Rat In the Attic (Mix 2)

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Rat In the Attic (Mix 2)

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Author Comments

Remixed version of my NGAUC (underdog) 2k17 knockout round submission, as the last one was met with some feedback concerning a certain hollowness and emptiness to the mix.

All instruments are real except for the tambourine VST and "Crystal" VST I used from my DAW.

LYRICS:
Feeling the way that I do, seeing the things that I see
I wonder what has kept me from humanity's vices
With a temptress at my door, I do nothing but ignore her cries
For she fills me with her lies
And begs me to take my life
Sharpening her shiny knife
I barricade my door (Close my door)
She does nothing but implore (don't implore)
For I haven't been myself as of lately
She knows of an easier way (an easier way)
I tell her to go away (please go away), please leave
For she gives me no reprieve
Not a moment for me to breathe
The fuck does she hope to receive?
I yell it again, "Please fucking leave!"
I admit this situation is quite pathetic
Don't expect a single soul to remain sympathetic
It's a fact of life, a rat in the attic
The temptress assumes her deceitful position
Reading the things that I read, hearing the things that I hear
My mind can't help but wander through a brain left asunder
The temptress still remains, she's driving me insane, oh god
I beg her to go away
She tells me she's here to stay
Forever she will remain
I will take her to the grave
I know that she's here to stay

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johnfn

2017-08-01 03:58:06

== This is an official NGUAC Review ==

Mini-scores (not used to calculate final score in any way - just so you know what needs improvement):

Wow yea vocal song! Your vocals are pretty good for the most part, though I have to say that every now and then there's a word that you don't quite sing with the same force or that is slightly out of tune (like "do" in the first line), but overall your vocal quality is high and sounds great! The mix is still kind of weird, even though you said that you remastered this one - it has a lot of highs and the bass seems rather disproportionate. (Also the drum kit is pretty hard to hear.)

If I were to give advice to improve this song, I'd probably head in the direction of composition. While the composition definitely isnt /bad/, it kinda just... fell flat? Like it didn't really stand out or anything. It's hard to say why, part of it could simply be that it's hard to hear the chord progression and how it lines up with the vocals.

Arrangement: 3+/4
Composition: 2+/4
Sound Design: 3/4
Production: 2+/4

Overall: 8.0

verbicidemusic responds:

Thanks for the review! That bass man... I really should've re-recorded it all together to be honest, as the initial tone I had was just impossible to work with, haha. And for a song like this that relies so much on the guitars being more coloration and mood establishment, the bass really needed to come out and act as the anchor more than it did. But that aside, I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed my vocals as much as you did!

PancakePocket

2017-07-22 23:12:47

It is really good, but the clicking noise at the beginning of the song is really useless and does not fit with the song at all

verbicidemusic responds:

Funny thing about that noise, it only appeared once I had exported the track, otherwise that wasnt a concious choice lol. Weird exportation anomalies like that seem to happen often with my DAW and I dont know how to prevent them lol Glad you enjoyed it though.