Something Unoriginal
by Eric Izsak
*Opening
Main Characters: (all are aged 22-23)
Greg Weaver: (aka too smart)Has long wavy blonde hair has a doofy look on his face. He is average height. With way above average intelligence, and can be a smartass.
Myles Walker: (aka overconfident)Bald, has face of a 14 year old,and is considerably shorter than the other characters is completely overconfident an has a superiority complex. He's a high school drop out He may or may not be a pot dealer. Though a complete asshole he will come through for his friends only. But only after he's helped himself.
Damon Sunshine: (aka Too Sad) Has dark hair with part covering his eyes. HE always seems serious or depressed even when he's actually happy. He's the tallest of the group, but isn't a giant. He wears dark clothes. Some say he's part werewolf part vampire, and might've been a car salesperson. He has above average intelligence, but not nearly as smart as Greg. He is the most reasonable of the 3. He is closest with Greg though, and we have no idea why he and Myles are friends.
(Showing Blenn Geck on TV close up on it being watched not showing apartment or character watching the Show)
Blenn Geck: So tonight we will discuss how the fascistislamocommunists want to abduct christian children at night for satanic mass. Now as you look at this diagram...
(T.V. shuts off, show Greg Weaver with a curious look on face he's sitting in the middle of a 2 person couch. There's poster of a tapeworm right above him, and right to the left of it hangs a poster of a butt. The room is dimly lit by a lamp that occasionally flickers. There's a slight mess but not unwelcoming.)
Greg: That's a load of Bull. I'm christian and I have only been abducted once, but those were just creepy old guys...
(Greg's Cell phone rings)
Damon: Hey dude me and Myles are meeting up at the Creepy Clown, you coming?
Greg: Only if that guy in the trenchcoat stops eyeing me up...
Damon: See you in 5
*End scene
(New Scene opens to Greg walking up to Creepy Clown on 71st Ave., it's a busy street It's a sunny day outside. The only store viewable is Creepy clown restaurant. The store has a multicolored drapery hanging down from the side. The Entrance is all windows. The door knobs on the entrance are 2 "Cs". A creepy clown statue with movable arms are waving at passerbys. Tbe top arm looks like its waving hello. THe lower arm is downward as if it looks like its groping people and by angle looks like touching a kid passing by )
Greg(to self): (shudders)Bad memories...
(inside clown, Damon is already inside sitting at table right next to window at front of the restaurant. The design on the table looks like confetti and candy)
Greg: Yerr, What up?
(Myles enters clown nods to damon and greg and walks up to counter every employee looks exactly same as a clown, with red hair wig,. The place has posters of clowns and other images deemed creepy. The set up is like a stereotypical fast food place)
Myles: Yo, hommie, gimme one unmarked white van meal, with fried circus peanuts(misprounced penis?) , throw in one bloody corndog, extra blood, oh and a coke.
Counterperson: Hey Myles, would you like to toot my horn?
Myles: Nah man, I'll just have a small today.
Counterperson: that'll be $3.71, your order, Myyyylllles, will be ready in under 5 minutes, Arnold is watching and he likes his food delivery like his children, punctual
(Myles walks over to table with tray of food and sits next to greg opposite of Damon)
Myles:So what's the gameplan?
Greg: A shitty movie...I dont know, I have this urge to cockslap Blenn Geck
Myles: F##...
Greg: Seriously, how can anyone believe a word he says he believes liberal german shepherds are infiltrating the government, I thought he was just being an ass to German people until he posted a pic of a dog...
Damon: then why don't you just not watch that crap?...
Greg: I don't know just an urge, I think...
Myles: or we can sew his mouth shut...
Greg: How high are you when you think of this crap?
Myles: Not much else to do here but burn, and plan to hurt glenn beck.
Damon: (in amazement) I actually agree with you...
Myles: OK so lets find this jerk
Damon: Not what I was agreeing to
Myles: too late, shoulda read the fine print
Damon (looking at Greg): You're coming with us since you gave him this idea
Greg: Well he was right there's nothing better to do...
(All exit creepy clown, walk down block same direction that Greg walked to it towards subway station, on the way pass by stores and the sidewalks are busy and noticeable homeless people on the side. A shadowy figure in a trenchcoat blocking his face up to his eyes, Dixon ( later revealed he looks like Nixon), follows group)
(They get off the last car on the E Train at 53and Lex.. It's a dark station, with a n orangy yellowish tint to the lighting. Various puddles are around and water is dripping from the roof even though it hasn't rained in a week in this fictional universe.)
Greg: So where do we go from here?
(Shadowy figure steps out from behind one of the support beams on train, and it's dark behind column as well.)
Dixon(looks like Nixon): Ironic how we're meeting like this...If you want to take down Beck meet me at Sheep's meadow in an hour...
Greg: Why don't we just talk here?
Dixon(is Nixon): No, meadow, hour, ass...(disappears in shadows)
Damon: WTF was that about?
Myles: I dun kno but at least we're meeting at a place where we can smoke.
*Scene Ends
(Scene opens one hour later at Central park in a plot of land known as Sheep's Meadow (actual place) not a cloud in the sky. It's obviously summer based on people's attire (ignoring Damon who always wears black, in background there's a stereotypical tree then seeing old Asian man jogging in light blue wifebeater [inside joke which would be explained if future episode comes to fruition], and red hat running away from bigfoot. then followed short thereafter bigfoot walks in background stops to the left of the tree turns to the audience, and starts dancing, eventually hippies join him...this happens throughout the scene and there's a noticeable growth of crowd of dancing hippies throughout in dialogue of the main characters)
(Main characters are 25 feet away from tree a rock sticks out from ground where we see Myles sitting down on it. Greg seems impatient, while Damon is standing but seemingly indifferent)
**Dixon appears from thin air while Myles is holding an already lit blunt)
Dixon: so you made it
Greg: yea what's the big deal about Geck? He is just an ass on T.V i just kindawanted to knock some sense into him.
(Myles holds blunt towards Dixon)
Myles: Want a hit?
Dixon: What am I, an F'in hippie?!?!!!
Myles: pshhhhht. Dick...
Dixon (answers as if being addressed): yes?
Myles (with head tilted): What?
DIxon: Blenn Geck is a massive threat to the status quo
(Bigfoot stops dancing and starts to eat dancing hippies blood splatters everywhere)
Greg: Why what is he doing?
Dixon: I don't have much time, just don't look at his blackboard
Greg: Why?
Dixon: No time (Hippie blood from bigfoot massacre splashes on Dixon) Goddam hippies and their blood orgies!! (runs off into distance)
Damon: I want a blood orgie
Myles: Shut up n hit this shit
Greg: we must stop his blackboard, I guess? Whatever it's doing...
Damon: Can we just do this tomorrow?
Greg: Fine...
***Fake Commercial****
(scene opens Myles turns on T.V in his dilapidated messy apt. what seems to be his ceiling seems to be partially on floor at a right angle. If the floor exists you wouldn't know from the mess. Mess varies from brown socks that used to be white to random trash, people can be creative with what else is found on floor)
Blenn Geck: See I'm a bigger civil rights activist than MLK, if it were up to him we'd be sucking the dirty toes of commies. The only civil rights we have were told to me by Jesus. See if you look CLOSELY at this diagram, yes now follow the diagram... you can see the holy land is in disarray...
Myles: Disarrrraaaayyy (His eyes start going to back of his head)..
