamie and went home.

The following days weren’t very good to Charlie. Without any hopes of finding a job or get a way to earn money. She soon ran out of money to pay the inn to stay in a room during the night, and with barely any money to feed herself. She almost couldn’t go through it, and was at the point of crying. She still believed, however, that she could change her situation. She had to. One day she couldn’t stand it anymore, and vented all that was going through her life to Jamie during one their rides. Jamie was really worried about Charlie, and decided to help her until she could get a job. She would sleep in the last wagon at every night, away from the other passengers’ access, and he would take a bit of the investing money to provide Charlie with three daily meals. Charlie would thank him, but also would be worried about the state of the train. Jamie would tell her to not worry, because the train could stand some time without being invested on.

The day finally came for Charlie’s birthday. She wasn’t as jolly as one would usually be in their birthday. If anything, acknowledging that she is spending her birthday in such conditions made it even worse. She wakes up, and instead of awakening with the valley’s seagull singing from the morning, she was welcomed back from her sleep with a delicious smell of buttered toast and sweet herb tea. She then started to look for Jamie between wagons. She is then greeted with a surprise. Jamie has prepared a special breakfast for Charlie. Both enjoyed the meal with much happiness.

Charlie soon realized she woke up a bit later than usual, which worried her a bit, since she still was in her PJs and the station would soon open for everyone to ride the train. Charlie was alarmed, but was soon calmed by Jamie who told her that they weren’t opening today. When she asked why, Jamie, with a kiddingly tone, told her that today was a special holiday. And to commemorate, they would also be doing some special activities. Charlie found this all funny, yet amusing, and printed her interested. After they have finished their breakfast, she went back to the last wagon to change clothing so they could enjoy her birthday.

The train was in its way to one of the valley’s lakes. It was going in a very slow pace. Jamie invited Charlie to get to the top of the wagon. “The top of the wagon?!”, she exclaimed. Jamie didn’t answer, just held her hand, and took her up there. Each wagon had trap door on the ceiling with a ladder that could be used to get on the top. The two then did so, and got to the top. Charlie was a bit anxious, the first thing she thought about is how easily it would be for her to fall off the train because a clumsy oversight. For some reason, she wouldn’t feel much anxious when Jamie was holding her hand. They sat down, and spent the ride watching the landscapes. Jamie did Charlie the favor of carrying her suitcase the way up too. While they watched the mountains, the sky and the windmills, Charlie was drawing, and Jamie was just appreciating the view, something he didn’t use to do much during his work. He forgot about the beauty that the valley held, and thought how lucky it was to have a train that goes through one of the prettiest places of the land. Jamie then became curious about what Charlie was drawing. Charlie was a bit reluctant to show it, but after insisting, Jamie got to see it. He imagined that she was drawing the landscape, but to his surprise, not only she drew the valley, but Jamie was in the drawing as well. “Do I really look like that?”. “That’s how I think you look like.”. Jamie didn’t comment, but he liked the drawing very much.

The rest of the day summed up to the conductor and the artist having fun around Windmill Valley. Eventually the train finally went to the lake of the valley. The water was not too cold, but not too hot, which was perfect for swimming. Jamie invited Charlie to swim, and although Charlie wasn’t very comfortable in principle, she enjoyed it after spending just sometime at the shore. Later, they took a rest inside the train and talked all morning about their favorite musical genres. While Jamie preferred the smooth jazz, Charlie preferred the recently upcoming rock n’ roll. Jamie never heard about rock n’ roll before, so Charlie promised that one day she would show him some of her favorite songs at the city.

The Windmill Valley (4)

After finally getting the train to the Velvet Station, they left to get some delicious hamburgers for takeout at a burger shop, and brought them back to the train and then lunched there. Charlie took this opportunity to talk about something she had in mind ever since the day she started to sleep in the train. She was worried about the engineer finding out that she sleeps in the train. Jamie insisted that the engineer didn’t care for it, and Charlie seemed alarmed. “Did you tell the engineer about me?!”. “No…”. Jamie realized that if he didn’t tell her the truth, she would continue anxious about it for as long as she would spend her days living in the train. “If you promise to not tell anyone, I will show the secret of the Grain Express.”. She promised, and then he took her hand and walked with her to the lead wagon, where they would enter in the locomotive.

“Are you ready?”. “Yes.”.

