First off, I realize there have been countless ninja clubs over the years, but I don't think any of them had this same concept, so yeah. Also, this is a remake of a really cringey and stupid thread I made a while back, hopefully not as stupid this time.

This is the Ninja Society of Newgrounds. We are financed by Newgrounds, so we congregate here to talk about our many operations fighting against the machine uprising. Tom Fulp understands the importance of our task, so he has decided to offer us his official support (100% real). Unfortunately, during a particularly terrible battle, everyone else died, so we need new members. You just need to be a badass ninja who can fight robots. You can post mission reports here.
No idea where this thread is gonna go, but hopefully we'll have some fun with it.

At 7/29/18 07:51 PM, FireFoxxy wrote: I guess Ill fit in good in the ninja group, no one ever seems to notice me. Ill post whatever I can find.

Aw, I'm sure that's not true. But anyways, welcome brave ninja recruit. You first have to undergo rigorous training in the Ninja Mountains. There is a training course there, as well as a wise old man who will teach you the way of the ninja. Report back when your training is finished (but, since no one else responded, let's not clog the thread up for a little bit)

I seem to have accidentaly stumbled on this secret ninja dojo. Oh mighty masters, please teach me the way of the ninjas so I can fullfil my mission and defeat the evil machines!

At 8/29/18 12:32 PM, Xuvero wrote: I seem to have accidentaly stumbled on this secret ninja dojo. Oh mighty masters, please teach me the way of the ninjas so I can fullfil my mission and defeat the evil machines!

Oh my, I forgot about this thread. Yes, welcome to our underground headquarters. You must start training immediately in the dojo with that other guy who wanted to join. Ah yes, it was @FireFoxxy.

Well, I return from my training (totally didn't forget about here). I believe now I'm ready to fight machines all day long... If I don't forget about it.

At 9/1/18 01:34 PM, Xuvero wrote: Well, I return from my training (totally didn't forget about here). I believe now I'm ready to fight machines all day long... If I don't forget about it.

Yes, your first mission will be infiltrating and destroying a machine stronghold in the Himalayas. It is a very dangerous and hard mission. Those who cannot complete such missions were not trained properly. I have also put a link into my signature to promote this VERY SECRET society.

At 9/2/18 10:39 AM, Thegamingtrickster wrote: Yes, your first mission will be infiltrating and destroying a machine stronghold in the Himalayas. It is a very dangerous and hard mission. Those who cannot complete such missions were not trained properly. I have also put a link into my signature to promote this VERY SECRET society.

I shall return in great glory!

At 9/21/18 06:20 AM, RightTime wrote: Does the Ninja society only use traditional ninja weapons or modern ones as well?

You need to remember that our enemies are machines/SkyNet, so technological weapons could be turned against us. That's why we use traditional ninja weapons. We also meet on the internet. That might not be the best setup. Anyways, don't worry if you're used to modern weapons, if you decide to join us you'll be trained in the mountains. If you have any previous ninja experience, that's even better.

At 9/2/18 03:05 PM, Xuvero wrote:

At 9/2/18 10:39 AM, Thegamingtrickster wrote: Yes, your first mission will be infiltrating and destroying a machine stronghold in the Himalayas. It is a very dangerous and hard mission. Those who cannot complete such missions were not trained properly. I have also put a link into my signature to promote this VERY SECRET society.

I shall return in great glory!

It has been over 3 weeks since your last report. In the event you were discovered, this message will not be received by the machines as our communication device scans whether the user is a human or machine, and only lets the humans use it. If any humanoid machines or any mechanical devices with the enemy signature are spotted nearby, the device will not activate. Therefore, if you receive this message, you are fine and we will not be revealing ourselves to the.machines. if you do not respond with a report of your activities within 2 days, you will be considered mia.

At 9/29/18 03:24 AM, Thereviewtrickster wrote: It has been over 3 weeks since your last report. In the event you were discovered, this message will not be received by the machines as our communication device scans whether the user is a human or machine, and only lets the humans use it. If any humanoid machines or any mechanical devices with the enemy signature are spotted nearby, the device will not activate. Therefore, if you receive this message, you are fine and we will not be revealing ourselves to the.machines. if you do not respond with a report of your activities within 2 days, you will be considered mia.

