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Space Centaur Civilization

1,004 Views | 16 Replies

Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 11:06:57


I'm trying to build a fictional universe where fantasy races like elves, dwarves and goblins have all developed independently on different planets and have reached a point in their civilizations where they can use magic to travel through space. I love Centaurs (mostly the Shining Force kind) and I want to make them one of the space fantasy civilizations, but dayum is it weird to have a horse's body for your ass. Centaurs doing anything besides shooting arrows, shitting in the woods and complaining about people riding on its back tends to get inherently ridiculous.

So I wanted to share the ridiculous experience with all of you. Here are the sort of questions I've been asking myself about Centaur society:

Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?
How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?
How do centaurs go to the bathroom?
What kind of clothing do centaurs wear? Where do they keep their genitals?
What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?
What are centaur martial arts like?
What are centaur cities like? or things like space colonies and ship interiors?
What is centaur religion like?
What do centaurs keep as pets?

And then I have to wonder how centaurs do the things that one would normally expect in a civilized fantasy or sci-fi universe. What is it like to be a centaur doctor? centaur priest? centaur secretary? centaur construction worker? centaur maid? centaur butler? centaur detective? centaur witch? centaur psychic? centaur gangsta? centaur Indiana Jones? centaur Hulk Hogan? centaur KISS? centaur Beyonce? centaur captain? centaur pirate? centaur ninja? centaur mafia? centaur escort service? centaur circus performers? centaur super hero? centaur cyborg?

That shit gets crazy fast.

Join in on the fun. What do space centaurs be like?

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 13:22:55


Have you watched the movie or movies of Chronicles of Narnia? Maybe that would help with whatever you are doing.........

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 14:32:57


At 5/17/14 11:06 AM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?

In beds.

How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?

They walk everywhere.

How do centaurs go to the bathroom?

Like a person would. But more difficultly.

What kind of clothing do centaurs wear? Where do they keep their genitals?

Mainly t-shirts. No pants for some reason....

What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?

...soccer (or football as it's called in the rest of the world)

What are centaur martial arts like?

Mostly kicking I'd assume.

What are centaur cities like? or things like space colonies and ship interiors?

Well if they're super advanced I could see it being space colony-like.

What is centaur religion like?

Seabiscuit is their lord and savior.

What do centaurs keep as pets?

Humans.


Formally known as Viper50

When you get into one of these groups theres only a couple of ways you can get out. One is death. The other is mental institution.

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Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 14:34:02


All you gotta do is call 866-RON-0FEZ 12:00-300 EST and ask Chris Stanley. He knows everything about being a centaur, because he is one

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 23:39:03


At 5/17/14 02:32 PM, Viper wrote:
At 5/17/14 11:06 AM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?
In beds.

Right, so what is a centaur bed like? Does it need to be L-shaped or are they flexible enough to lie down on their backs or straight on their sides?

How do centaurs go to the bathroom?
Like a person would. But more difficultly.

Would a urinal work for centaurs?

What kind of clothing do centaurs wear? Where do they keep their genitals?
Mainly t-shirts. No pants for some reason....

I feel like one of the basic prerequisites for civilized society is wearing clothing that covers the genitals. A race of space-faring centaurs that walk around with no pants on would be at least as weird as a race of space-faring humans or elves that walk around with no pants on.

What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?
...soccer (or football as it's called in the rest of the world)
What are centaur martial arts like?
Mostly kicking I'd assume.

I'm not sure. I don't think a centaur can kick above his head like a human can, unless it rears up, I guess. Assuming they are faster than humanoids, they might rely on clotheslining or tackling

What are centaur cities like? or things like space colonies and ship interiors?
Well if they're super advanced I could see it being space colony-like.

But what makes a centaur space colony different from an elf space colony or a dwarf space colony? An elf colony would have a lot of gardens and plants growing everywhere, a dwarf colony would be built into a rocky mountain or asteroid, but what would make a space colony feel like it belongs to centaurs? For example, if centaurs walk everywhere instead of relying on vehicles, their cities might have giant pedestrian conveyor belts like airports do, or if it's easier for them to run long distances than it is for humans, they might have running lanes in the streets, so that slower pedestrians don't get run into. Centaurs might look at a road full of cars causing pollution, costing money and getting into car accidents and think "Pffft, stupid two-legs..."

What is centaur religion like?
Seabiscuit is their lord and savior.