Both enter inside, and Charlie has no idea what’s coming. She listens to the organized sounds of marbles rolling through steel tracks, the sound of clockwork gears grinding, and witness the sight of many pieces of mundane objects in harmony working together. She is amazed by the rhythmic organization of all these pieces that make the train work for itself. It automatically toots the whistle, fuels the locomotive with the sacks of coffee beans, and picks directions all at once! Charlie was amazed like she never was in life. “This is fantastic!”. She couldn’t help herself but waltz around along with the rhythm the machine worked in the sunset-lit room and watch as everything goes into motion. “This is a dream come true! The train is alive!”. She spent many minutes looking around. “Jamie! This is all incredible! A true work of art! I… I just am in a loss for words! How did you make this?”. “With hard work and passion… and several coffee cups, hahaha!”. She sincerely laughed along with him. “If people ever knew about this… you would become famous!”. “I guess I would… Too bad It would get me fired if someone ever knew!”. After appreciating all the magic of a train that is alive, Charlie surely started to love the train almost as much as Jamie did.

At evening, the train was taking the two back to the Peace Station. The two were sitting together on the top of one of the wagons again. The night was a bit too cold, but too pretty to refuse staying outside. The stars were brighter than ever, and the full moon looked like it closely watched the two together. To bear with the coldness, they shared the same blanket, while they watched for the stars. They were also drinking their favorites: hot coffee and tea. “This was the best birthday I have ever had. Thank you, Jamie.”.

Jamie felt like asking Charlie about how the search for her job was going. It wasn’t going well according to her. Every day she starts to believe more and more that she isn’t cut for being an artist. “I mean, I can draw and everything. But is that enough? People just walk by, see your art, maybe give a kind comment, but that’s it. They don’t see what you see, you know? I am not drawing some landscapes or people because I find they “pretty” … I’m expressing feelings! And no one else gets them!” she sighs. “And you think that this is why you can’t find a job? “. “That’s not it… The old masters, I’m sure they went through the same. But even then, look at them! They are forever immortalized behind their masterpieces. Maybe I’m not good enough. No matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I try, or no matter how much I try to organize myself…! I just can’t do it. Maybe I am just too passionate. Maybe they were right… I should give up art”. “Never in my life I have ever seen someone say something like too passionate. Passion is everything in art, right? I mean, it may not look like it, but my engineering machine… it is certainly my masterpiece. No one has ever seen it, no one has ever commented on it, but I just believe it is the best thing I’ve ever created. It may not be as good as any other automated, electric train system… but just looking at what I created, what I brought upon our world… is what fills me with even more willpower to continue to create things… even though I’ve not created anything else. I think I don’t have much time to do anything else than tend to this train. It’s so important to me, and to many other people too…”. “Like me.”. “Yes… like you. Like us. And if I just stop taking care of it, even to chase my wishes, I will lose this one.”. “You should not let the responsibility of the work discourage you, Jamie! Look at us right now, we are chatting on the top of the train, under the moonlight, in the middle of the cold, chatting with each other! We didn’t have to be here, we shouldn’t. But here we are, enjoying this time together.”. Charlie, carefully, holds Jamie’s hand. “Maybe all you need is a bit of organization? It’s what I’ve done to make sure I always can draw something new every day. Even though I didn’t achieve the success I want… Maybe, just maybe, I need some more… passion.”. “I think you may be right… with organization and passion, we should get where we want to go.”.

“…”

“Charlie.”. “Yeah?” “Where do you want to go?”. “Wherever this train can take us to.”. “The express can only take us to so many places.”. “It doesn’t matter to where we go.”. “What do you mean?”. “As long as I am here, riding with you, the only place I don’t want to go is away from you.”.

“…”

“Charlie…” “Yes?” “Will you ever grow tired of riding the train? There’s only as many landscapes around the railroad that you can draw.” “I don’t think so… Every day, you inspire me, in a different way.”. “But what if I stop inspiring you? Will you stop to ride it?”. “Only if you do.”.  

Jamie felt something he had never felt before. He never was so intimate with someone in his life. There was so much going in his head, and his heart felt a lot of emotional pressure. He needed comfort.

Jamie hugged Charlie with an arm, and Charlie then leaned to his shoulder. They remained silent for the rest of the night, until the finally fell asleep on top of the wagon.

