This is an ambitious song, but it has several problems.
The instruments, while nice-sounding on their own, do not harmonize well. This is especially apparent when three are playing at once.
There is very little feeling of progression in the song. For that reason, it either should have been shortened to about 3 minutes, or altered half-way into the song.
Keep trying, and keep experimenting to see which song ideas draw you in.
Yeah that's how I felt but also at the same time I felt that person who's good at painting but they think that's missing something, so they add an extra layer of paint. I dig the critique though, I do have the ideas but transferring them from mind to actuality gets me from to time.