At 9/6/14 01:11 AM, Inplosion wrote: I wish for money , any amount just right in front of me .

Granted. One cent appears in front of you. This is what you get for not specifying the amount.

I wish for $1 million in pennies. Then I could bathe in money.

At 9/6/14 09:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for $1 million in pennies. Then I could bathe in money.

Granted. You know that smell on your hands after you've been rolling coins? That's your whole body now.

I wish for the ability to fire a shotgun while smoking a cigar, losing effectiveness with neither.

At 9/6/14 12:18 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for the ability to fire a shotgun while smoking a cigar, losing effectiveness with neither.

Granted, but Obama comes and takes your gun for "safety issues", and an environmentalist hippy takes your cigar and throws it into a garbage can saying "Stop the air pollution and global warming maaaaann."

I wish people would shut up about the non-existent global warming.

At 9/6/14 12:24 PM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:

At 9/6/14 12:18 PM, stafffighter wrote: I wish for the ability to fire a shotgun while smoking a cigar, losing effectiveness with neither.

Granted, but Obama comes and takes your gun for "safety issues", and an environmentalist hippy takes your cigar and throws it into a garbage can saying "Stop the air pollution and global warming maaaaann."

I wish people would shut up about the non-existent global warming.

Granted, only to find out it has been pretty much existent all the time.

I wish right-wingers weren't so fucking stupid.

At 9/6/14 09:14 PM, DarkBowser007 wrote: I wish we got Japan's release date for Smash 4.

Granted, we get conquered by Japan the day before it comes out.

I wish Smash 4 had a better title.

At 9/6/14 09:22 PM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:
I wish Smash 4 had a better title.

Granted. It's now called Super Smash Bros: World of Warcraft Edition.

I wish the character that my user icon is based on was in Smash Bros.

At 9/6/14 10:06 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish the character that my user icon is based on was in Smash Bros.

Granted, but the new Smash is a Japan exclusive that is unplayable in Japan.

I wish for every Black Sabbath album ever released.

At 9/7/14 12:02 AM, Smittytheghost wrote:
I wish for every Black Sabbath album ever released.

Granted. You have every single Black Sabbath album in every format ever made. Metal fans across the world are outraged that their Sabbath material has gone missing, somehow STOLEN from them. MP3's across all devices and storage medias go vanishing...it becomes a tragedy for metal forever ingrained into history and legend, the outcry resounding. So fierce is the sadness and fury from this impossible happening, that people that have never heard Black Sabbath before are now curious...all that remains are covers and scribes of the notes to how the songs of legend go. Ozzy, the spirit of Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, everyone that ever had anything to do with Black Sabbath are either praised as Gods or Shunned as Demons....so there's no real change there, but its just been amplified.

When you are found to possess...EVERYTHING Black Sabbath... the tides of metal come for you. They dance in your blood, and upon your grave, Black Sabbath perform songs devoted to your sorcery. The world celebrates your death, you character vilified and assassinated, you become the most hated man in all of metal.

I wish I was Better and Faster at all of my skills.

At 9/7/14 12:30 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I was Better and Faster at all of my skills.

Granted. Everything you're already good at, you become amazing at, and can do these things much faster. However, you become supremely bored with how easily and quickly you can do everything. You end up developing more skills in a futile attempt to keep your life interesting, but too late you realize you've perfected the skill of boring yourself to death.

I wish I couldn't be harmed by sharp objects.

At 9/7/14 09:25 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I had a robot to do my laundry.

Granted, but it's a killer robot and not particularly suited for doing laundry.

I wish I could wear the same clothes forever without starting to stink.

At 9/7/14 09:58 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish I could wear the same clothes forever without starting to stink.

Granted, but you can never take them off, not even in the shower, and eventually people start thinking you are crazy and stop talking to you. You die a lonely miserable, yet clean smelling death.

I wish I didn't have gas (and I'm not talking about car fuel).

At 9/7/14 10:02 AM, VJF wrote:

At 9/7/14 09:58 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish I could wear the same clothes forever without starting to stink.

Granted, but you can never take them off, not even in the shower, and eventually people start thinking you are crazy and stop talking to you. You die a lonely miserable, yet clean smelling death.

I wish I didn't have gas (and I'm not talking about car fuel).

Granted. Since air is a gas, you die of asphyxiation.

I wish for my very own spaceship.

At 9/7/14 10:05 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for my very own spaceship.

Granted, but it was built by NASA so it explodes upon takeoff.