I realize this is a joke, but would centaurs from the centaur planet not worship centaur-shaped gods? If all the gods are centaurs and the only sentient species are centaurs, it might exacerbate the culture shock of meeting two-legged sentient races once they begin to explore space. Would they feel doubt about their existence? Would it make them feel special? Perhaps superior?

One of the concepts behind this space fantasy universe is that all of the various races have their own collection of myths and legends about other mythical beings. For example, Elves have myths about humans, dwarves and centaurs, Dwarves have myths about elves, humans and centaurs, and so forth, which is one of the mysteries that space fantasy scientists try to solve. I haven't yet decided if the mythical peoples are remembered in centaur legend as having 2 legs or 4.

What do centaurs keep as pets?
Humans.

Another concept behind this space fantasy universe is that it is meant to be happening alongside current history. The planet Earth does not have a nature source of magic energy like the other homeworlds do so while humans are stuck on their rock with nothing but science, the other races have been exploring the universe since the first time they thought to make an airtight magic carpet. Where, when and whether humans culture collides with the magic-user aliens is up in the air.

If aliens have already visited Earth and abducted human beings, why couldn't those aliens be centaurs and why couldn't centaurs have taken their abductees back to Pelitar to be pets? Maybe the Bermuda Triangle is actually a centaur snare to catch people to take back as pets. If the pet trade has been going on for long enough, the centaurs may even breed humans to suit their needs. There might be race-humans and work-humans and factories that turn humans into glue and fast-food chains that accidentally put human meat into their burgers.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-17 23:58:30


At 5/17/14 11:06 AM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: So I wanted to share the ridiculous experience with all of you. Here are the sort of questions I've been asking myself about Centaur society:

This should be good...

Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?

If they're anything like horses then maybe they sleep standing up. This may sound primitive, but I reckon it could be akin to something like a barn full of stables, and the Centaurs each have their own little space to sleep in side-by-side-by-side? This could be separate from their main bedrooms (or I guess they're not actually bedrooms in that world, if that's the case) or maybe they all have one but its in each of their own rooms.

How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?

I'd actually imagine that they use skateboard-like devices, and for long distances, automated skateboard-like devices. And of course they do :D (I don't flipping know) Safety first!

How do centaurs go to the bathroom?

OP, you ever experienced those types of urinals where they reach down to the floor? Like, all the down into the ground? Maybe something like that.

What kind of clothing do centaurs wear? Where do they keep their genitals?

Clothes only come out of the need to keep warm. I imagine they use clothes only to keep warm where there is no fur.

What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?

Someone else suggested soccer, and that's a good one. Is it a stretch to imagine them playing volleyball, though?

What are centaur martial arts like?

Ohhhhhhhh, now THAT'S a good one....I don't even have a clue. Probably involves mastering to stand on two legs without any supports? Or at least trying to...

What are centaur cities like? or things like space colonies and ship interiors?

I can hardly imagine the future of humans let alone the future of magical beings.

What is centaur religion like?

War for the first 100,000 years and then in the most recent 500 years acceptance began to spread.

What do centaurs keep as pets?

Whatever animals they were able to domesticate enough to train to hunt with thousands of years ago.

And then I have to wonder how centaurs do the things that one would normally expect in a civilized fantasy or sci-fi universe. What is it like to be a centaur doctor? centaur priest? centaur secretary? centaur construction worker? centaur maid? centaur butler? centaur detective? centaur witch? centaur psychic? centaur gangsta? centaur Indiana Jones? centaur Hulk Hogan? centaur KISS? centaur Beyonce? centaur captain? centaur pirate? centaur ninja? centaur mafia? centaur escort service? centaur circus performers? centaur super hero? centaur cyborg?

Oh God. My head. Uggggh, my head. Too much imagination for me...

You've got your work cut out for you trying to develop this whole story. Good luck to you, seriously...Don't get lazy and make robots do all the work lol.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-18 14:01:10


At 5/17/14 11:39 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Right, so what is a centaur bed like? Does it need to be L-shaped or are they flexible enough to lie down on their backs or straight on their sides?

Like a really big circular shaped bed. And I could imagine them sleeping on their stomachs like I've seen cats do. Also I've seen many horses sleeping flat on their sides.

Would a urinal work for centaurs?

Lift their front legs in the air and place on the wall and aim at said urinal.

