*yawns*
Oh man
Welp, I guess that about does it for tonight, now to shut down.
*discord ping*
Op, wait a minute, what’s this?
*ping* Oh my god, there’s ano-
*ping* Oh Jesus Christ
(pings in background) What the hell is going on with my computer *sighs*
*You’ve Got a Friend in Me instrumental plays in the background, pings hasten and then dramatically stop to allow the singing to begin*
Calm down, pardner
Don’t worry pal, it’s me, Discord
I’m gonna tell ya just what’s goin’ on

You’ve got a friend request
*tuba* [or is that a baritone?]
You’ve got a friend request

Gettin’ late, gotta
Go to bed, just before you shut down
What’s that read *ping syncing with the music*
A notification, this is what it said

Yeah you’ve got a friend request
Yeah you’ve got a friend request

*in a dark and ominous voice* No prior contact, no mutual servers, no mutual friends

You’ve got a friend request
You’ve got a friend request
Tatiana [spelling unknown]
She’s from Budapest
In the thumbnail she’s showing both her breasts
Biting her upper lip and imagining the rest

You’ve got a friend request (ha ha ha)
You’ve got a friend request (so add them already)

Discord needs you to see
No more worldly troubles if you just add me

*in a mocking voice* All I need are numbers from your old C.C.
Credit [that word I can’t discern, please correct me] please

You’ve got a friend request (friend request)
You’ve got a friend request (all of the time)

Local single mom named Destiny
I know, you know, all of us know

*another synced ping*
You’ve got a friend request
*synced ping*
Yeah, you’ve got a friend request
*instrumental*

*fading in* please just block me I don’t give a shit
Because, in reality, I’m actually just a fucking bot and

Listen, um, attention all Discord gamers, if you could just give me your parents’: credit card number, three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year, that’d be great.

*at the same time as “great”* No, no I’m not doing that, get away from me. This app fucking sucks, I’m moving to telegram.

*fin*