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Classy Christmas Special

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Author Comments

Classy and mature as always, baby.

Thanks as always to Tremulos for letting me use his amazing tunes!

Merry Christmas Newgrounds!



This year Santa's tired of taking your shit,
If I eat one more fucking cookie swear to God I'm gonna lose it.
I know when you're sleeping and I know when you're awake.
But I've always wondered how easy a life is to take.

You sons of bitches don't you see, the gifts I bring are far from free.
All you see is a jolly face. But in truth I'm a two thousand year old nutcase.

You don't believe. That's fine with me. Makes no difference when you're hanging from a tree.
You ungrateful fuckers get what you want while the starving Africans and the Jews get nothing.
(That reminds me. )

I'm a slave driver. Elves bring me what I desire.
Christmas music plays nonstop in my merry little Elven sweat shop.

If you're on my list, I'm stabbing you twice.
I don't give two shits if you're naughty or nice.
(Santa's coming to town.)

I'm the crimson bolt streaming cross the black sky at the speed of light.
Dropping pain from my sled, all that's left in my wake are the dying and dead.

Onward Blitzen. Lets go Donner. This year the saint becomes the hunter.

Come on Dasher, come on Cupid,
Let's slay all the children who think that we're fake or stupid.
(Stupid . . .ha ha)

I've no mercy for you greedy little fucks.
Watching bodies splinter every time a reindeer bucks.

My Elves take land and sea while I lead my reindeer cavalry
The war dyes the oceans red while Mrs. Claus gives me sled head.

Merry Christmas

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This is amazing! The guitars are lovely and crisp, the lyrics are fantastic and the vocals are thick! Somewhere in between Trivium and Five Finger Death Punch.

Love it. Gonna get some play on the next radio show. :)

Something i was looking for all me life :L thank you for the gift

Merry X-Mass to you man ! I get down to this !

Wait, when did Five Finger Death Punch do a Christmas song?? Haha, I love it. It's funny, but also fast and full of energy. Great work man, I'm digging it.

Credits & Info


4.65 / 5.00

Dec 23, 2013
3:19 AM EST
Heavy Metal
File Info
6.4 MB
2 min 49 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.