I feel like one of the basic prerequisites for civilized society is wearing clothing that covers the genitals. A race of space-faring centaurs that walk around with no pants on would be at least as weird as a race of space-faring humans or elves that walk around with no pants on.

I'm not entirely sure how they'd be able to get pants on though. They're all horse from the waist down.

What are centaur martial arts like?
Mostly kicking I'd assume.
I'm not sure. I don't think a centaur can kick above his head like a human can, unless it rears up, I guess. Assuming they are faster than humanoids, they might rely on clotheslining or tackling

Yeah I can see them being more able to kick and do tackles better than humans. Also the majority of my responses were stuff I found amusing and that thing with the martial arts is cracking me up every time I see it.


Formally known as Viper50

When you get into one of these groups theres only a couple of ways you can get out. One is death. The other is mental institution.

Last.fm Youtube

BBS Signature

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-18 14:42:12


At 5/17/14 11:58 PM, CiviLies wrote:
At 5/17/14 11:06 AM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: So I wanted to share the ridiculous experience with all of you. Here are the sort of questions I've been asking myself about Centaur society:
This should be good...

Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?
If they're anything like horses then maybe they sleep standing up. This may sound primitive, but I reckon it could be akin to something like a barn full of stables, and the Centaurs each have their own little space to sleep in side-by-side-by-side? This could be separate from their main bedrooms (or I guess they're not actually bedrooms in that world, if that's the case) or maybe they all have one but its in each of their own rooms.

How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?
I'd actually imagine that they use skateboard-like devices, and for long distances, automated skateboard-like devices. And of course they do :D (I don't flipping know) Safety first!

How would a skateboard work for 4 legs though? It would have to be as long as surfboard and wide enough to put right and left legs aside each other, since a centaur can't stand sideways like a human and can't balance with the toes like a human kind.

I think you might be thinking of something close to what I've had in mind, a wheel-less, horse-less chariot or a bioroid hovercraft, which is essentially a large flat surface with a scooter handle. Mine would have magic powered hover engines.


How do centaurs go to the bathroom?
OP, you ever experienced those types of urinals where they reach down to the floor? Like, all the down into the ground? Maybe something like that.

Yeah, my main theory so far is that they use something akin to an Indian or Japanese squatting toilet.

What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?
Someone else suggested soccer, and that's a good one. Is it a stretch to imagine them playing volleyball, though?

Volleyball makes more sense to me than soccer. I mean, I guess it shouldn't be any harder to dribble with 4 legs than it is with 2, but the very thought of that sounds too weird. Also, I don't think horse legs have the same flexibility as human legs and can't use the shape of the foot. For example, a centaur couldn't pass with the instep or hook it with the dorsal for a power shot. My sense is that they would be more at home playing American football or field hockey (or polo). Maybe they also have some kind of sport jousting.

What are centaur martial arts like?
Ohhhhhhhh, now THAT'S a good one....I don't even have a clue. Probably involves mastering to stand on two legs without any supports? Or at least trying to...

I suspect covering their asses would be a major concern. A human can spin around or move out of the way fairly quickly, but it's a more complicated maneuver for a centaur. Standing on the hindlegs might help with that. They might also use hind leg stance for combo attacks, i.e, punch, punch, rear up, kick up with both forelegs.

You've got your work cut out for you trying to develop this whole story. Good luck to you, seriously...Don't get lazy and make robots do all the work lol.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-18 15:00:56


At 5/18/14 02:01 PM, Viper wrote:
At 5/17/14 11:39 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Right, so what is a centaur bed like? Does it need to be L-shaped or are they flexible enough to lie down on their backs or straight on their sides?
Like a really big circular shaped bed. And I could imagine them sleeping on their stomachs like I've seen cats do. Also I've seen many horses sleeping flat on their sides.

I also enjoyed this suggestion

I feel like one of the basic prerequisites for civilized society is wearing clothing that covers the genitals. A race of space-faring centaurs that walk around with no pants on would be at least as weird as a race of space-faring humans or elves that walk around with no pants on.
I'm not entirely sure how they'd be able to get pants on though. They're all horse from the waist down.

I'm thinking they could wear pants in the front that they pull up and then tie behind their backs, like a jacket for the legs. The hind legs are more complicated, because it would be hard to reach.