The train was arriving at the Peace Station at the dead of the night. An elder woman who was walking lonely next to the station saw the train coming. She quickly noticed that there were two young adults sleeping on top of the train, and went close to it to see what was going on. When the train stopped, one of the drawings that Charlie was working on felt to the ground. The woman picked it up, and was impressed with such skill. She suddenly smiled, and thought she finally found the solution for what troubled her during her own sleep. She threw two handfuls of sesame seeds at the top of the wagon, hoping to wake up one of them. Jamie woke up with a bunch of sesame seeds in his mouth, and spitted them as soon as he got up. He then saw the woman waving at him, and he carefully went down carrying Charlie to not wake her up, and then went to see the woman. She presented herself as Ingrid. “Sonny, what are you doing, sleeping up there? It’s cold outside!”. Jamie didn’t know how to respond.

The Windmill Valley (5)

“Ehehe, youngsters these days… Tell me sonny, did you draw this?”. She showed him the drawing. “No ma’am… That was drawn by my friend who was up there with me.”. “The lady who was sleeping with you… She has a very sweet, interesting art style. Her work is truly beautiful.” “I’m pretty sure she would be very thankful for these kind words, ma’am.”. “Please, tell your friend to come to the newspaper editorship, and bring her works. My head-ups have been urgently looking for an artist to draw more attention-grabbing first page arts.” Jamie was very happy to know that soon Charlie’s talent would become recognized. “Remember, they need to see her art, so don’t forget it!”. They waved each other goodbye. Ingrid left the station and returned home, and Jamie went back to the train to sleep.

The next day, Charlie comfortably wakes up inside the locomotive. She loved to wake up to the sight of Jamie’s machine. Speaking of him, he just went inside to see how she was doing. “Good morning.”, they said to each other, Charlie specially with a tender and warm smile. “I’ve got very good news for you.”, said Jamie, while bringing their breakfast to “picnic” at there with her.

When Jamie broke the news about the job offer, Charlie became super happy and was getting ready to get to her suitcase and get out of her PJs and hit the place. “Wait, Charlie!”. She stopped, about to borrow one of Jamie’s neckties. “The editorship will be closed for this week. It will be the railroad’s anniversary this week, and it is kind of a holiday in the valley.”. “It will be the railroad’s anniversary?!”. Charlie was filled in excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me?! This will be so much fun!”. She started to ask many questions and ideas of what to in the anniversary. Jamie has never seen Charlie so cheered up like that before.

The preparations for the event were being made. Jamie was very enthusiastic about the work done in both stations. Elliot was being a bit too distracted with the train’s interior decorations, but was doing his best. Charlie wanted to help too, and was drawing some sweet doodles to hang around the wagons’ windows. Jamie went outside to see how things were going, and when he opened the door to leave, he briefly scared himself at the sight of the man himself, Thomas Roosevelt Jones, the owner of the Union Railroad, paying his usually unexpected visit.

“M-mister Jones! Hello sir.”. “Goodness gracious, Jamie! I thought you had already got rid of this piece of scrap! Has the combustible not ran out yet?” “M-mister Jones! Sir, it’s incredible… but it turns out we still got a lot of coal.”. “Hmph. I will tell you, Jamie, I am already tired of this steam locomotive. It’s taking up space for something much better, you know? Electric locomotives are the future! They are more nature friendly, and more economic too!”. Jamie didn’t care about any of these things, that train was his life, and as of lately, it has mattered more than ever. And Mr. Jones could tell that on Jamie’s face. “Listen, son. This train is getting old. Sooner or later, an accident might happen because of your stubborn attitude. Are you sure that you don’t want to change our deal?”. “No, sir. If anyone is harmed because of this train, I will take all the responsibility for it.”. “Hmph. Very well then. See you in the event tomorrow.”. He leaves with his walking cane, without looking back.

The next day, many passengers were gathering in the Peace Station, and everyone was suited with fancy attires for the occasion. Jamie was wearing his usual work attire, but with a fancy necktie he likes to wear in special occasions. Jamie was waiting in lead wagon for Charlie, who was suiting herself to the event in the locomotive. When she came to the wagon, Jamie was in awe, seeing Charlie in a fancy dress that Ingrid borrowed to her last night. “You look… beautiful.”. Charlie smiled and looked away, blushing a bit. “Wait, I know what will complete it.”. Jamie took a valley rose in one of the lead wagon’s vases, and carefully put it behind Charlie’s ear. “What do you think?”. She stares at the reflection of the window. "Very pretty…”. Elliot suddenly entered in the wagon. And warned Jamie that everyone was there to hear the special speech. He thought that Mr. Jones was going to do it this year, but Elliot told Jamie that he just couldn’t find him. The three left the wagon, and Jamie used the external intercom to do his speech. It took around 30 minutes, maybe a bit too long for many, but Jamie just had this way with words that made many people just want to listen to him.

