Fine basis but it sounds all over the place.

acid notation żądzi

Sorry for the harsh review ! ='3

Melodies :
Here is, I think, the main problem of the track. There's a melody, but it's four notes. It's not enough to be a true melody. You need to build a melody which is memorable. You ought to use more notes and modulate that new melody in order it to catch the listener. For example : make an awesome melody in one part of the song, then, in the next part, use the same melody but change it a bit (more or less notes, change the tone...). Finally, hit the listener with a memorable return of the first version of your melody ! =3

Instruments :
To be honest, your instrumentalisation is my guilty pleasure ! Your mixing is great at some parts (that moment at 0:59, and I like how you rendered your work from 1:00 to 1:45). But your instruments need some work. First of all, I really like your drums and the 8-Bit synthesizer from 0:45 to 0:58. On the negative points, there's that reversed cymbals that is way too high-pitched at 1:45. You used a really weird bass from 2:17 to 2:31 which honestly hurts a bit. Plus, from this part, I don't know what you've done, but it's like the track is accelerating at 2:21. If that's what you wanted, well I can't say it's well done... Finally, that hat at the end of the track has nothing to do here.

Personality :
Your track has not an amazing personality I'm afraid. You need parts that suit together, there must be a logical progression line. The melody needs to be more memorable. I'm still giving you a half-star because of that unusual mixing from 1:00 to 1:45 ! ^^

Melodies : 0,5/2
Instruments : 1/2
Personality : 0,5/1

I'm sure you have potential ! You have great ideas, but you need to work on the melodies, and try to use instruments that don't hurt. Looking forward to hearing your next work ! ;)

OOOH, AWW DUDE, FUCK, THIS MADE ME HAPPY
KEEP MAKING MUSIC, FOCUS ON IMPROVING, YOU HAVE POTENTIAL. YOU'RE COOL
I LOVE YOU
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