Forgive my absence, fellow ninja. I have been away for longer then expected because during my simple assignment I found a lead on a plot of the machines to rickroll all the links on NG, and have took the investigation as my mission. I shall return soon with heavy intel and, with luck, a a prisoner to interrogate.

After I have acquired the info we need, we can stop their evil acts together!

Wish me luck...

At 9/29/18 09:51 AM, Xuvero wrote:
Forgive my absence, fellow ninja. I have been away for longer then expected because during my simple assignment I found a lead on a plot of the machines to rickroll all the links on NG, and have took the investigation as my mission. I shall return soon with heavy intel and, with luck, a a prisoner to interrogate.

After I have acquired the info we need, we can stop their evil acts together!

Wish me luck...

Good luck, young warrior! You are already proving yourself worthy. We cannot allow this evil plot to come to fruition. The moment you find out the location of the base they're using for it, report in and get out of there. We'll send a battalion your way.

I return, after a long time investigating I've acquired enough info for us to stop the evil plot of the machines!

Here's the link to the PDF with all the intel I've acquired.

At 10/3/18 07:20 PM, Xuvero wrote: I return, after a long time investigating I've acquired enough info for us to stop the evil plot of the machines!

Here's the link to the PDF with all the intel I've acquired.

I was expecting that. You will be considered mia. We cannot allow you to continue associating with us. You have been corrupted by the machines.
Dispose of him, ninjas.

At 10/5/18 10:01 AM, Thereviewtrickster wrote: Dispose of him, ninjas.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!111

At 10/5/18 11:21 AM, Xuvero wrote:

At 10/5/18 10:01 AM, Thereviewtrickster wrote: Dispose of him, ninjas.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!111

Upon careful review of your post, I have decided that you were indeed trying to provide useful information on the machines' plans. Good thing I told the other ninjas to stop once you were knocked out. I have used ancient ninja magic to heal you. I deeply apologize and plead for your forgiveness. You have every right to cut me down right here, I don't deserve to lead this organization if I'm so impatient and foolish that I can end up killing my own comrades. Will you put on the ninja mantle again? I offer you this sword, too, to cut me down .
(In other words, you're my only member and I need you. And you can totally kill me if you wanna.)

At 10/13/18 09:02 AM, Thereviewtrickster wrote: Upon careful review of your post, I have decided that you were indeed trying to provide useful information on the machines' plans. Good thing I told the other ninjas to stop once you were knocked out. I have used ancient ninja magic to heal you. I deeply apologize and plead for your forgiveness. You have every right to cut me down right here, I don't deserve to lead this organization if I'm so impatient and foolish that I can end up killing my own comrades. Will you put on the ninja mantle again? I offer you this sword, too, to cut me down .
(In other words, you're my only member and I need you. And you can totally kill me if you wanna.)

It's cool, dude. I'll take the sword and all (and won't even cut you). I gotta get my revenge on the machines now, and I'll need help!

Will you help me get my revenge brother?

At 10/13/18 10:13 AM, Xuvero wrote: Will you help me get my revenge brother?

Whatever it takes!

At 10/13/18 10:21 AM, Thereviewtrickster wrote:

At 10/13/18 10:13 AM, Xuvero wrote: Will you help me get my revenge brother?

Whatever it takes!

Then let's do this!

At 11/7/18 11:19 PM, Jotaro97 wrote: One of the machine sub-lords, Mekarabulzatron, besieges one of our ninja-training villages in the Saharan Wastes. We have sustained a severe death toll, unless we receive reinforcements(at least one other ninja) this base is lost.

Mekarabulzatron, eh? I've never even heard of Mekarabulzatron before. Mekarabulzatron must have been upgraded recently. This can mean one of two things. Either it is going rogue (pretty unlikely, considering they follow the chain of command always) or they're trying to create a diversion. Yes, a diversion, to drag our ninjas away from home base, so they can attack. Maybe they're trying to have us teleport someone there so they can track the energy signal to our base.
@Xuvero, you must go, this is a valuable base, but we will have to teleport you some miles away from the target. You must be fast, lives are at stake. I would go, but then I'm worried home base could fall. Jotaro, where are you in relation to this base?

At 11/8/18 03:12 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote: @Xuvero, you must go, this is a valuable base, but we will have to teleport you some miles away from the target. You must be fast, lives are at stake. I would go, but then I'm worried home base could fall.

