For your first...
...if this is really your first song you've made then you seem to have a innate understanding of the ambient music genre. It's a very good attempt. You've got lots of good layers going on. I would change the delay effect up a bit. Maybe use a manual delay, meaning that you play the instrument again yourself but at a progressively lower volume or random volume. Sometimes I get clipping or distortion but I've noticed that happen when I upload things here... it may be the transfer the site does. Also more dynamic usage of syncopation would give you a more original less mechanical sound. But then again, non vegetable midnight circuses may be mechanical...
My inspiration comes from:
http://bushofghosts.wmg.com/home.php - Probably the best album I have as far as inspiration goes.
I'm curious as to your influences and inspiration.