Sit down kids, this song tells the story of a young boy, named Stanley T Gold . Before I get into the song part, let me give you a little detail.
Ever since he could remember, he always wanted to be a treasure hunter, but he did not want to be one of those lame guys hanging around a beach with a metal detector finding old cans and the occasional used condom. No, he wanted to be something much more. He wanted to find treasure under the sea! Pirates had treasure, pirates had boats, boats sometimes sunk! This kid knows his logic.
So fast forward into the future a little bit, 'cause this ain't no biography, it's a story. So, Stanley Gold, now 24 and on another one of his many of his expeditions, most of which were, quote "A complete waste of my fucking time, I could go finger-bang a walrus and it would be more valid as treasure hunting than the crap I'm pulling" He started to gear up for another dive off the coast of Costa Rica, where legends state (I've never heard of this legend, but what the fuck do I know I'm just the narrator) that in Sixteen-Something-One, there was an infamous pirate warship known as "The Man-O-Whore". This ship, formerly the world's first and biggest strip-club/brothel ship, was taken by the pirates in around, probably 1612, I think. Anyways, the pirates, instead of raping and murdering the women (Ha! These pirates aren't that cliche) they instead conducted business with them. They would sail around looking for a ship full of sailors who haven't seen a woman for months, and lure them into a honey trap then yada yada yada kill steal etc.
Anyway, I digress, so the pirates had a lot of treasure but it sunk near costa rica apparently.
So let's go back, he's gearing up and all that shit and he dives.
Dis is where the song begins, cool right, since it's underwater and shit. And it's cool/weird/doesnt make any fucking sense at all because this is a novel.
So he's diving around, looking for treasure, doo do dooo, then he sees something, and thinks "HOLY SHIT A FUCKING WHOLE GROUP OF PIRATE SHARKS AAAAAAAAAAH!!! THEYRE FUCKING TERRIFYING BUT SOME OF THEM SURE IS HOT, ARE THEY OFFERING ME SEX FOR CASH? AAAAAAAAAAH".
(PS. This is how I make up for not making a real song, with an improvised backing story. I am ashamed.)