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I wrote poem, whoo!

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I wrote poem, whoo! 2010-10-23 03:27:27


Critique?
This is my favorite poem out of a couple that I have written, I'll post more if you guys want. =D
Let me know what to work on and if you like it.
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At the end of this world, I lay waiting
Watching the the thick gray clouds, pregnant with the earth
To finally reach the end of it's climax.

The oceans that run over the edge of this world, lay dry
Waiting in suspense, for the earth's marbled waters.

And yet, this is how it has always been
The earth, solemn and gray.

Here I lay, in wait for the earth's marbled waters.
In suspense for the new age.
Here I have stayed for the beginning,
here I will stay for the end.


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Response to I wrote poem, whoo! 2010-10-23 03:32:19


I fail at grammar ;-;
I feel dumb now...


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Response to I wrote poem, whoo! 2010-10-23 03:44:29


Is this a poem about capital "g" God? or relationships? or life in general? depression?

See it's this kind of stuff why I generally never critique poetry. I like how this sounds but I think I need some Cliff's Notes.