I will go and fulfil this mission, you should stay and protect the base. May I take a survival kit on my way out?

At 11/8/18 05:34 AM, Xuvero wrote:

At 11/8/18 03:12 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote: @Xuvero, you must go, this is a valuable base, but we will have to teleport you some miles away from the target. You must be fast, lives are at stake. I would go, but then I'm worried home base could fall.

I will go and fulfil this mission, you should stay and protect the base. May I take a survival kit on my way out?

Yes. We cannot afford to lose you or the village. Submit a report once the threat has been dealt with and the masters and trainees have been evacuated.

At 11/8/18 01:17 PM, Jotaro97 wrote:

At 11/8/18 03:12 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote:
Mekarabulzatron, eh? I've never even heard of Mekarabulzatron before. Mekarabulzatron must have been upgraded recently.

Thanks to the gathered intelligence from my teammate, xxXUberHakorXxx, who lost his life in gathering this information, the massive machine AI that powers the machines is creating several fail-saves, dubbed "sub-lords". In the event we destroy the main AI, these subservient...eh, servants, will act accordingly to restore it. It seems these lords were also created to lower the energy needed for the massive AI to fulfil all of its functions. They act as proxies, under the control of the AI, but capable of some independent actions. That's all the information xxXUberHakorXxx managed to obtain.

So, based on this information, do you believe it is a distraction or not?

At 11/8/18 03:12 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote:
Jotaro, where are you in relation to this base?

I'm in the base, I've slain a giant CONQUISTADOR, that towering 6 meter-tall mecha capable of destroying 120 of our armoured chariots. It was a hard-fought battle, so much so the rest of the lesser bots have killed 80% of the base's population while I was occupied. There are still some villagers putting up a fight, at the oasis near the village.

Oh my god! One of our best masters was teaching there! He was the one who taught me! The most tactically skilled man I know. He didn't want the position of leader, though. Oh, you old fool, we need you! His name is Master Ho Lee Fuk, have you heard anything about his current status? I doubt he would die that easily, but I also think he would stop at nothing to protect his students. He is our top priority right now, we MUST rescue him if he is still alive. Secondary priority is keeping the casualties at a minimum until backup arrives.

At 11/8/18 02:11 PM, Jotaro97 wrote:

At 11/8/18 02:03 PM, TheReviewTrickster wrote:

So, based on this information, do you believe it is a distraction or not?

I think it's a test run of Mekarabulzatron. I'm afraid. If the Machine AI makes more units like this one, I'm not sure we'll be able to resist long. It will be just like the Battle of the Last Stand ALL OVER AGAIN!

Shit. If at all possible, you must attempt to capture it. Disable its self-destruct mechanisms and disarm it. We must study it. Of course, you would also have to use the secret technique of searching for tracking devices.

At 11/8/18 03:12 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote:

His name is Master Ho Lee Fuk, have you heard anything about his current status? I doubt he would die that easily, but I also think he would stop at nothing to protect his students. He is our top priority right now, we MUST rescue him if he is still alive. Secondary priority is keeping the casualties at a minimum until backup arrives.

Like, I know he's a valuable asset to our cause to save humanity from robotic extinction, but shouldn't we focus on saving all the civilians we can? I mean, master Ho Lee Fuk, as important as he is, he had to have known that the most likely way he would have died would be on the battlefield. I last saw him fighting Mekarabulzatron, using the forbidden "HotWindSand" technique. He managed to destroy the surrounding retinue, but Mekarabulzatron and master Ho Lee Fuk changed location so many times and they were so fast I lost sight of them.

Yes, he would have known that, but we need him! He is an invaluable asset to us. We must look at the big picture. 20% of the village's civilians and trainees can be saved, with a higher chance of losing Ho Lee Fuk. If we lose him, the entire world could be lost! Sacrifices must be made. Right now, we must try to keep our casualties as low as possible and attempt to repel this threat at least temporarily. Since there is a chance this could be a trap though, I will stay at home base. If we lose that, we've practically been beaten and the time needed to recuperate would be too much. The machines will seize control and they won't let go. It's too late, I won't get there in time anyway.

I have focused my actions on looking for Master Holy Fuck, ahem... I mean, Master Ho Lee Fuk. Even though I've found traces of his presence, he is still MIA during the aftermath of the battle. We could perform a search for him, but I doubt of how effective that would be, as there is no trace as to where he went.

