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Can't drink the pain away

166 Views | 12 Replies
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Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 09:29:50


How old were you when you first realized there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for you to wash the pain away?


I was in my early twenties when I first "drank myself sober."


There just comes this point in a night of properly titrated alcohol consumption where your brain figures out how to think drunk, then all of a sudden all the memories come flooding back without any of the inhibitory walls that normally protect your mind from the horror when you're sober.


There was a brief period of about a year (this was actually before 2017, if you can believe it) when any time I drank over a certain amount. I would have horrific flashbacks to things that happened when I was a kid, like my mom biting a chunk out of my dad's chest for coke money (they're still married cuzz reeeeeeligion)


Even to this day where I know my limit is on alcohol is based on if I start remembering terrible things from childhood, because it's a real party killer. I still drink when I want to, like when I'm out at a show, or maybe have a bottle of wine on the weekend, but I really don't get excited about the prospect of getting drunk and it's not really my go to relaxation method.


I still smoke pot, but there's also only so high I want to get. To be completely honest the main reason I started smoking in my teens is that weed makes me not remember my nightmares. I've cut back a good bit over the past few years, but if I skip my evening toke I have particularly rancid and violent nightmares. I won't touch extracts or wax because there's just no point in pushing your tolerance up that high and it's wasteful.


Does anybody else experience this "drinking yourself sober" thing? Why can't I be a jolly drunk like everyone else?


Me playing accordion and singing, even though I'm totally a drummer.

HATE.

Because how else do you explain 1.2 million years of perpetual war?

BBS Signature

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 13:54:28


The thing is that you're seeking extrernal fix (alcohol, pot, porn whatever) for an internal problem. And I've got bad news for you - It has never and will never work. In fact over time it will only get worse, it's like a self-drestruction mechanism.

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 14:06:34


At 2/11/20 01:54 PM, megadoctor wrote: The thing is that you're seeking extrernal fix (alcohol, pot, porn whatever) for an internal problem. And I've got bad news for you - It has never and will never work. In fact over time it will only get worse, it's like a self-drestruction mechanism.


That's literally the whole point of this thread: there's not enough innebriants in the world to fix me, lol. Accepting this fact is why I've never had a crippling addiction, even though a lot of people around me have died from drugs and alcohol.


Me playing accordion and singing, even though I'm totally a drummer.

HATE.

Because how else do you explain 1.2 million years of perpetual war?

BBS Signature

If you can't drink anything away, then you haven't really fuckin' tried!

iu_93039_964020.jpg

And if that still ain' working for you, that's why they're made of glass, kiddo!

Because there's nothing quite as uplifting and enjoyable as slicing some know-it-all antiFART hipster in the giblets!

iu_93038_964020.jpg

awwww, it won't let me upload it as a gif, WTF! Here's the original anyway.

Who needs a game of knifey spoony when you have so many half full tankards lying around, eh?


Western media has descended to the level of Soviet media, pre-Glasnost, except the American people largely still drink from that poisoned well, thinking it provides "news."

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 18:15:49


Didn't ever really have such a phase. Tried drinking, didn't see much benefit to it, that's all.


Eating the pain away however...


Check out the NRC / Hexa #57 (Feb)

BBS Signature

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 20:32:31


I only drink to mellow myself out when I know I'm about to deal with a bunch of bullshit I can't handle sober.

I'm so fucked up, though, I don't need to drink away bad memories.

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 20:40:02


Can't you just drunk because it's fun?

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-11 21:11:44


For some reason if I take a drink before deciding to work on something my production speed goes up tenfold. Then I have too much and I just sit around listening to music all night long.

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-12 13:46:51


At 2/11/20 09:29 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: How old were you when you first realized there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for you to wash the pain away?


Sometime in primary school.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!

On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.

Sig by Decky.

BBS Signature

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-13 00:41:39


At 2/11/20 09:29 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: How old were you when you first realized there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for you to wash the pain away?

late teens, early 20s. ( I started drinking daily at 14 )


I was in my early twenties when I first "drank myself sober."