With all the passengers inside, the Grain Express was going to see the valley itself, where they would watch a firework show from inside the train. Jamie was paying attention to his golden watch, and waiting for the fireworks to be launched. Strangely, it took one minute more than what it was planned, but then the fireworks started to be launched and everyone watched them go off, cheering, not knowing what terrible fate awaited the Grain Express. Jamie and Charlie were watching the show together, when Elliot recklessly rushed to the wagon they were in, and reach them. “Jamie, Jamie!”. He had to catch up his breath. “The rockets! They are going off course! …huff… to the bridge!”. Jamie felt a chill over his spine, and opened the window to look outside. Some rockets were being launched and targeting the bridge, destroying them, and threatening the life of the train and its passengers. Jamie felt panicked, but Charlie told him that they had to do something about it quickly. Elliot suggested asking the engineer to stop the train.

Jamie and Charlie rushed to the locomotive, and were welcomed with a not very pleasant surprise. The locomotive was sabotaged. His engineering machine was totally scrambled. He tried to reach for the emergency break, but to no avail, since it was strapped with a very strong chain. Jamie felt a mix of anger and dread. He wanted to have time to think of anyone who could have done this. But there was no time for that, the life of everyone in the train was in danger. Jamie panicked again. He didn’t know what to do to stop the train. But Charlie had an idea. “Let’s disassemble the wagons from the locomotives! Let’s do it one by one, so we can stop every wagon safely”. Jamie agreed, and told her to warn everyone of what was about to happen through the intercom.

While Jamie was rushing with Elliot to the last wagon, she reached the intercom and alerted everyone. “Ladies and gentlemen, I request everyone’s attention. Please stay calm as I warn you that the train is currently is currently heading towards a broken cliff. Please stay in your seats, and hold tight. The staff will disassemble the wagons one by one, and when the wagon stop, you may leave it. Thanks for listening.”. Jamie and Elliot reach the final wagon, and they go through the trap door to disassemble the wagons from the top. Looking at his watch, he estimated that they had half an hour to stop the train. With much effort, they disassemble the last wagon, and it quickly was left behind. Three wagons left.

After this long process, they finally reach to the lead wagon. Jamie goes to the locomotive side to dissemble this wagon. Charlie sees the boys and try to help too. Elliot realizes that if they don’t do it from the wagon’s side, they will be left in the locomotive. “Wait up! You guys are doing it from the wrong side! You won’t be taken back with us!”. Jamie and Charlie look at each other, and then back at Elliot. “…we know.”. They disassemble the last wagon, and Elliot is left behind. There was only one thing left to do.

The Windmill Valley (6, Finale)

Jamie and Charlie did their best to figure out what to do to stop the train. They tried everything, but there was nothing to be done that they haven’t already tried before. The extinguisher was gone, so there was no way to stop the fuel combustion. Everything was perfectly orchestrated so there was truly no way to stop the train. But then, Jamie had an idea. He looked at the back of the locomotive, hoping to find enough water which he usually had to prepare his coffee to cease the flames. Thankfully, he had taken a lot of water gallons for the festival. There still was hope for the train.

Jamie and Charlie started to pour water on the big furnace to put out the fire. The train was slowing down until it started to approach the cliff. They were not sure if the train would stop in time. Expecting the worst, they started to allocate the locomotive’s weight to the back of the locomotive, so it could maintain its balance and not lean forward at the end of the line. And this was what happened. Now they could carefully leave the train, so they could then call for help.

Just after they went away, however, Jamie remembered that Charlie’s art was inside the locomotive, which was important so she could get her job. Charlie told him to not worry, and that nothing would happen to it, and it was necessary to keep the balance of the locomotive. Just as they would call for help, a final firework hit the train, not enough to push it, but to start burning it. Now everything inside it was going to burn. Jamie went desperate, because of the train and Charlie. He then was about to run after it, but Charlie tried to stop him. “Jamie, let’s hurry up! We can still save the train!”. “But your art will burn! And you need it for the job!”. “I don’t care! The train is more important! It’s the best thing that happened in our lives, and you know it!”. Jamie was conflicted. He was just watching the world around him melt.

