I feel the urge to say something. Many of you won't care at all, some of you will pay attention simply so that you can argue, hopefully still some of you will humor me. I did not know Adam in the slightest. I never talked to him. I've never read any of his BBS posts. In fact I had never seen any of his flashes (other than ONE of his time trial entries, and to be honest I don't even recall that flash). Prior to about a half hour ago when I discovered that he was dead and chose to read his profile, a few of his bbs posts, and a few of his reviews, I had no idea what this person's personality was.
Forgive me, I'm having trouble making my point...
A few years ago, a boy who lived across the street from me died when a four wheeler flipped over on him and crushed him. He was riding with his father. His father was drunk, and tried to go up a hill that was far too steep. The father abandoned the four wheeler safely as it started to flip, but the boy, Vince, didn't have enough warning to react, and thus he was crushed and killed. When he was alive, the boy had constantly bullied me. He intimidated me, and seemed to greatly enjoy laughing at my expense. There were a few times we had spent time together, because we shared a few mutual friends, but we very rarely got along. Despite all that happened and all the ill nature between us, I cried when I found out he was dead. I would never have wished death on him, and though I know we weren't friends he was someone I interacted with on a daily basis, a significant figure in my life. When I learned the circumstances of the death I sympathized heavily. At that point I didn't view him as the mean kid who had bullied me, I could only see him as the good friend, the beloved child, and the idolized older brother that other people saw him for. I remember, however, being offended, heavily, by people I saw crying who i KNEW had never even met him. At the time I felt that their sympathy couldn't possibly be authentic. They knew him as a name, possibly a picture, but they knew nothing of his personality and soul. Thus, I felt that they were practically making a joke out of his death.
At the time I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of one human being mourning the loss of another, simply because of those he had left behind.
And now Adam, Livecorpse, is dead. And while I cannot pretend to miss him even a fraction of that of those who knew him and experienced conversation with him, I cannot help but feel loss. It is obvious to me, by the comments made by many of you, that he was an extraordinary person who, even in his own unhappiness, was able to make others happy. The circumstances surrounding his death truly make me feel for him and realize just how much of a tragedy this whole situation is. It saddens me to discover that I missed out on meeting such a great individual, and I cannot begin to imagine how his friends and family must feel. While I can offer very little, for anyone who may in the slightest way appreciate it, my heart sincerely goes out to the friends and family of this man.
He was not much older than me, and I know how it feels to get bummed out, really hard, really often. I feel that I would have had so much to talk about with him. The fact that he apparently committed suicide forces me to wonder what, if anything, could have been done to prevent it. The loss of life is such a terrible thing, and when someone feels they have no choice but to end their own life, it truly tears me up inside.
But I digress...
Adam was obviously a spectacular person, and he will be missed dearly, I'm sure. I hope he can find peace in the afterlife.