I wish cats and dogs would remain kittens and puppies and stay cute forever rather than growing up into ugly creatures.

At 9/7/14 10:18 AM, VJF wrote:

At 9/7/14 10:05 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for my very own spaceship.

Granted, but it was built by NASA so it explodes upon takeoff.

I wish cats and dogs would remain kittens and puppies and stay cute forever rather than growing up into ugly creatures.

Granted, but they're even more aggressive now that no one expects them to be.

I wish for a spaceship that won't explode upon takeoff.

At 9/7/14 10:25 AM, Jojo55 wrote:

At 9/7/14 10:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a spaceship that won't explode upon takeoff.

Granted. It explodes before takeoff.

I wish for infinite milk.

Granted, but you're lactose intolerant.

I wish my father wasn't allergic to everything.

At 9/7/14 10:34 AM, Jojo55 wrote: I wish to be struck by a flying ice cream truck (and live).

Granted, but you still don't get your ice cream.

I wish for ice cream.

At 9/7/14 10:34 AM, Jojo55 wrote: I wish to be struck by a flying ice cream truck (and live).

You live, but it horribly disfigures you.

I wish my dad hated The Last Airbender movie like he should.

At 9/7/14 10:36 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish my dad hated The Last Airbender movie like he should.

Granted, but now you like it.

See my wish above.

fucking hell

At 9/7/14 10:38 AM, Jojo55 wrote: I wish people didn't ninja each other (skip posts).

Granted, now we literally ninja each other.

I wish to ninja someone.

At 9/7/14 11:44 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish all my electronics were powered without wires.

Granted, now they're all battery-driven, so you have to change batteries all the time.

I wish my PC was driven by solar energy.

At 9/7/14 02:21 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish wood did not burn.

Granted. Nothing burns anymore.

NOTHING BURNS EVER AGAIN.

NOTHING.

I wish that every day I earned $695 in a secure bank account that belongs to me.

At 9/7/14 08:00 PM, SentForMe wrote:

Granted, but in order to earn that money every day you are required to lick Donald Trump's shoes clean every day. He requires you to be very thorough.

I wish I owned a whole country.

Wish Granted but your country has no military so it's doomed.

I wish MTV brings back old music videos just like they did in the 80's.

At 9/7/14 11:46 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could do a perfect impression of anyone's voice.

Granted, but you can't control it. Sometimes it'll switch on you in mid-sentence...people think you have a mental disorder. You're sad because after a while, you forget what you used to sound like...its neat at parties whenever the voice decides to land on something cool, but most of the time its something obnoxious, or its cracking out like you're hitting puberty.

I wish I could make my enemies suffer in any way I wanted instantaneously with as much effort as a thought.

At 9/8/14 03:17 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I could make my enemies suffer in any way I wanted instantaneously with as much effort as a thought.

Granted. You become a horrible evil person.

I wish I had no enemies.

At 9/8/14 12:49 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I had a 3D printer that could create anything.

Granted, it creates a black hole that destroys Earth.

I wish your username was less inviting to bad puns.

At 9/9/14 09:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish your username was less inviting to bad puns.

Granted, you two switch accounts.

I wish I got the job that I applied for, because I know I can do it. Plus I'd get to work shoulder to shoulder with some of my oldest friends.

At 9/9/14 08:23 PM, SentForMe wrote:

I wish that the whole world was made of gold.

Granted. The soft metal wrapped around the liquid hot core instantly implodes.

I wish for the person answering this wish to get a really nice bowie knife.

At 9/9/14 08:38 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for the person answering this wish to get a really nice bowie knife.

Granted. It's a dull replica...it looks great, but it's practically useless.

It has something ingrained on it... "Love, stafffighter."

Huh...thanks, I guess... now I have this bigass display knife...not big enough to wall mount, but not small enough to desk mount...what the hell am I supposed to do with this.

I later gift you with something impractical. Its an awkward affair.

I wish to be permanently in shape, like a Spartan from 300.

At 9/9/14 10:17 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish everything was biodegradable.

Granted. Everything decays at a hyper-accelerated rate. They call it "The Great Rottening."

Famine ensues. Many die.

( See wish above )

At 9/10/14 01:25 AM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish for a steam powered zeppelin that feels like a mansion inside!

Granted. You even get a pilot with it so you don't have to fly it yourself. The only problem is, that pilot used to work for Malaysian Airlines...

I wish for a mansion.