I've been building a history over the past weeks about some kind of slice-of-life/drama/romance Visual Novel.
I'd be very grateful to anyone who reads this post to comment about what i've done so far, where i need to improve, point out some bad points in my history and some other stuff.
Please, keep in mind that this is my very first time creating a history, so it might not be a wonderfull history.
Notes:
1) I dont have a name for the history yet, i think i can give it a better name if i make the whole history first.
2) Since i haven't named the characters yet, ill be using some names from characters of some other animes, then later, i will change them.
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The history is about a second year student, who lost his mother when he was a fresh man, the first chapter starts at the first day as a second year student, and had already lost his mother, and because of her death, he stopped caring about school, and his father entered into deep depression.
April 1 - In the lunch break of the first school day of the year, he went to the cafeteria to buy his lunch, and sees a girl, standing before the crowd of people, waiting patiently for it to clear up.
Since she sits in front of his desk, he recognizes her as one of his classmates, and goes there to ask her what she'd like for lunch, offering himself to go into the crowd and buy it for her.
She accepts his kindness and gives him enough money to buy it, and after that, she asks him if she could have lunch together with him, he tells her to go have lunch with her friends, but she doesn't answer, and thus, he accepts her offer.
The bell rings and school's over, as Tomoya is going out of the classroom, the same girl grabs his sleeve from his back and stops him, asking him if she could go home with him.
On middle of the way, he asks her why didn't she say anything about her friends, then, she says she doesn't have anyone, and asks him if he could be her first friend, and since he couldn't make any friends either, he accepts her offer.
April 2 - On the next day, they have lunch together, and Tomoya asks her name, which is Nagisa. (Says Na.gui.sa)
(On the next 2 weeks, they simply fool around, talking with each other at lunch break and enjoying some of their school life... (nothing of interest happens, it's the "fun" part of the Visual Novel, so I won't be adding it to this post, but obviously, i am going to write what they did on those 2 weeks on the Visual Novel Game))
April 16 -After school ends, they were on their way home on one of the school's corridors, and they notice a door slightly open, which was an abandoned club room, they peep inside to see if there's anyone in there, and they see a girl's back, sitting on a chair, Nagisa goes next to her and notices tears flowing on her cheeks, but she isnt sobbing at all, Nagisa asks her if shes alright, but she only nods, not looking at Nagisa.
The girl says: "Leave me alone..."
When Nagisa was about to say something, the girl cut her off saying "Please."
Speechless, Nagisa leaves her alone and tells Tomoya to do the same.
On their way home, Tomoya asks Nagisa if she is worried about that girl, and if they should do something about it. Nagisa nods.
On the next day, they went to the staff room on lunch break to ask about the lone girl they saw, they knew she was a first year because of the color of her uniform, and described her as much as they could.
The teachers told them her classroom, but not her name, because that girl asked the teachers to not to reveal her name to anyone.
Still on lunch break, they go to her class, 1-D, and ask some guy from 1-D near the door to get her, but he also said that he didn't know her name, nor where she goes to on lunch break.
Tomoya and Nagisa try searching for her on some club rooms, but she wasn't anywhere to be found, and losing the hopes of finding her, they give up for that day.
April 17 - On lunch break, both of them go to the school building reserved for club rooms and the library.
Peeping into the windows of the rooms, they see various kinds of clubs: Drama, Chorus, Science, Carving Arts and even a Tea Club, and finally, they find that girl.
Slowly sliding open an abandoned club room, Tomoya silently asks Nagisa to wait there.
Approaching the girl, Tomoya notices that she's reading a book, and Tomoya tries talking to her:
Tomoya: Hey, why are you here?
Girl: .....
No answer.
Tomoya: Hello?
Girl: .....
Tomoya's Thoughts: She seems so concentrated on her reading that she didn't even notice me... Should I do something to call her attention?
1- Poke her
2- Flip a page
3- Leave her alone
1- "Approaching her, you softly poke her cheek.
No answer.
Tomoya: ... *poke* .... *poke poke* .... *po-*
Girl: *Grabs Tomoya's Hand* You want to die don't you?
Tomoya: Uh, sorry, I thought you didn't notice me.
Girl: And how wouldn't I notice someone poking me?
Tomoya: That's not what I meant... but...
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2- "Approaching her book, as you were about to flip a page, she immediately grabs your hand"
Girl: Don't.
Tomoya: Oh, sorry, I was just trying to catch your attention.
Girl: You have it.
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Continuation of 1st and 2nd options:
Tomoya: Uh... Why are you here, all by yourself?
Girl: Because... Ah... (She hesites) Because everyone else is annoying.
Tomoya's Thoughts: Somehow, I think she was going to say something else.
Tomoya: Why is that so?
Girl: Why would I tell you how I feel, how I think of everyone else?
Tomoya: Well...
1- Nevermind then.
2- Keep silent and watch her.
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1- "This option leaves you unable to continue on this girl's path.
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2- "You tell Nagisa to go have her lunch alone today, and grabbing a chair, you place it next to the girl and sitting on it you..."
Tomoya: ...stare...
Girl: Are you a pervert or something?
Tomoya: Eh? N-no no, I'm just watching you, but if I'm bothering you, I'll leave.
Girl: ... Fine, but don't try anything.
Tomoya: I won't.
1- Try to see what she's reading.
2- Don't do anything and just stay like this.
3- Ask her name.
1- "Slowly approaching your chair to hers without making noise, you try to look from her shoulder to
see what she's reading"
Girl: Wahh! *Noticing you, she falls down of her chair*.
Girl: Are you trying to look at my chest?! *As she says that, she covers her chest with both her arms,
with a blushing face*
Tomoya: What?! N-no! I was just trying to see what you were reading!
Girl: ...Either ask me that or look the book's cover!!
Tomoya: Ah... I'm...really sorry...
Girl: *pff* She hides her mouth with her left hand and lets out a low sound, which seemed like a laugh. She gets up and cleans her skirt with her hands, then, she looks at me.
Tomoya: Hmm, Mind telling me your name?
Girl: Yes, I do.
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2- "Stare... Stare... Stare..."
Girl: ... It's creeping having you look at me with such fixed eyes...
Tomoya: Oh, sorry.
Girl: Nah, don't worry; it's not a burden or anything.
Tomoya: Okay...
Tomoya's Thoughts: I think she smiled for a few seconds, but it's gone already.
Tomoya: Hmm, Mind telling me your name?
Girl: Yes, I do.
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3- Tomoya: Can you tell me your name?
Girl: No.
An instant reply...
Tomoya: Why?
Girl: Because you're just like the others... annoying.
Tomoya: ... How so?
Girl: Everyone did the same, came by, annoyed me and asked me a question I hate.
Tomoya: I see, I'm leaving you alone then.
Girl: Thank you.
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*Ran out of words, it continues on the next post*