After some seconds of thought, Jamie took a deep breath, looked at Charlie with a sad but determined face, and then went inside the locomotive to quickly get her suitcase with the drawings before the fire caught up to it. He then left the train with it successfully, but the locomotive totally lost its balance. Jamie didn’t want to look, but he couldn’t help himself, because it was going to be the last time he would see the Grain Express. Many memories started to pass by before his eyes. The Grain Express fell. When the train felt in the valley, an explosion occurred, and it released its last smell of coffee, that would cover most of the valley for a couple of days. Jamie felt deep sadness, tried to not cry, and immediately embraced Charlie to not fall down after experiencing such a devastating event.

A few days passed until this incident, and the Union Railroad had to be closed. It was soon going to be changed into a railroad for a new electric locomotive. Some citizens of the valley were very saddened, while others excited to be able to ride a more modern and faster public transportation. Mr. Jones was very brief when responding the press in regard to the Grain Express incident, and that he felt much sadness when he learned of the destruction of the train and the railroad. What everyone truly agreed upon, however, is that the death of the mysterious, never seen engineer moved even the most hard of hearts. 

This event also led to the unemployment of all the workers of both the Peace and Velvet stations, including the conductor of the train, Jamie. To address to this, Mr. Jones moved most of the employees to another station, located far away, that he also was the proprietor of. This included Jamie, that despite Mr. Jones’ judgement of stubborn behavior regarding the train, recognized his expertise in conducting the train from its first ride to its last one, and saving the passengers from a terrible death. Charlie, who used to live in the train, had successfully got accepted in the job as the newspaper cover page artist. She didn’t have where to live yet, but Ingrid was kind enough to let her sleep in one of her guest rooms free of charge, as long as she continued to work at the newspaper editorship.

All the employees, including Jamie and Elliot, were boarding a ship at the town’s harbor, so they could go to the new town where they would be working at. This all was put together quickly, so they had to sail in a cargo ship. Mr. Jones would provide new rent homes as well, so they could live in the town and work efficiently. This meant that they wouldn’t come back to Windmill Valley anymore. Despite the relief of not losing the job, Jamie felt a heartache, because he would certainly miss Charlie. Speaking of her, there she was. She also would miss Jamie dearly. She couldn’t help herself, just the thought of having to say goodbye to the man who changed her life made she very emotional. Jamie saw her, and waved to her, and she waved back. Is this what Jamie truly wanted? Was it worth to continue to work at train stations? He loved the job, but he felt like the passion weren’t in the trains anymore. He didn’t felt that he gave up from it. He just felt that the passion moved somewhere else. And then… he realized where the passion truly was.

“Dude.”, said Elliot to Jamie. “I know you don’t trust much in me when I tell you advice, but you should trust me this time. You should stay here in the valley. I can see in your eyes that you won’t feel happy there in the job. I also miss the old Grain a lot… But, if the train could become alive, don’t you think that it would rather want you to move on?”. Jamie became very thoughtful for a while. “The choice is yours, buddy. Look down there.”. Elliot points out some hay bales way down on the ground. “I know this is crazy, but if you change idea right now, there’s a good place for you to go back.”

The noisy, annoying horn of the ship was played, and the ship was going to sail. Charlie turned back, ready to go back home. However, Jamie came to his senses and jumped away from the boat, falling five stores down onto the hay bales. “Don’t forget to phone me!”, said Elliot, as Jamie fell down. People were shocked when they found Jamie laying there, but he quickly got up, with much difficulty to run, and tried to catch up to Charlie. “Charlie! Wait up!”. Charlie looked around, tearing in happiness, and both ran, hugged and twirled each other. “I can’t believe you’ve done this, Jamie.”. “I would never leave you. If you are not part of my life, I don’t know what to do with it.”. “Jamie… Thank you so much for everything.”

Both looked back at the ship, who already was sailing away. They saw Elliot waving to them, and they waved back to him. Jamie and Charlie walked together, back to the town. “So… what are you going to do, now that the Grain Express is gone?”. “What it would have wanted me to do. What it showed me what to do when it was sacrificed in that cliff.” “Huh?”. “I am free, Charlie. I am free from the tracks. I can go anywhere I want, do anything I want. I want to eat toast with butter, I want to swim, I want to listen to rock n’ roll, and I want to create more machines. But most importantly, I want to do all of that with you.”, he said that, while holding her hands. 