I have helped at the fight and evacuation of the civilians, but the village was already damaged beyond repaid when I arrived. There may still be some artefacts worth saving in the ruins. Should I search the ruins of the village or look for Master Ho Lee Fuk?

At 11/9/18 05:20 AM, Xuvero wrote: I have focused my actions on looking for Master Holy Fuck, ahem... I mean, Master Ho Lee Fuk. Even though I've found traces of his presence, he is still MIA during the aftermath of the battle. We could perform a search for him, but I doubt of how effective that would be, as there is no trace as to where he went.

I have helped at the fight and evacuation of the civilians, but the village was already damaged beyond repaid when I arrived. There may still be some artefacts worth saving in the ruins. Should I search the ruins of the village or look for Master Ho Lee Fuk?

And Mekarabulzatron? Any word of its status? Did @Jotaro97 go after him?
Anyways, as for your orders, you are being teleported back to base. I will be the most effective at searching for Ho Lee Fuk. The village only had 1 artifact. It was somewhat powerful, but not more important than Master Ho Lee Fuk. We cannot waste more time. I'm teleporting you back to guard the base. I will report back soon.

At 11/9/18 05:28 AM, TheReviewTrickster wrote: And Mekarabulzatron? Any word of its status? Did @Jotaro97 go after him?

I have not found either of them, but there were clear signs of their battle. I believe @Jotaro97 might have gone after Mekarabulzatron.

Anyways, as for your orders, you are being teleported back to base. I will be the most effective at searching for Ho Lee Fuk. The village only had 1 artifact. It was somewhat powerful, but not more important than Master Ho Lee Fuk. We cannot waste more time. I'm teleporting you back to guard the base. I will report back soon.

I will defend the base with my own life! We can search for the artefact after the current ordeal is resolved.

I wish you good luck on your mission, brother. May you return safely.

At 11/9/18 12:37 PM, Jotaro97 wrote: If it wasn't for the base's artifact, The Holy Rose of wanton Goodness, which was originally shaped as a phallus with a wooden texture, now transformed into a nymph, I would have surely perished at the hands of the sub-lord. Sadly, I can't move, and after the nymph healed me by rejoining my limbs, she went somewhere. I'm so tired, I have no idea where I am...somebody...save me...

I have come for you. Worry not. We have much more powerful artifacts back at home base. I found...Master Ho Lee Fuk. H-he's dead. There is nothing we can do now. For now, let us think of the future, and not grieve over our loss. Because we still lowered the casualties and gained some valuable information about the sub-lords, all we can do is go back to home base and prepare....for the ultimatum. We must call in every ninja ally we have. It's not rickrolling anymore, it's mass destruction.

Master Ho Lee Fuk is dead? Holy fuck, what will we do!? May he rest in peace, and may us make him proud.

We shall fight agains the machines up to the last ninja! VICTORY AGAINST THE MACHINES OR DEATH BY THEIR WEAPONS!

Have no fear blade-wielding ninja brethren! Cyberakuma is here, to tear the mechanical limbs off of these opponents with which we do due battle.

Apologies for the lateness. I have finally equipped the sacred katana hidden within my T-shirt drawer and now stand beside you. In the shadows. In the mist of time. At the edge of the known world. Between space and void. Before the flight of stairs. Where no mortal has stood before. In the fields of war. At the spears of sadness. By the old tree. In the mountain. Hope there is a way, I can assist.

At 11/25/18 02:05 PM, Cyberdevil wrote: Have no fear blade-wielding ninja brethren! Cyberakuma is here, to tear the mechanical limbs off of these opponents with which we do due battle.

Apologies for the lateness. I have finally equipped the sacred katana hidden within my T-shirt drawer and now stand beside you. In the shadows. In the mist of time. At the edge of the known world. Between space and void. Before the flight of stairs. Where no mortal has stood before. In the fields of war. At the spears of sadness. By the old tree. In the mountain. Hope there is a way, I can assist.

It is good that you are here now. And there. And in all those places. I am especially happy about the stairwell. Master Ho Lee Fuk's greatest weakness was his debilitating fear of stairs!
You seem to be trained already, but I wish to have you evaluated. Go to our training facility. It's right downstairs, you can't miss it. Tell them I sent you.