this was recorded during a strenous time in my life when all the pieces of the large puzzle of life became very apparent and soon i had been swollowed in a large cashm falling and sinking further and further until i finally realized that there was no bottom it iwas then and only then that i realized that i was dead and then thats when i woke up. it wasnt long before i was institutionalized for my behavior and at one point i hadnt heard from my family for over 8 months. but then the other day i was remembering a past event which held a key to unlock what i think that i needed to know for my huge huge huge bag of displeasure was full and i needed a place to empty it. i chose a garden by the free way where i dug up a flower and wore it in the basin of a large tom tale hat yes and it was black with a blue ribbon hanging down the side but the car burning in the sun was as red as a hot coal and would not start i began hitch hiking until the next town over when i heard a bang over the horizon and up up i went to the florida basin plant city working as an orange gatherer for pennies on the dime. raule and i had a lot of fun hitting ol needlemeyer with frozen oranges out of my old potato gun. it was a fun time that summer until raule got up in the middle of the nght and disappeared i never saw him again. plant city was a fun time that summer and i wsih that i could go back more than anything. the green grass wavign really reminded me of my brother and how we used to throw eggs at wood panneleld station wagons on the highway near nealons college back in omaha in the late 90s. it was fun but one time th epolce came and they took our eggs even though we said that we were only baking a cake with teh eggs. the cop said haha very funny and tossed us into the back of the car. he drove us to a desolate bridge and made me watch as he threw my friend johnny off the bridge. he came back in and told me that if i told anyone what i just saw that there would be hell to pay and it would be coming out of my bank account. so i have kept my mouth shut until this day. i had a picnic with a girl in the green waving grass in plant city. she really liked my singing voice but i only had a guitar with 2 strings and i was smoking 3 packs of cigarettes that i was stealing a day from old vladimirs convenience store on the corner of palm street and waterlilly lane. i used to go in there with sally and joe fishburne and sally would distract vladimir by tripping over the extension cord running out back that powered the illegal gambling operation back there. we did this about 3 times a week for ciggies. i was doing it at the time as i played that 2 stringed guitar in the waving fields of plant ciyty. i wish i could some day go back to plant city and back to where the bumblebees roam and where raule and his famous frozen orange slurpee was being enjoyed on the docks of the bays and otis reading playing in the spekaers with the sun goin down over the gulf of mexico and a big ol ice cold pina colada in my other hand served up by some big greasy fish suit wearing maid and her earring dangled down to her shoulders. i kept playin and one of the strings snapped and thats where i came up with the idea that i would leave plant city forever. i came in with six strings and left with 1. i kissed the girl on the cheek and told her that i was gooing on the road again and that if she ever saw me again she would rue the day becauese i would be a changed man with a a newoutlook and anew set of strings and a fine piece of real estate somewhere overlooking a cliff or a beach or a big big lake in the wildernesses that still exist in the dark corners of wherever they are now. i never saw her again suffice to say, and suffice to say that was the way that things remained for about another one or two years, it happened finally when i was at a thrift store in a town of which the name i cant currently recall in my state. it was in minnesota or montana or maybe michigan or maryland, but alas it was there and it existed and what it was was a book on photo manipulation using a computer program. i found this very interesting and inquired to the book seller where i could find such a program for a computer and was given the phone number and address to the local library where day in and day out i spent my time enhancing my skills on the computer and selling photos of