hey, this is a bit more bearable! i won't review much on composition as we can worry about that later, so i'll just talk about the technical stuff.

is there any way you could play around with the effects in lmms? (limiter, reeverb, eq, etc.) it seems that you do have a basic understanding for effects considering that reeverb and delays were used in this song. for the reeverb, i will say that you need it to be subtle, as having too much would cause a muddy aftereffect. the voicy synth sounds too dry though. (as in no reeverb)

a limiter is important if you want to limit your sound to a certain volume. (don't use it in situations were just lowering it down would do the trick, it can cause some distortion if poorly used) if you can see in the waveform newgrounds gives you, the parts where your song is building up (;49 and 2;16) are parts that are more louder than the other parts. adding a limiter would do just fine right there! (add it to the master bus tho) this is also essential for mastering your song to make it loud without getting it past 0db (which clips if your song does get past it, but some dynamics could be lost if used in excess)

as for the eq, there should be a visualizer in the plugin that allows you to see the waveform of the sound its on. for example, the square pad. it has tons of sound from the low end to the high end. the low end of the square pad will clash a lot with the lower sounds in the song, so you would need to eq that out. since it's all a matter of feel and ears, i suggest you to check out a tutorial on how to mix.

as for your sounds, maybe you should search for free sample packs, vsts, or soundfonts to get your sound past the default ones lmms gives you. (it's not bad to use default sounds, although it's like going with the default skin in minecraft) my suggestions would be surge and helm for synth vsts, arachno soundfont, korg ag-10, or sgm-v2.01 for midi soundfonts, and the sample packs you could search out yourself for those edm drums. (be safe though you wouldn't want any viruses)

really liked the cute voicy synth you made! how did you make it actually? is there a plugin in lmms that lets you do that? that's all from me, wouldn't want to go too far into things, but you are getting the hang of it. good job!

p.s. "omfg style" is more like bounce or glitch-hop, but house works too ig