Jamie and Charlie created a special bond that lasted during their lifetime. Destiny brought them together, and together, they left destiny behind. The care they had for each other, even if it didn’t look like much, served as a basis to grow a healthy relationship. Maybe this is what love is about, after all.

Arklys & Taivah & the End of the World (1/8)

(CONTENT WARNINGS for Suicide/Self-Harm/Violence/War/Gun Violence/Swearing)

———

They are told they have to leave planet at the age of twenty. They are told the war needs them, that they are fighting to regain freedom, that the control of the entire galaxy depends on them. It is a senseless war, one of these wars that demands a lot and delivers nothing, one of these wars fought because a careless leader seeks chaos and blood and havoc and nothing more. A war that is fought for the death of thousands.

A war fought to kill its citizens.

Taivah Skye makes weapons in his small apartment, hiding from everyone, talking to no-one but those on the internet. He’s born with an inheritance from his mother when she dies that leaves him with millions. His social anxiety keeps him inside, afraid of the outside world. Raised to speak only when spoken to, to never show his face in public, to do what his heart desires but only if it makes sense for his family… To carry on the tradition of blood, to uphold the family name that is Skye.

Left alone with no mother and no father and these ideals and this money, Taivah sinks into himself. He discovers the internet at an early age, and the world opens itself up before him, but he observes it from behind the screen, distantly aware that there’s a war on up there, fought in the night sky he never looks at it amongst stars he never pays attention to. He wants to be like the rest, to fight to survive instead of having it easy, to have to scrounge up money and save money in the dark, to talk to skeevy people and crawl off to skeevy places and to have to deal with it rough. He dreams of it, and so he makes weapons to live vicariously through his fantasies, and he doesn’t touch the thought that his romanticized idealized version of survival could very well kill him. That he is, after all, a coward, a rich man, a weakling.

He tells everyone he meets on the internet that he us better than them. He puts up this character of being hardened, of knowing it all. He becomes so good at his personality that when he accidentally slips up and mentions his real age, he is shocked when the authorities come banging at his door to whisk him away to the War Above.

They drag him from his apartment kicking and screaming, and when they strap him into the rocket with all the other cadets, he wishes he’d never been born. Or that his mother was still alive. Or that he’d tried harder to buy his way out instead of squandering his money on fantasies… wasting that money on this idea that he’s a hardened survivor instead of using it to buy his way out of the war… because now that the war has come to him, he’s realizing very rapidly how much of a lie he’s been living.

Arklys Temnyx is orphaned at birth. Passed from orphanage to orphanage, he’s feral and wild, and no one can keep him under control, so they throw him out early. Left on the streets to die, he makes it through by sheer force of will, letting no-one get to him, trusting no-one, working alongside no-one, only living by his instincts and his intuition, refusing to die, afraid of the life beyond death (which he’s certain there’s none of). As he ages and hardens, he grows into a monster, taking any mercenary job that he can get his hands on, transforming slowly and gradually into a hardened killer who knows no love and knows no kindness and knows nothing other than the bite of death at his heels and the sharp sting of pain that comes with waking up another day to the same old hell he’s always been in.

The streets of the city he learns how to work are under constant threat of rebel terrorism. Civil war is looming on the horizon like the cold light of a terrible dawn, and Arklys can feel it coming deep within his guts, can feel the violence that will tumble through like floodwaters. It is terrible and it is glorious and it is so so frightening.

He is, by all means, a citizen of the Empire. And the rebels and their factions will never let him into their ranks after he’s killed so many of them just to get by. So when the Empire and its militia lands to collect those of age, he crawls aboard, fakes his age, buckles in. He doesn’t know where he’s going, or what he will see, but he knows it’s for a better future than the one he is leaving behind.

At least now, he can control his mortality. At least now, he can let Death know when it is okay for him to die instead of having Death show up and take him unannounced.

Taivah is on the ship taking Arklys away to fight a distant battle among the stars. For a second, their eyes met from across the room, Taivah’s blue, Arklys’s red, and there’s a connection there like they know one another, or they will, in some alternate timeline, in some distant future, in some broken past.

But just like that, the moment;s gone, and Taivah goes back to wishing he were dead and Arklys goes to watching the planet he’s just left fade away into darkness, leaving him hopeful and waiting for a final chance at life.