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laying in the backseat, staring at the ever-shifting stars

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lengthy song titles and getting seriously inspired by M83 after listening to Dead Cities, Red Seas, and Lost Ghosts! :3

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I like the chill mood at the beginning, but I think you didn’t execute it as well as you could’ve. The heavy panning sounds pretty harsh; I can barely hear anything in my right ear. I also think the instrument at the beginning is a little cheesy and generic. Then, the synth that comes in at :19 is completely in the right ear. It seems like you’ve prioritized mixing clarity over blending, and also that you’ve taken that approach a bit too far. I’d suggest looking into stereo widening techniques rather than panning both of these instruments to one extreme side of the spectrum, especially when they’re the only things going on. The mood of the piece is really calming, and as the texture thickens the blissful nature of the bell-like synths really comes through. The instrumentation is still a little cliche, though. Usually 3xOsc is a pretty unpolished plugin to use for harmonic content (great for sweeps and sub-basses, though). The mix remains loud and clear as the piece goes on, but the panning still bothers me. As for the composition, I’d like to see you use more advanced techniques of creating variety than just adding and subtracting instruments over time. I’d suggest trying to use more dynamic contrast, phrasing, and automation. Also, the piece doesn’t have much structuring. All it ever does is grow in intensity and, while it does have its cathartic moments, I think there needs to be more of an ebb and flow within this paradigm of “one big climax” in order for it to be most effective. Overall, learning to mix without relying too much on panning would be a worthwhile investment for you. You should probably spend the plurality of the time you spend mixing adjusting equalizers, not compressors or panning. Fleshing out the composition more is an important step, too. Still, the mood and atmosphere of the piece are really nice. Keep at it, Lofiskyline!

5.25/10

Mixing, mastering, and balance
1.25/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
.25/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.5/2
Instrumentation and sound design
.25/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.5/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.25/1
Composite score
5.25/10

lofiskyline15 responds:

thank you! I definitely agree on the equalizer thing and I'm actually working more on ambient fade ins rather than straight-up instrument adding/subtracting. I actually never really rely on panning as much as I did in this song, and it's kind of more for a full sound (kind of like a Panic! At the Disco situation) haha so when the second synth with the different timing kicks in, the contrasting timing catches you off guard. it also is supposed to work as kind of something to catch you off guard so as to help you remember the song more. but it could definitely be frustrating.

in terms of catchiness and song structure, this is also kind of a weird one for me. I was trying to emulate M83 in a more D.I.Y. sense as the instruments pile on. regarding the synth choice, it is a little cheesy. I was kind of going to, through free synths, go for that D.I.Y feel without losing the emotional intensity. it could totally backfire though (haha)

a song I've uploaded recently, minor truce, is probably the craziest thing I've ever done and I feel like it responds to a lot of your criticisms in terms of generic build song structure and a lack of originality. there is panning but it's a lot less minor, and, while the beginning builds in dynamics through slowly adding drums, there's several switch ups that make it worth it.

these are fantastic criticisms, though. thank you very much!

Yea its good after all. Would make a cool intro track to a synthwave/vaporave album.

Very melodic stuff, I would prefer it with some drums but I guess it would have kinda ruined the emotion you wanted to give us, this is actually pretty good, reminds me of some old "Vangelis" tracks (One of my Country's most popular electronic producer and masterpiece maker, see Chariots of Fire and Conquest of Paradise)

lofiskyline15 responds:

thanks a ton dude!! I actually tried adding drums right before finishing it but it kinda messed with the atmosphere haha; it definitely could sound cool in the right context though.

thanks for the input!

Credits & Info


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169
Downloads
1
Score
Waiting for 1 more vote

Uploaded
Jun 7, 2018
3:05 PM EDT
Genre
Synthwave
File Info
Song
4.4 MB
2 min 34 sec
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