It might be that centaurs need other centaurs to help get dressed, which would lead to broader implications in centaur society. They might also be less territorial than humans and don't care as much about privacy (which would also be true if they run around naked)

If they have magical flying hoverboards and spaceships already, it's not unreasonable to suspect that they have some magitechnological solution to putting clothes on. If so, it means that their society hasn't been wearing clothing (at least not genitalia coverings) until relatively recently. Perhaps it's a practice that centaurs have learned from their encounters with alien races.

Another theory is that they have prehensile tails like Earth Ponies and can use those to dress themselves. This adaptation would probably also be useful in bed. (If they indeed use beds for .... that)

Also the majority of my responses were stuff I found amusing and that thing with the martial arts is cracking me up every time I see it.

It's hard not to be amused by centaurs. That's why I'm sharing.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-18 18:34:01


At 5/18/14 02:42 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote:
How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?
I'd actually imagine that they use skateboard-like devices, and for long distances, automated skateboard-like devices. And of course they do :D (I don't flipping know) Safety first!
How would a skateboard work for 4 legs though? It would have to be as long as surfboard and wide enough to put right and left legs aside each other, since a centaur can't stand sideways like a human and can't balance with the toes like a human kind.

I think you might be thinking of something close to what I've had in mind, a wheel-less, horse-less chariot or a bioroid hovercraft, which is essentially a large flat surface with a scooter handle. Mine would have magic powered hover engines.

Hover crafts are great :D Especially for a magic-sci-fi setting. Though if the board was large enough, then maybe a skateboarding-centaur would look just like this dog...?

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-19 13:09:27


That's true, if a dog can do it, you'd think a centaur can too.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-19 17:01:55


I think the attached image is a good example of what clothes a centaur might wear. They don't have much need to cover their horse parts, so jackets and shirts would pretty much be the way to go.

At 5/18/14 03:00 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Another theory is that they have prehensile tails like Earth Ponies and can use those to dress themselves. This adaptation would probably also be useful in bed. (If they indeed use beds for .... that)

I think your view of Earth ponies is a little bit skewed.

Space Centaur Civilization


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Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-19 17:07:01


At 5/17/14 11:06 AM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Where do centaurs sleep? Do they lie down?

it's fancy stables with silver hay

How do centaurs get around? Do they drive cars? hovercycles? How do they wear seat belts?

galloping i suppose

How do centaurs go to the bathroom?

in separate stables

What kind of clothing do centaurs wear? Where do they keep their genitals?

bronze armor that weighs over 7 tons
titanium for the elite
sex offenders get gelded

What sports do centaurs play? Can they dunk?

barbaric gladiator deathmatches

What are centaur martial arts like?

lots of hoofs stomping and kicking up dust and leaning forward

What are centaur cities like? or things like space colonies and ship interiors?

that i can't figure out

What is centaur religion like?

take planet of the apes' religion and apply it to horses

What do centaurs keep as pets?

their own children


When ever you feel powerless, just remember this.

A single one of your pubes can shut down an entire restaurant. - Conal / MOTW: O Lucky Man!

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Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-20 00:14:07


At 5/19/14 05:01 PM, DM692 wrote:
At 5/18/14 03:00 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote: Another theory is that they have prehensile tails like Earth Ponies and can use those to dress themselves. This adaptation would probably also be useful in bed. (If they indeed use beds for .... that)
I think your view of Earth ponies is a little bit skewed.

Not Earth ponies, Earth Ponies. They are from a cartoon show about anthropomorphic horses. Because they don't have hands, they are often depicted manipulating objects with their mouth or hooves, and the race/breed/people known as Earth Ponies also manipulate objects with their tails.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-20 13:07:07


You should check out the spelljammer campaign setting for dungeons and dragons. It delves into quite a few of the themes you want to go over OP.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-20 17:18:04


At 5/20/14 01:07 PM, Richard wrote: You should check out the spelljammer campaign setting for dungeons and dragons. It delves into quite a few of the themes you want to go over OP.

I'm familiar with it. Spelljammers has a strong "Fuck My Boss!" flavor where they seem to just make shit as crazy as they possibly can. The first line of the book is "Everything you know about space is wrong". I don't mind a little "everything you know about centaurs is wrong" but I want the setting as a whole to be more believable than what I've seen of spelljammer.

Response to Space Centaur Civilization 2014-05-20 23:56:12


At 5/20/14 05:18 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote:
I don't mind a little "everything you know about centaurs is wrong" but I want the setting as a whole to be more believable than what I've seen of spelljammer.

True. I mean, it's really hard to make giant space hamsters believable.