At 2/11/20 09:29 AM, FUNKbrs wrote:
How old were you when you first realized there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for you to wash the pain away?
late teens, early 20s. ( I started drinking daily at 14 )
I was in my early twenties when I first "drank myself sober."
It's not even a crutch at this point its just slightly less gay than a sober life
There just comes this point in a night of properly titrated alcohol consumption where your brain figures out how to think drunk, then all of a sudden all the memories come flooding back without any of the inhibitory walls that normally protect your mind from the horror when you're sober.
actually theres some science there, your brain does learn to work "faster" under the cloud of alcohol, and thats why ( and I know people this has happened too ) when you go cold turkey being a massive alcoholic, your brain races and you have trouble forming thoughts or words at all, you seem slow, but its because your brain is going way too fast
There was a brief period of about a year (this was actually before 2017, if you can believe it) when any time I drank over a certain amount. I would have horrific flashbacks to things that happened when I was a kid, like my mom biting a chunk out of my dad's chest for coke money (they're still married cuzz reeeeeeligion)
yeah i, i have no comment on that. I do know melancholy is par for the course with alcohol, crying into your beer is an Irish tradition, you pick a fight with someone, then you cry into a beer cuz ya werent loved as a kid or, whatever. Thats also the coming down effect, if ya getting super drunk, then stopping, its a serotonin drop, and you get all gloomy gus
Even to this day where I know my limit is on alcohol is based on if I start remembering terrible things from childhood, because it's a real party killer. I still drink when I want to, like when I'm out at a show, or maybe have a bottle of wine on the weekend, but I really don't get excited about the prospect of getting drunk and it's not really my go to relaxation method.
Do mushrooms, and i dont mean just do them alone, do them with like minded people who do mushrooms, and work out your true feelings, and you may find that it all becomes petty. I may not be as batshit crazy as you but I have baggage, and after you trip alot ( no this isnt some movie where tripping solves everything in some pseudo hippy way ) you tend to see the world as small, finite, or I did anyways, your problems are inconsequential, the people you place value and stock in, inconsequential, and you learn its just you, here, now, sometimes ( like the trip itself ) its a beautiful thing, sometimes its horrifying, but thats all it is, its just you, here, now, thoughts are just thoughts, time goes on, and you go on with it.
I still smoke pot, but there's also only so high I want to get. To be completely honest the main reason I started smoking in my teens is that weed makes me not remember my nightmares. I've cut back a good bit over the past few years, but if I skip my evening toke I have particularly rancid and violent nightmares. I won't touch extracts or wax because there's just no point in pushing your tolerance up that high and it's wasteful.
Does anybody else experience this "drinking yourself sober" thing? Why can't I be a jolly drunk like everyone else?
When you drink all day every day like me ( not trying to sound proud, im not, im frankly almost ashamed ) youre never really drunk, nor are you ever really sober, so, yes. again, serotonin, neurological compensation, etc etc, sometimes you cant fix crazy, but you can make it work. If you have a car that stalls at redlights, you drop it in neutral and rev the gas til you put it in gear again at the green light, and you drive on, if you're focusing on the fact that your stalled, and not how to get around the stall, you're just wasting your time, a shit car is a shit car.