I like the atmosphere at the beginning and the quirky instruments. The piece throws you right into the action a bit, though. It could’ve used more of a proper intro or build-up with some variety in the dynamics. There’s very little that foreshadows the drop at :55. The texture remains pretty minimalistic, and I think the drop section with the harsh mid-range bass drags on for a bit too long. It gets better when the atmospheric elements start to come in again at around 1:45. You don’t really have a lot of melodic content during a cathartic emotional height - that might be a subtle reason why this piece doesn’t sound particularly conclusive or carefully structured. The more obvious reason why it doesn’t sound conclusive is because you ended in the middle of a post-chorus. It seems clear to me that you didn’t really complete this piece how you would’ve wanted. The production quality is strong, but I think you could’ve done a lot more with the composition, including adding some harmonic depth in places, adding more phrasing/build-ups, and maybe fleshing out the structure a bit more. Keep at it, Jimmypig. ;)
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.