It's not even a crutch at this point its just slightly less gay than a sober life

There just comes this point in a night of properly titrated alcohol consumption where your brain figures out how to think drunk, then all of a sudden all the memories come flooding back without any of the inhibitory walls that normally protect your mind from the horror when you're sober.

actually theres some science there, your brain does learn to work "faster" under the cloud of alcohol, and thats why ( and I know people this has happened too ) when you go cold turkey being a massive alcoholic, your brain races and you have trouble forming thoughts or words at all, you seem slow, but its because your brain is going way too fast

There was a brief period of about a year (this was actually before 2017, if you can believe it) when any time I drank over a certain amount. I would have horrific flashbacks to things that happened when I was a kid, like my mom biting a chunk out of my dad's chest for coke money (they're still married cuzz reeeeeeligion)

yeah i, i have no comment on that. I do know melancholy is par for the course with alcohol, crying into your beer is an Irish tradition, you pick a fight with someone, then you cry into a beer cuz ya werent loved as a kid or, whatever. Thats also the coming down effect, if ya getting super drunk, then stopping, its a serotonin drop, and you get all gloomy gus

Even to this day where I know my limit is on alcohol is based on if I start remembering terrible things from childhood, because it's a real party killer. I still drink when I want to, like when I'm out at a show, or maybe have a bottle of wine on the weekend, but I really don't get excited about the prospect of getting drunk and it's not really my go to relaxation method.

Do mushrooms, and i dont mean just do them alone, do them with like minded people who do mushrooms, and work out your true feelings, and you may find that it all becomes petty. I may not be as batshit crazy as you but I have baggage, and after you trip alot ( no this isnt some movie where tripping solves everything in some pseudo hippy way ) you tend to see the world as small, finite, or I did anyways, your problems are inconsequential, the people you place value and stock in, inconsequential, and you learn its just you, here, now, sometimes ( like the trip itself ) its a beautiful thing, sometimes its horrifying, but thats all it is, its just you, here, now, thoughts are just thoughts, time goes on, and you go on with it.

I still smoke pot, but there's also only so high I want to get. To be completely honest the main reason I started smoking in my teens is that weed makes me not remember my nightmares. I've cut back a good bit over the past few years, but if I skip my evening toke I have particularly rancid and violent nightmares. I won't touch extracts or wax because there's just no point in pushing your tolerance up that high and it's wasteful.

Does anybody else experience this "drinking yourself sober" thing? Why can't I be a jolly drunk like everyone else?


When you drink all day every day like me ( not trying to sound proud, im not, im frankly almost ashamed ) youre never really drunk, nor are you ever really sober, so, yes. again, serotonin, neurological compensation, etc etc, sometimes you cant fix crazy, but you can make it work. If you have a car that stalls at redlights, you drop it in neutral and rev the gas til you put it in gear again at the green light, and you drive on, if you're focusing on the fact that your stalled, and not how to get around the stall, you're just wasting your time, a shit car is a shit car.


BBS Signature

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-13 00:49:17


you never had an ibogaine phase or anything?


https://generated.inspirobot.me/a/qlPBXrQme5.jpg

Response to Can't drink the pain away 2020-02-13 19:08:33


Wow, this is the most real insight I've seen into your life and I appreciate that.


As to answer your question: since the first time I drank. I operate on a certain level of anxiety that prevents alcohol from making me act much differently. I might let my gaurd down for a few hours and actually be fun enough to get people (especially women) to enjoy my antics, but when the anxiety comes back, I'm never truly relaxed enough to steal the night away.


I've never blacked out and I've never lost memories of any part of a night no matter how much I've drank. It's like Im always fully aware of my situation because of my anxiety-- so drinking wont prevent me from remembering my problems. It's always been like that for me.


When I was 23. I did so much coke and drank 30+ ounces a night for months. It all came flooding in and I got really sad every time I drank. Its worse now, around 6 drinks is when I'll start getting really sad and pathetic. Its not fun anymore. 3 drinks is where I have the most fun, but it's also where I want to keep going more and more. Its a tough balance to fulfill social expectations and simultaneously not turn myself into a sad loser.


I was sober for 4 years, and only started drinking again casually recently. I try to keep it in check but sometimes I do slip and drink a lot and it never goes well. I've probably had 3 of these nights in the past 2 years so I'm doing alright.